Chapter 25, Esmeralda

I am so fucking sick of men taking advantage of women as they seem fit.

I am a victim of sexual assault, and yesterday, I found out my best friend was a victim too.

Cleo got out of the hospital a two days ago, and she won't talk to anyone. Not even Ellis. I knocked at her apartment door multiple times, only to find Ellis laying on the floor next to her door, asleep. She wouldn't answer, even if we all knew that she was in there. I just wish I could find a way to help her.

Ellis informed me that things didn't work out between them the way he wanted them to because he had bailed on her on their first date since he had very important last-minute matters to handle, and didn't contact her before two whole weeks had passed. She had already moved on it seems, if only to spite him, because when he came to her café to apologize, she told him she already had a boyfriend who he had met, and thought he was an asshole for the way he told her - no, ordered her to wear something less showy, in front of him. He said his name was Chad, or something like that. She refused to take any charges, when there is enough proof to lock him in jail for years.

I spent hours calling and leaving voicemails on Cleo's phone, but she just turned off her phone. I can't believe I did not notice how distant she had become. I was so caught up in my problems that I didn't think she could have it way worse than me. I feel so fucking guilty.

I was at Milo's place when Ellis called him, telling him that he found the fucker, and they left two hours ago.

I am kind of starting to worry that one of them landed in jail for murder, or worse, so I call Milo and Ellis for the third time, and none of them picked up.

I canceled everything work related for the following week, because there's just too much going on right now, and work will just make my mental health worse, even if it starts to get better day by day, and at the moment, the only thing I can think about is doing something to make it stop. To make women victim of domestic, or sexual abuse come forward and press charges, and not to repeat the mistakes I made and the ones Cleo's making.

So I get ready, I wear makeup, dress nicely, place a camera in a tripod, and take place in one of Milo's apartments chairs. When I turn on the camera, a wave of nerves wrecks through my whole body, but I ignore it, and take a deep breath.

This is wrong, but feels so fucking right. I know my career will take a big ass hit if I do this, but it is the last thing that matters right now.

I am strong.

I can do this. For Cleo.

I look right in the camera, and start, "Hello everyone. This is Esmeralda Hernandez, and I am going to talk about the multiple sexual assaults I have experienced from age sixteen, to age eighteen." I feel my throat tighten, but once again, think past it as I inhale from my nose. "I was raped by a teacher who used to teach me math when I was homeschool. He used to do it at the end of every session. Now, I did not come on here to drop the bomb, and let it go. I decided to talk about it, because I have kept my mouth shut for almost three fucking years, I was scared of what people would think of me, and that they would think I'm lying. And I know that someone not believing you is the worst thing to ever happen. But I am telling every woman or even man who's experienced this before, talk about it. Tell your story because it is worth telling. Share how strong you are with other people who feel the same way, so that they can find the courage to talk about it too. And if it's happening to you right now, please press charges, leave, just get out of there. Do not make the same mistakes I did. These things leave scars that do not heal." I release another rush of air, then fight the stinging in my eyes.

"Thank you for hearing me." I turn the camera off.

Oh boy, that was so liberating, for some reason. I don't even re-watch the video, and just post it on my socials with no caption.

I immediately turn my phone off because I just know my socials will be full of notifications, and I will make the headlines in magazines and articles for days. I also do know that there are people who will not believe my story, and say that I am doing it for attention, but the truth is that if at least one fucking person has the courage to come forward and get out if an awful situation then every damn hate comment is fucking worth it. I take a shower, then have a fifteen minutes breakdown on Milo's apartment floor, just because I'm an emotional bitch, and even if I feel relieved in the fact that this secret isn't a secret anymore, I obviously apprehend how my family's going to react to the now certainly viral video. How's Milo going to react ?

I was making dinner, when the sound of the lock being opened snapped me out of my thoughts. I turn around to see a very exhausted and drenched from the rain Milo in the doorway. I instantly go to him, and hug him around the waist, not caring that my - his, actually - shirt gets wet. Having him in my arms feels so safe, that I cannot even believe it's real. For a few minutes, we just stand there, in the doorway, holding each other with only our heavy breathings filling the big open space. I finally pull away, and tilt my chin up to look at him. I have no idea if he's seen the video. Surprisingly, his tired eyes are filled with such a mix of pride, admiration, joy and worry that it makes me go speechless.

"I saw the video." He sounds breathless, and his voice is full of so much pride I am momentarily rooted to the spot.

"I saw the video, and I'm so fucking proud of you." He says, making my already wet eyes sting. I love him with every fucking broken piece of my heart.

I have to clear my voice two times, to finally be able to speak. I know that I have to be transparent with him, and I've promised myself I always would, "It needs to stop, Milo. This cannot keep happening to good people." My voice breaks, and his green pupils darken in understanding.

"I know, baby. I know." Is the only thing he says, aware that nothing could make me feel better. But what he does, is put a hand on the back of my neck, and pull it against his chest, his free arm wandering to my waist. And I swear that it does calm my nerves, and I relax against his comforting touch.

I sniff, and when we're both calmed, we go to his bedroom, and when he takes his wet shirt off, and the lightening is better I notice the bruise on the side jaw. I jump off my seat abruptly.

"What the hell ?! What happened ?" I cup his face to give the injury a better examination. Milo lets me, and when he sees the determination in my grey eyes sighs, "Ellis. He found the guy, and almost beat him to death, - he was unrecognizable. I let him do it at first, but when he went too far tried to get him off of him, and he gave me that." He points to his bruise. "Someone witnessed everything and called the police. I had to bail him out of jail, and the Chad asshole was too scared to press any charges."

Fuck, I knew Ellis was a very dangerous man when someone messes with the people he cares about, but I had no idea he could go this far. He's normally so cold and unbothered, but he's an ice-cold fire hidden in plain sight. I'm not even sorry for Chad. He fucking deserved every injury he has.

"I wish I was there to witness that." I shrug honestly.

That gets a small laugh out of, Milo, and I'm so grateful to see a smile return to his beautiful face.

"Do you want to eat something ? I made lasagna."

"Mhm." He responds, taking his drenched slacks off. I try not to let my gaze linger for too long, but he notices and an amused-satisfied smirk appears. I roll my eyes.

"Take a shower, and the dinner will be ready." Even then, my voice sounds raspy.

He narrows his eyes, the amused gleam still in his eyes as he steps in the bathroom adjacent to his room.

"Alright. I'll shower, eat dinner, then have you for dessert."

Holy motherfucker, my heart stops beating, and I can feel my ears and cheeks turn hella red. My nipples harden in anticipation.

He always has this effect of me, and delights in it.

"Well, then I guess you should do that very quickly, because dessert's not going to wait long."

"Count on it, baby."