Chapter 31, Esmeralda

Today is the day I'm going to face my rapist in court and testify against him. My hands hurt from how much they're shaking.

I take a deep breath.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can't do this.

Oh fuck, I definitely can't do this.

I have already prepared what I will say, my lawyer and I went through so many points, and it's all clear in my head, but just seeing him. Facing him in real life is the hardest thing I'll ever do, I'm sure.

I haven't slept tonight, neither did Milo, actually. He held me for hours, while I cried of anxiousness and apprehension. He took care of me, reminded me how much he loved me, and that no matter the jury's decision, he'll stand be me. Always. I'm so grateful to have him by my side right now.

It's insane how scared I am. Not only of him, but of the judge's verdict as well. What if they don't believe me ? What if he doesn't go to jail ? Will all of this be for nothing ?

I am snapped out of it when I feel strong arms around me. I immediately relax, and lean into Milo. I inhale his strong, purely masculine scent. He kisses my temple, before whispering in my ear, "Five minutes, baby."

My heartbeat accelerates and picks up in an abnormal rhythm. Oh God. It really isn't the best time to have a panic attack. Holy shit.

My vision starts to blur, and I blink multiple times, breathless. I catch sight of a blonde head, and my jaw hits the floor. Cleo is there.

She looks very out of place, her arms wrapped around herself, but she has Ellis' hand on her lower back, and seems more sure of herself thanks to that. She's wearing a cashmere sweater and basic jeans, but she definitely looks different. Her hair is bond in a loose braid that falls on her shoulder. Her brown eyes meet mine, and she strides towards me, probably feeling and seeing my distress.

The breath is knocked out of me when she kneels in front of where I am seated, and cups my face with her hands. Her brown eyes are shining with worry, and strange determination.

"Listen to me." I definitely am. What the hell is happening right now ? "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me the most, but it's not the right moment to talk about that. You are going to go in there, and show that son of bitch that you're not vulnerable anymore. You show him how strong of a woman you've become. You show him that women aren't his toys, and that he's going to pay for everything, okay ?" I swallow hard, nodding slowly. Her voice is unfaltering, as she continues, "You're not going to be scared. You're going to face him, and smile at him to show him just how not broken you are. Show him that the scars he left only made you fiercer. Kick his ass, sweetie." Tears are falling on both our cheeks now. God, I can't even start to process what's happening, but what I know is that this kind of speech is the thing I needed.

I nod again, and this time, join my forehead with hers. My best friend's always been my other half, and not getting to speak to her for so long made me feel like something's missing, but the void is slowly filling up again. She's my light at the end of tunnel.

"Thank you." I say through my sobs. "You're not broken either, Cleo. I hope you know that."

She doesn't answer, and only shakes her head.

"Fight Esmeralda. Please. Fight for us."

Us. Survivors. My tears fall hot and hard.

That's what we are, survivors, and I am here to get justice for myself. For me and every woman who's ever endured something like this. This is where it starts. And where it ends.

"I will. We'll get our justice, I promise."

She throws her arms around me, at last and I hug her like my life depends on it. I missed her so damn much.

Over her shoulder, I see Ellis and Milo, both standing side to side, looking a tad too emotional.

They pretend they didn't hear anything, to give us privacy which I appreciate.

When Cleo and I finally pull back, a silent understatement passes between the two of us, and trust and pride flickers in her brown eyes.

Oddly enough, I'm not that scared anymore. The anxiety is still there, but the unending and uncontrollable fear is gone, as if erased by my best-friend's words.

When my lawyer comes into view, I pull a settling breath, and I throw one last look at her, before turning towards Milo, who helps me on my feet. His arms wrap around my waist, and he pulls me in a tight embrace.

"Give everything you have, my love. You're so brave."

I smile broadly, before pecking his lips.

"I love you." I murmur, voice thick.

"I love you." He whispers back, and I look at them one last time before going into the trial room. They're supposed to come in from another door. Cleo and Ellis probably won't enter the room with us.

The first thing I see is him. My rapist. The man who ruined my life.

Mr Brown gives me a big, cruel smile, and chills shoot up in my spine. The fear is coming back in waves again, but I say Cleo's words in my voice like a prayer, and the feeling is a background noise in the back of my mind once again.

Fight for us.

I will not fail anyone ever again.

⌁

"Will the jury foreperson please stand ? Has the jury reached a unanimous verdict ?"

My stomach is in literal knots, and my whole body feels so hot. My throat is tight as a fist.

"Yes." Says a slender woman, who's a member of the jury.

I swallow multiple time, and try not to let my stress show. I don't avoid my rapist's gaze and don't show any of the emotions I'm feeling. He is fucking smiling at me. He's been throwing me seductive and cruel smiles since the beginning of the trial, and I don't think I can take it anymore. He's so fucking sure of himself. He thinks he's going to win, but even if his defense was good, my attorney provided more than enough proof to lock him up for years.

I'll make sure you burn in hell, you fucking asshole.

We both look straight ahead at the same time, when the clerk is ready to announce the verdict.

"The jury finds the defendant guilty and is sentenced for 9 years of prison with no surcease."

Oh my God. Oh my fucking God, this is it.

I don't know what I feel. Relief ?

But I know that it's strong as fuck because my knees threaten to give up on me, and my heart is literally trying to get out of my chest. Instead of covering my face with my hands like my body is urging me to, I glance over to Mr Brown to see his expression, knowing he lost. He has...nothing on his face. No anger, no pain, nothing. I don't know how to interpret that, but I don't avert my gaze when he stares at me for a long time.

Then, armed office policers, walk over to him and handcuff him. The sick man doesn't even blink, still holding my eyes, even as he is ushered away from the room. I am still standing in the middle of the room, when the door closes behind me. At the exact moment my mother throws her arms around my neck and hugs me tightly, crying in the crook of my neck. I start crying as well.

"I am so proud of you, baby girl. So proud."

I laugh through my sobs, and hug her back.

Then it's my Dad's turn to embrace me, and I am surprised to see that he is crying as well. I can count on one hand the number of times I've seen my father cry, and it makes me so sensitive, for some reason.

"You did so good, honey."

"Thank you Mommy, thank you Daddy."

Soon enough, the love of my life is standing in front of me. He has so much pride and love in his green eyes that I go speechless for a second.

"You were perfect. You're the strongest person I know, baby." He puts his hands around my waist and pulls me to him for the hundredth time today, but I don't even mind one bit. If anything, me being in his arms makes me feel more peaceful than ever.

"I am so hopelessly in love with you." He starts, and when I laugh at his choice of words, he keeps going, "It's pathetic really. You should do something about it."

I raise an eyebrow, wrapping my hands around the back of his neck, "Oh yeah ?"

"Hands off my daughter, Chase." My Dad growls when he arrives behind us, literally growls, and that gets him a smack from my mother. I can't help but chuckle. I know he's not that serious, but his protective side comes out from time to time, especially when I'm with Milo. He just has to give him shit for dating me.

Milo tightens his grip around me, then says, "With all due respect, sir, I've had more than just my hands on her."

I choke on my own saliva. What the fuck.

He really wants to get killed, does he ?

My father, who looks absolutely furious, grits out,"You're lucky we're still in court, you little asshole."

Milo snickers, and lets me out of his grip at last.

"I hope that won't stop you from letting me marry your daughter one day, Mr Hernandez."

My heart skips a beat, and my eyes widen at the proposition, and my Dad only chuckles, amusement now dancing in his eyes, "No. No, it won't."

Milo throws his arm around my shoulder and we walk away, followed by my family.

A weird and unfamiliar feeling washes through me, and I immediately recognise it. Freedom.

I am finally free.