#44 A hard decision to make

Sebastian walked towards my bed and sat on the chair Owen was occupying just a few seconds ago.
For a while, none of us uttered a single word. But then the billionaire broke the silence.
"How are you, Evelyn?" he asked with a soft voice.
"I'm in the hospital for yet another time because of you, Sebastian," I sighed and rolled my eyes at him.
"Evelyn, I'm here because we need to talk and not fight with each other again," the billionaire said, trying to hold back his anger.
"Very well, then, I'm listening…"
Sebastian's eyes snapped to meet my gaze. It seems like I was able to surprise him more frequently than I thought. Truth be told, I even surprised myself with my response. After all, I must give him one last chance to explain himself. But I doubt whether he could change my mind…
"I spoke with Dr. Hunt. He informed me about the bleeding and the changes in your blood pressure. I didn't know how critical your condition was. I'm sincerely sorry that I angered you and hurt your feelings the other night," Sebastian said, looking deeply into my eyes.
"You're always sorry, Sebastian, but it doesn't look like you can change. You keep treating me like shit, and I'm afraid I can't tolerate it anymore…"
The billionaire ignored my words and tried to explain himself, "The news was hard to take in, and I admit I overreacted. Also, I know that I said some really hurtful things…"
"You know? Really? Sebastian, you'd rather have Olivia in my place. Your actions clearly showed how much you care about our baby and me," I interrupted him. My tone was bitter, and my eyes were welling up with new tears.
"I love you, Evelyn, and I thought you felt the same way," Sebastian said, and he sounded hurt.
"I love you. I still do. I love you so much that it hurts me. I love you so much that I was willing to forgive all your past faults and seek a bright future with you. But you... You never loved me, Sebastian, and you never will…" By the time I finished talking, tears were streaming down my cheeks, and my voice broke in the end.
His eyes widened in surprise and something that looked like pain. "Evelyn, you don't know how I feel. You're just making crazy assumptions…"
"You made your feelings perfectly clear the other day. You don't care about me. You still love Olivia, and I doubt you will ever accept that she's gone…"
"Evelyn, will you stop talking and listen to me for a moment?" the billionaire hissed, glaring at me with his grey eyes.
I inhaled sharply and looked at my belly. My lips remained sealed as my hands caressed my baby pump.
"Evelyn, I love you more than anyone in this world. That's what scares me, my love. Apparently, I do act like an asshole when I'm scared, and I end up hurting you. But I don't think I can live without you…"
I bit my lower lip, refusing to set my eyes on him. I knew that one look in his grey orbs would be enough for me to fall into this trap once more.
Sebastian grabbed my hands in his, forcing me to look into his eyes. "I have already asked for another chance in the past, and I fucked up, I know. But this time, I'll do whatever it takes to gain your forgiveness and your trust again. Please, Evelyn, I need you to believe in me," the billionaire pleaded with me.
"I had faith in you, Sebastian. But you keep repeating your mistakes and hurt me. I can't go through this all over again, especially when I'm having our baby in less than three months…"
An awkward silence fell in the room. Sebastian was obviously thinking about all the possible scenarios, and I tried to prepare myself for what was coming.
"What are you proposing, then?" he asked, at last, casting his curious eyes on my face.
I took in a deep breath before replying, "I want to raise my child away from you. I don't want you as a part of my life, Sebastian. I can't allow you to hurt my daughter or me ever again…" I said in a broken voice.
Sebastian was livid; he stood up and paced around the room, running his hands through his hair. He was breathing hard and looked like he could murder someone.
"You can't leave me, Evelyn…" Sebastian hissed as he stopped moving and turned around to look at me.
I raised an eyebrow at his arrogant reply. "Of course, I can, Sebastian. And this time, you will let me…"
"But you said you love me, and I love you, too. We were planning to get married, travel around the world, make more babies. You can't leave me, Evelyn," the billionaire shot back. This time, he looked sincere and somewhat hopeless.
I hadn't seen Sebastian Leclair desperate, not once before. He was trying to change my mind and keep me with him. It was like his whole life was depending on my decision, on our relationship.
Under different circumstances, I would have been touched by his words, and I'd have believed him. However, this time, something fell off…
Sebastian strolled back to his chair and sat, taking my hand in his. "Please, Evelyn, I'd do anything to earn your forgiveness…" he pleaded with me once again.
"Why should I believe that you have really changed this time? You don't even care that I survived, Sebastian. You don't care because I'm not her," I whispered as a scary idea formed slowly inside my head.
"It's you, the one I want, Evelyn. It's not Olivia. Why can't you realize that?"
"Because people don't change overnight. And your reaction clearly indicated otherwise two days ago…"
"I was a jerk because I didn't know what I wanted. But I thought about it thoroughly, Evelyn, and I'm not scared anymore. I want to find the light in my life, and I know that you're the only one who can help me…"
And then it dawned on me!
I was the only one…
I was the only one with a living piece of Olivia inside my body and who Sebastian knew. Well, not just any part, but her heart.
"It's because of her, isn't it?" I whispered breathlessly.
Sebastian looked at me with a frown, "What do you mean?"
"You don't want me because I'm me, but because her heart is beating inside my body. You never loved me. You fooled yourself because you wanted an heir. You thought you loved me because I'm the mother of your unborn child. And now you think you love me because I've got her heart!"
Sebastian's eyebrows shot up, and a gasp escaped his lips. "It has nothing to do with Olivia. Why can't you trust me?" the man countered back.
"Because if you really loved me, you wouldn't care about who was the donor. You would have never been bothered to search about all these details. It should have been trivial to you, Sebastian. The fact is that I survived, yet you only see me as Olivia's murderer. That's why I believe that you don't love me…"
Sebastian closed his eyes like he was in severe pain and fell back on the chair. His lips trembled as he tried to say something, but no words left his mouth.
The irregular beeping of the machine reminded me that I should remain calm. A sigh escaped my lips, and I caressed my belly, feeling my daughter moving inside me. I already missed Sebastian's touch, and he wasn't even two feet away from me.
"You're right. I don't simply love you. There are no words to describe the blazing fire that consumes me. I don't merely love you, Evelyn, and that's what scares the shit out of me…"
A shaky breath left my lips, and I slowly turned my head to gaze at him. The intensity in his grey eyes left me speechless. The tension plastered on his face made my entire body ache. But that didn't alter my mind.
I have no idea where I found the courage to utter my following words. "If you really love me… If there is truly a tiny part inside you that burns for me, then just leave me alone. I don't want to be anywhere near you. So, please, if your declaration is even partially true, then stay out of my life forever, Sebastian…"
My words were void of any emotion. Only the rapid beeping of the machine revealed my distress. This was the worst pain I've felt in my entire life, but it was a sacrifice I had to do, in order to build a better future for my baby girl and myself.
"You want me to stay away from you, right?" Sebastian whispered after a few long moments of silence.
My voice stuck at the back of my throat. I nodded, taking a few deep breaths to regain my composure.
"I want to hear you say it one more time, Evelyn," Sebastian ordered, eyeing me with his glistening grey orbs. He was also on the verge of tears.
I tried to convince myself that my choice wasn't wrong. It was painful, but my logic said it was the right thing to do.
"Sebastian, we're over. Whatever our relationship was, it's now over. I want you to stay out of my life, and I promise I'll do the same," I then stated, boring my eyes into his.
I could swear I saw something breaking inside his grey orbs. However, he didn't utter a single word. He just stared at me like he was trying to memorize every inch of my face and every shade of my light blue eyes.
My lips parted more times than I cared to count, and I had to stop myself one too many times before I tell him I was wrong. I just stood there, silently gazing at his handsome face.
At last, Sebastian stood up and bent over to place a soft peck on my belly. I heard him whisper something, but I couldn't understand what. And then, his eyes were on my face again, making my tears roll down my cheeks freely.
"I'm really sorry for hurting you, Evelyn," Sebastian whispered and leaned to kiss my lips softly.
It was a simple peck, yet to me, it was the most intimate kiss we shared. Sebastian's scent filled my senses, and my body tingled under the familiar touch of his lips.
"Promise me to take care of our daughter and yourself," he muttered, eyeing me with teary eyes.
I nodded frantically, trying to utter a few simple words. "I do promise you, only if you do the same, Sebastian…"
A sad smile appeared on his lips, and he shook his head. "I'll always love you. Never forget that..." he whispered and pecked my forehead.
We didn't add another word, and after looking at one another for a few more moments, Sebastian slowly walked out of my room.
With love comes the pain, and this was the worst pain I've ever felt.
I just prayed this was the right choice for my baby girl and me because I wanted to make the best out of this second chance I was given.
I wanted to find my happily ever after, even if my prince charming wasn't part of it…

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A.N. Thank you for reading! We're moving towards the last part of the book. I think we need about ten more chapters before we reach the end. Your feedback is much needed, so please make sure to comment and let me know your thoughts. Stay safe!