#42 Nickolas' explanation

The following morning, a bright sun shone in the blue sky, making the perfect contrast with my dark mood. At least I had stopped crying, but I doubt there were any tears left to shed. My body was still aching, and I couldn't understand whether it was just the emotional struggle or if the pain was indeed physical.
My mom prepared for me my favorite breakfast, and I forced myself to eat it because I had to take my medication. I measured my blood pressure and wrote down the findings. My cardiologist would have to check the measurements during my next visit to the hospital.
After all these were settled, I informed my parents about the doctors' concerns. Then, I narrated to them what Sebastian had told me about Olivia, from her accident, to the fact that she was the one who saved my life. The flashbacks of our argument brought me nothing more than sadness.
However, it also reassured me that I was going to make the right choice. I couldn't stand being with Sebastian, especially after our latest fight…
My parents and I couldn't realize how he managed to uncover such sensitive information. Such things ought to be encrypted and classified, yet he made it look easier than I thought. Undoubtedly, he had paid an insanely large amount of money to discover something like this. But then again, money wasn't a problem for Sebastian…
The way he managed to obtain that information was irrelevant as long as it was the truth. Sebastian observed some details that couldn't be just a coincidence. Plus, I was sure that Nickolas had seen me that day and knew all along about my connection to Olivia- if that could be described as a connection.
The heart beating inside my chest was hers. The one thing that kept me alive and pumped blood inside my veins didn't even belong to me. The heart throbbing inside my chest belonged to the deceased fiancée of the man I loved…
But how could I know whether I was really in love with Sebastian?
Could Olivia's feelings reflect on me?
Liv loved Sebastian, and that was certain and undoubted. I had seen them in these photos; they were madly in love, something I wish I could have with him.
I was a fool to believe that he could change. His heart belonged to Olivia forever. Janine was right; I could never be happy with Sebastian when he's still in love with another woman.
I was only a distraction, an easy solution to give him what he desired: an heir.
Had he planned all this since the night he asked me to sleep with him back in Greece?
No, I wanted to believe that it was our destiny, a cruel game that fate made us go through. But I've had enough. I didn't want to be with him, for the sake of my health and for my child.
My decision had been made. I would break up with Sebastian; I'd run away from him for as long as I live. That was the best for all of us…
It was painful and hurt me more than the idea of dying. My heart was aching. No, it was Olivia's heart aching for the man she loved.
So, was it me hurting for the decision I'd make or her who didn't want to be separated from the love of her life?
This was real in every aspect because the opposite wasn't possible. My feelings were real. I fell for Sebastian; I fell in love with him. My soul craved him, my body needed him, and my mind couldn't stop thinking of him. Every living cell in my body wanted him, desired him, loved him.
"Evelyn, you have a visitor waiting for you in the living room," my mom's voice startled me.
I raised my head from the book I was holding to look at her. "Who's it?" I asked with a hoarse voice while a frown formed between my eyebrows.
"It's Nickolas Leclair, dear. He insists on talking with you," my mom replied as her blue eyes looked at me with worry.
I slightly nodded and followed her to the living room. We found Nickolas pacing back and forth impatiently.
The youngest Leclair brother sighed in relief when he saw me. "Evelyn, are you okay? What happened? Did you have a fight with Sebastian?" he questioned immediately.
"I shall let you two talk," my mother mouthed and headed back to the kitchen.
"Nick, I'm tired, and I don't wanna talk about what happened," I replied once we were alone.
The man walked closer to me and stroked my cheek lovingly. "I know that you've been crying a lot lately. And I know that asshole brother of mine hurt you yet another time. But please, tell me because I need to know the reason why I'm going to murder him…"
A small smile appeared on my lips. Nickolas was always so caring and protective of me. But now I came to realize that his behavior might be explained with the secret he knew…
"You know the reason, Nickolas. You know, since the beginning, the one thing that either could make us stronger or tear us apart. Well, I believe the latter happened in our case…" I murmured.
"Evelyn, darling, what are you talking about?" Nick asked, eyeing me suspiciously.
I walked towards the sofa and sat because I couldn't stand for too long. My baby moved, and I caressed my tummy smiling softly.
"That day, when Olivia died, you saw me at the hospital, didn't you?" I asked and bored my eyes into his.
Nickolas' light brown orbs dilated, and he gasped. He shook his head and tried to deny the truth…
"No need to keep lying. I just need to hear your truth. Sebastian somehow verified that I indeed received Olivia's heart," I added.
He was pale like a sheet and came to sit right next to me. "You both know?" Nickolas stammered, not meeting my eyes.
"Sebastian has speculated it since the moment I talked to him about the transplant. Yesterday, he broke the news to me, accusing me that I killed Olivia…" I elaborated.
Nick's head snapped, and he looked at me with mouth agape. He blinked a few times, probably just as shocked as I was a few hours ago…
"Well, I'll definitely kill him this time!" Nick muttered under his breath.
My mother walked inside the living room once again, holding a tray with tea and cookies. She helped us serve the tea and then left.
The youngest Leclair brother took a deep breath before he dove back to his memories, "I was aimlessly walking through the hospital's corridors. The second series of tests also proved that Liv was brain dead, so there was nothing we could do to save her. We all knew that she was registered as a donor, but I guess we hadn't realized what that meant or how this would affect the whole situation."
"She was a beautiful woman inside out. Sebastian was so lucky to have her," I said, squeezing his hand comfortingly.
"Well, Sebastian is a lucky bastard. Not only because of his relationship with Olivia but also because he met you, Evelyn. You're sweet and caring, yet strong and independent. He doesn't deserve a woman like you, especially when he has no idea how to treat you…"
A sad smile appeared on my lips. "It was meant to meet Sebastian and love him, but it seems like it wasn't meant to get my happily ever after…"
"Nothing is over yet, darling. Now, would you let me finish that story?" Nickolas said, giving me a fake glare.
I nodded and readjusted my position on the couch, so I can face him better.
"During this aimless stroll of mine, I came across a couple pushing a wheelchair. I saw a young woman sitting on that chair with blonde hair and light blue eyes. She was skinny, and she had an oxygen mask on her face. You looked at me, and I saw fear, sadness, and a glimpse of hope inside these bright eyes. I knew you were dying…"
Tears were streaming down my cheeks, and my lips twitched. "We… I also saw you that day?" I managed to stutter.
Nickolas nodded, lacing his fingers with mine. "I realized long ago that you didn't remember my face, and that's completely understandable. You had one too many worries to notice a strange man walking in the corridor…"
Indeed, that day I couldn't think of anything else but the surgery and the changes it'd bring to my life. I was scared because the possibilities to die were extremely high. On the other hand, this was the only way for me to survive.
"I followed you, without even knowing why. I just wanted to see what would happen to you. I heard your parents talking about the transplant while a nurse took you inside another room. I realized this operation could save your life, and somehow it made me feel better. I didn't know for sure whether Olivia would be the donor, but I knew that her heart would change another human's life. That's why I'm also registered as an organ donor, now."
I shook my head, letting his words sink in. It was a selfless and lifesaving act. I was grateful towards the unknown human who saved me, but now, that person wasn't faceless. Olivia was my savor, and I couldn't do anything to repay her but live my life to the fullest and cherish each moment.
"I tried to explain to Sebastian how courageous and heroic Olivia's action was and that he should be proud of her. She was dead, yet she managed to save the lives of so many people. Months passed by, and Sebastian was still devastated by her death. I wanted to make him feel better, so I told him what I saw that day...." Nickolas said.
"This is the reason why you two are constantly fighting, isn't it?" I asked after a few moments of silence.
The man averted his eyes from me, feeling guilty. He shouldn't be; he was just trying to help his older brother overcome his grief.
"After Sebastian learned all the details, he wanted to learn your name or the description of your face. I couldn't help him since I didn't know your name. To be honest, I didn't want to give him any hint that could lead him to you. Such things are meant to be hidden for a reason. Besides, I had no idea whether your donor was indeed Olivia," Nickolas continued as a sigh escaped his lips.
"You didn't do anything wrong, Nick. You even tried to protect me without knowing who I was. Please, don't blame yourself for what happened."
"But you're wrong, Evelyn. I'm responsible for your pain. I was the one who told Sonia to hire you out of all the women who came for that interview. I saw you waiting and instantly recognized you. I only thought that if Sebastian heard the story of a woman who was saved because of a transplant, he would change. I didn't expect that you two would fall for each other, nor that he would realize who you might be…"
So, Sebastian was right… Nickolas had planned this since the beginning, but only because he wanted to help his older brother.
"I caused all this because I wanted to see Sebastian happy again. I just wanted to help, Evelyn. I swear, I never wished for any of this to happen," Nickolas said, taking both of my hands in his.
I looked into his light brown eyes and saw the sincerity in them.
"I believe you, Nick. But I can't believe my fate… What were the chances for me to come to this interview? How possible was it for you to see me that day in the hospital and then recognize me after two whole years? Why did I have to fall in love with Sebastian? I fell in love with the man whose deceased fiancée saved my life! I have Liv's heart beating inside me, and Sebastian thinks I killed her, Nick!" I exclaimed while a new stream of tears rolled down my cheeks.
"But you didn't, Evelyn! Sebastian has lost his mind," Nickolas whispered.
A shaky breath left my lips before I replied to him, "He loves her so much. That's the only thing that drives him crazy…"
"And what about you, then? Does he have any feelings for you?" Nick asked me as a frown formed on his face.
"He craves my body; he wants to have sex with me, but he doesn't love me. He has confused his physical attraction with something more. He forced himself to believe that he loves me just because I do…"
Nickolas thought my words for a few seconds and then looked at me with a stern look. "Are you sure, darling? I thought he really loves you…"
A sad chuckle escaped my lips. "So did I. Sebastian told me that he doesn't care that I'm alive. If he could choose one of us to survive, he'd pick her over me. He would rather save her than me, Nickolas!" I exclaimed as a wave of anger and pain rushed through my body.
Nickolas hugged me and stroked my back lovingly, trying to comfort me. He knew about my fragile health, and I had to calm myself for the sake of my baby.
"He doesn't deserve a woman like you, Evelyn…" Nickolas murmured in my ear.
"I love him so much that it hurts me. But I know I'll be better without him," I said and pulled back to look at him.
He studied my face for a few long seconds before asking, "What do you mean?"
I explained my plan to him and the reasons why I've come to this decision.
Nick looked at me with a solemn look, thinking about what I had just asked him.
During these moments, I thought he would deny helping me, but then he suddenly nodded. "Very well then, I'll do whatever it takes to help you and my niece."
I smiled brightly, but my grin transformed into a grimace of pain as I felt like someone had stabbed me in my abdomen.
"Evelyn? What's wrong, darling?"
"Ah! My back, my belly! It hurts, Nick!" I yelled as I crossed my arms around my baby pump.
Nickolas helped me lie on the bed, and I saw my mom storming into the living room. The two of them exchanged a worried look, and then their eyes went back to the couch and the place I was sitting just a few seconds ago.
And then I saw it, too. A large, red stain of blood was formed on the off-white couch.
"The baby!" I screamed as another sharp pain pierced through my body, making me lose my consciousness…