Chapter 29, Esmeralda

"I'm sorry Esmeralda, she won't talk to you." Ellis shakes his head grimly. My heart shutters and my face falls. "Take it easy on her, okay ? Baby steps."

Tears are fighting to get out. The guilt I'm feeling right now is insane. My best friend's always been the first person I talk to about everything, my ride or die in everything, you know ? But it took a few fucking months for me to be so focused on my problems, that I totally neglected hers. She needed me, and I wasn't there. Fuck.

It's been almost a month since I found out about her abuse, and I've been trying so hard to speak to her, but she just won't let me. No one, to be honest. Except...well Ellis. Which I still am very shocked about. Cleo did talk to me about their time together, but I kind of believed it would pass, or that it was a simple flirt. Definitely isn't now. Ellis, who's normally so cold and reserved seems to have fallen for my once stubborn-headed best friend.

He even lives at her place now. Crazy, right ? Makes her get out of bed, cooks and cleans for her. Just takes care of her. I know how hard this is for her, and I'm glad she has someone to look after her.

I sniff, and nod weakly. Ellis reaches out and puts a comforting hand on my shoulder.

We're both standing in Cleo's living room. She's hiding in her room.

"How is she ?" I ask quietly.

"I thought she was making progress, but..." Ellis' voice is hoarse, and when his eyes meet mine, I see the pain they hold. "She rarely sleeps. I have to force her to eat, most of the time." He swallow hard, then clenches his jaw. "Sometimes she starts screaming at me to stop being kind to her, that she doesn't deserve it. Her trauma is..."

Oh God.

I feel like someone grabbed my heart and squeezed it hard, "I know." I choke out.

I know parts of her past, that she's never told anyone, and her saying she doesn't deserve him being kind to her, hits me. What she endured in the past is already so much, but what she endured recently might have been her last straw.

I definitely am crying right now.

"Is- Did something happen in her past ?" Ellis asks, desperation clearly marring his features.

I shake my head. "I can't talk about it. It's her truth to tell."

Milo's brother nods in acceptance and understanding.

I clear my voice, then try to lighten the mood by giving him a malicious smile, glancing over at the unmade couch. It's quite early in the morning, so the covers and pillows he used to sleep are still there.

"I never took you for a couch kind of guy."

At last, a glint of amusement lights up his hazel irises.

He scoffs, "Shut up, Catnip."

Argh. This damned nickname.

I hold up a menacing a finger to his face.

"Would you stop with that name ? That was a one time thing !"

Him, Milo and I went to get breakfast a few days ago, and a little cat came meowing at me in the street with doe eyes. So I obviously crouched down to pet him, but the asshole jumped at my face, and scratched my nose. I still have the scar. The other two assholes just stood there, laughing their butts off at me. That's where the nickname's from.

Ellis laughs, "Yeah, but it fits you pretty well. Thought you were a cat whisperer, did you ?" He mocks me, and I roll my eyes, barely hiding a smile.

When both of our laughers die out, and the grimness of the moment comes back, I put a hand on his forearm and squeeze it in a comforting gesture. It's crazy how closer these couple of day have brought us. Ellis Chase isn't a stranger to me anymore, he's a part of my family, and the older brother I've never had, and I'm pretty sure he thinks the same of me.

"Please, just tell her I love her, and that I'll wait until she's ready to talk."

The light brown haired man nods again, "I will. Thank you for com-"

He abruptly stops, and I follow his eyes as they look over my head.

My body locks up with tension. And I slowly turn around to face Cleo.

Holy shit.

She looks horrible. Her face is pale, drained of all color, she has dark circles under her eyes that are bloodshot. He hair is unbound, and messy, and the only thing she's wearing is a long oversized t-shirt.

Her brown eyes meet mine, and I feel my heart skip its next beat.

I open my mouth but Ellis beats me to it, walking over to her, his tall figure towering over her. He puts his hands on both of her cheeks, and I see her shoulders loose a bit of their tension. She looks at him as if he's the only person in the whole world.

"Are you okay, sweetheart ? Do you need something ?" His voice is filled with worry.

She shakes her head, then finally looks at me and says, "I stabbed myself."

Ellis' breath knocks out of him, and he immediately looks her over, alert.

"What ?!"

It's my first reaction as well, then when I make sure she's okay, I finally understand what she means, and start laughing. When we were in high-school, this was our code for when we got our period during class, and didn't want to be heard by grossed out teenaged boys.

Ellis looks like he's shitting his pants and that makes me laugh even harder.

"Can somebody explain ?"

Cleo rolls her eyes, and that makes me stop chuckling. It's the first time I've seen her show emotion since the day I saw her at the hospital.

"Don't turn into an overbearing mother again, Ellis. I got my period and am running out of tampons."

A hint of amusement shines in her eyes, and that makes my chest heave with hope. Maybe she's doing better ? Maybe she'll want to talk to me ?

The relief is clearly evident on my face, because every hint of amusement in Cleo is quickly gone, replaced by...nothing. She eyes me like I'm a stranger, and that makes my heart lurch all the way up to my throat. She clears her throat, then looks down at the floor.

"So, uh, add that to the grocery list. I'll be in my room." She blurts awkwardly before striding off to her room in the span of a few seconds.

"Cleo-" I try, but she doesn't look back, and slams the door.

I blink.

Ellis turns to me, unnerved, "Thank you for passing by but I've got to-"

"I understand. Go." I interrupt, because I know what he means. He sends me an apologetic look before walking down the hall to Cleo's room.

I am not surprised when I hear them fight from the living room. I let myself out, then proceed to buy her a whole stock of tampons and bring them back to the apartment, where Ellis assured me that he actually made sure to buy them when he went grocery shopping last week, and that she just didn't know where he put them.

I can't help but smile at his mindfulness. The blonde still has a a lot of way to make, but even if the sole thought of it taking as many years as it took me makes my stomach churn, I find myself a bit reassured by the fact that Ellis will be with her every step of it.

Because when it comes to Cleo, Ellis isn't going anywhere.