#28 A trip down his memory lane

I blinked a few times and pinched myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming once again. Of course, it had to be real this time. It was his house, so I couldn't ask him why on earth here. But was he here earlier when I woke up?
"How long have you been waiting?" I asked, my voice hoarse.
"I came a few minutes ago. I heard the shower running, and I thought to wait for you," Sebastian replied, his eyes checking me up and down.
I was completely naked underneath that towel, and we both knew that.
"I suppose you want to talk to me," I muttered, taking a few steps towards my suitcase.
"We'll discuss while having dinner. Don't you like the clothes in your wardrobe?" the CEO said, changing the subject.
"I have plenty of my own clothes I can wear," I replied, fishing a lace bra and a thong out of the small duffle bag.
"You can use whatever you like from the other clothes, too; they're meant for you."
"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind."
Sebastian eyed my every move until I found my clothes and turned to glare at him.
"Why didn't Martha arrange these for you?" he asked like it was natural for us to have a talk while I was covered in nothing but a towel.
"I asked her not to. I can do it myself at some point if I'm going to stay here…" I whispered the last part to myself.
"Martha's here to help you, except she's now cooking dinner. Shall I help you get dressed? It's not like I haven't seen you naked before…" Sebastian said, a smirk plastered on his face.
I took a deep breath before muttering something I'd regret later. "I can do it myself just fine," I hissed before turning on my heels and heading back inside the bathroom.
I locked the door behind me and put my clothes on. The man was insufferable! Not even five minutes in his presence, and I was fuming.
I walked outside the en suite bathroom for a second time and found Sebastian pacing around my room.
"Oh, great! You're ready. Come on, dinner's ready…" the man exclaimed, walking to the door and holding it open for me.
His mood swings were unbelievable. He should consult a therapist or something.
We silently walked to the kitchen, where Martha had served our dinner at the kitchen island. It smelled delicious, and my stomach grumbled, making me blush a bit.
"Martha told me you two had a chat about the foods and odors that make you nauseous," Sebastian said as he helped me sit at the stool.
"We'll try to avoid using what makes me sick, but that won't just make my morning sickness disappear. The doctor said it'll get better with time…"
Sebastian nodded, pouring a glass of wine for himself. I had a glass filled with fresh orange juice instead.
"When is your next checkup?"
"If everything's normal, in two weeks," I replied, taking a bite of the mushroom risotto Martha had cooked for us.
"You just need to eat properly, drink water, and rest. Be positive, Evelyn! It'll help both you and the baby…"
I frowned upon hearing his words. Did he bump his head or something?
"What's wrong?" Sebastian questioned, tilting his head to the side.
"Are you okay?" I countered back, my eyes scanning his beautiful face.
It was his turn to frown. "I'm fine! Why do you ask?"
"You're being weird…" I shrugged, looking at my food again.
Sebastian chuckled, taking another sip of his drink. "Weird in a bad or in a good way?" he asked after a few seconds.
"You're worried about me, and you're not mad or insulting. Obviously, it's good, but to be honest, I'm confused…"
"I feel like we made a bad start, and I'd like to change that…" he said truthfully, after contemplating my words for a few moments.
Okay, so he wanted something from me, and since the threats and anger didn't work, he thought of trying to court me…
"What do you want now, Sebastian?" I asked, boring my eyes into his.
"To get to know you better," he shrugged calmly.
I couldn't help but chuckle. Yesterday, this man was threatening me to sign a damn contract that would force me into marrying him, and now he wanted to get to know me better! This was close to madness…
"Are you drunk? Is this another of your tricks?" I questioned, looking around us for a clue or something out of place.
"Evelyn, just stop being wary of me for a second. I'm trying to be better, and you just make fun of me…" he retorted, dropping his fork.
"It doesn't make any sense, Sebastian. It's like you have two faces: the ruthless, coldhearted billionaire who draws pleasure from breaking people's hearts. And then you're a kind, caring man who can be the perfect boyfriend and husband…" I exclaimed angrily.
None of us uttered a single word for a while. We were both lost in our thoughts.
"About two years ago, I was engaged and happily planning my wedding ceremony. I met my fiancée during college, and I fell in love with her. She was the first woman that made me want to even consider marriage and having a family. We were perfect for each other…" Sebastian trailed off, traveling back to a different time.
I was afraid to say something, and at the same time, I had no idea of what to tell him. I had a feeling that this didn't end well…
"She died two months before our wedding…" he stated, his voice void of any emotion.
A chill ran down my spine as his eyes searched mine. His grey orbs were dark like the sky before a storm. And right now, I could see all the pain and the desperation he was feeling. He wasn't a coldhearted billionaire anymore, but a simple man, mourning for his lost love.
"I'm so sorry, Sebastian…" I mumbled, not being able to hold back my tears.
"It's not your fault, Evelyn," he replied quietly, a sad smile forming on his lips.
"I had no idea about all this…"
"We were always very private, and after the accident, we paid a lot of money to keep it off the press. It was heartbreaking for both her family and mine, and we couldn't deal with all the reporters."
"You're still not over her, aren't you?" I asked, my voice below a whisper.
Sebastian frowned and looked away from me. "It's not that I'm afraid I'll forget her. Because I won't. No one can erase my memories. What I'm afraid of is having my heart break once again. I couldn't afford that, Evelyn…"
That was another thing I could have never foreseen. Sebastian was afraid to fall in love again and have his heart broken…
"You can't shelter your heart from love, Sebastian, and you certainly can't hide from pain…"
"It's working until now just fine," he retorted.
"Is it? Really? You may not feel any pain, but you make other people's lives a living hell!"
"It's not the pain, Evelyn. I've got used to her absence and the pain that comes with it. But I can't bear losing anyone else I love and care about…"
"That's why you decided not to let anyone else in…" I trailed off.
His head snapped at me, and his intense stare made my heart almost stop beating. A sigh escaped his luscious lips, and he nodded slightly.
"That's why you have all these meaningless relationships and the one-night stands…" I continued.
"I have sex, no strings attached. As long as it's consensual, I don't see how I'll get hurt," Sebastian shrugged.
"How convenient…" I sighed, rolling my eyes at him.
He glared at me, but I ignored him, taking another spoonful of my food.
"Do you think that's what she wanted for you?" I asked.
"What do you mean?" Sebastian countered back, raising an eyebrow at me.
"Your late fiancée, wouldn't she want for you to move on, to be happy?" I elaborated.
Sebastian frowned, thinking my words for a few minutes. "But I'm happy…"
"No, Sebastian, you're not. I think you're just fooling yourself with all this. You're trying too hard to show everyone that you've moved one. But you haven't, Sebastian."
"Don't judge me! We've been talking for like ten minutes, and here you're making all these assumptions for me."
"Judging you? I'm trying to help you! It's not bad to cry, and you have every right to mourn. Stop hiding your feelings, and instead, please do talk to someone who can help you accept them," I said, giving him a sorry look.
Sebastian stood up from his stool and paced around the kitchen island. When he stopped again in front of me, he looked tired and sad but also determined.
"You're right, you know…" he said, lowering his gaze. "I'm not happy, and she wouldn't be proud of the way I act and treat people."
I bit my lower lip and gazed at him patiently. This day was a trip down his memory lane…
"When I learned about your pregnancy, I felt happy for the first time after two years. And I was scared as hell that you wouldn't let me be a part of our baby's life considering the way I treated you…"
"Thus, you had this amazing idea with the contract…" I sighed.
"Once again, I'm not proud of my actions. But I now see my mistakes, and I know what I want. I just want to be the best father our child deserves to have! I want our baby to be healthy and happy, and I'll try my best for as long as I live to make that happen," Sebastian stated.
"You could have said that since the beginning…" I whispered, my voice trembling as hot tears rolled down my cheeks.
I now knew why he was so scared of loving again. However, that didn't justify his actions. It was clear that he had many things to sort out, and I wished he'd seek someone's help. But I also knew he was a man of his words, and this baby gave him hope and lightened his dark world. This baby might be his only chance to mend his broken heart, and I couldn't hinder that.
"I suppose some things we learn them the hard way…" Sebastian said, putting an end to my trail of thought.
"This doesn't mean I have forgiven you because I'm certainly not ready for this yet. However, I want for us to find a way and make this work. Our child will need a father. I'd also like for you to take under serious consideration to talk to a therapist or something about your feelings…"
Sebastian frowned but nodded, nevertheless. "I'll see what I can do. And thank you for giving me a second chance."
"You need to try for you and our child, Sebastian," I said in a small voice.
"I will. I promise you I will," my baby's father said, pecking my forehead softly.