Broken

Giulia De Angelis

One second
One minute
One hour
It could have been a fucking eternity and it would still be insufficient to assuage all the pain, physical, mental and emotional. The shock of the icy water on the body was not able to destroy a single nerve anymore, at least if I still have any, so without making a point of opening my eyes slowly, sucking in my breath, choking with the new wave of icy water being thrown straight into my body. face.
Dominus grinning like a hellhound in a single-headed version, pleasure in causing pain etched across his face.
Look, the bitch is awake, she knows her brother is out and he's given me an order that I'll gladly carry out.
I shivered not from the cold but from disgust, shaking my head for an answer.
Giovanni would kill you.. - I said even shaking
Funny, I don't know what you got up to with Vincenzo, but Giovanni himself gave the order.
The truth reflected with disgusting pride was the apex of all punishments finally, Giovanni found one to break me.
Oh don't worry little bitch, he said I can't penetrate you.
The full smile flashing a silver fang woke my muscles I tried to struggle to get away and if there was anything left I would vomit at his feet.
he just laughed
Pulling by the hair turning my body, I gasped with fear facing the other two men that I recognized as his trusted soldiers.
Giovanni didn't forgive the kiss at that party, the touch on the waist, and for a moment I wished he'd known about Giacomo's touch just to finally have freedom from death.
I screamed with relief feeling the rope undoing the painful grip taking my arms from my back against the marble releasing the blood and I screamed again when I felt my arms trapped upwards I lifted my head feeling sorry at the same moment with a stranger on each side holding my ankles forcing feet against the table leaving my intimacy exposed to the man.
Xiuuuuuuuu…
I screamed so hard, taking the air out of my lungs, looking at the chandelier, understanding that a sinner's prayer would not be accepted.
I heard their laughter and I nursed a hard, hot, heavy feeling gripping my soul like the only way to keep myself sane, I don't force myself to pass out nor do I have the strength to throw up just to feel.
Feel the disgust of your laughter
Disgust of hands touching my skin
Revulsion of desire stamped in their eyes
Disgusted to be Giulia De Angelis
And the ardor burning in my chest like boiling water for the first time in my life I wanted to kill, the three men who mocked my pain, who spit in my face and spilled their liquids under my skin completely unable to thank me for not being invaded was clear in the soldier's face having reached its goal noticing my expression.
The humiliation, disgust and feeling of always knowing my skin has been bathed in them is like being submerged in a sewer.
When she is finally released, she runs out of the house, not caring about her empty stomach, her rotten hair, her nakedness showing all the marks and the sticky liquid running down her skin, staining the carpets.
I entered the room running to the bathroom sitting under the shower in the hottest water possible, feeling my skin being burned by the water crying for knowing that no soap is capable of cleaning the dirt marked in my soul.
The dark eyes returning with their pent-up fury and the lies building a wall between us, it becoming crystal clear why my allegiance remained where it is, I was ready for anything but last night.
I was unable to escape into the memories or hide from the pain, I got to my feet after feeling the fingers that wrinkle looking for air again. With guilt slicing through his chest, guilty of her suffering, guilty of deceiving him, guilty of being a temptation.
It's all so automatic that I stop in front of the mirror under the marble sink feeling the disgust corroding my body, I brush my teeth hard feeling my gums bleeding, the strong taste still marked, bitter in my mouth.
I go towards the closet without drying my body putting on the biggest sweatshirt I have covering the marks, trying to hide the pain, wanting to go back to that hell and put her in my arms. I swallow back the sobs coming out of the room, the burning across my skin like a warning.
The scream gets stuck in my throat along with understanding as I look at the open balcony door even with the sun high, the dark eyes analyzing everything and especially burning under my skin.
You shouldn't be here. - I'm desperate. - My brothers…
I stammer out of breath, thinking about the consequences, I run, locking the door, leaning my body against the wood, tempted to collapse.
They have other things to worry about right now.
The calm, deep voice reverberated through my broken heart cutting through the wall, I lifted my head seeing the strong open hand extended waiting for a single movement and even with all the consequences burning in the back of my mind I was unable to deny it.
I held his hand like a safe harbor wanting to hide and forget everything with the warm touch being supported by the strong arms in a bear hug along with his peaceful kisses through my wet strands making slow caresses on top of the sweatshirt scaring away the pain with the heat of the his touch, I wanted to be stronger, I wanted to hate him, I wanted to protect my family against everything else I just let the man seep a little more through my veins like a drug intoxicating everything.
Clouding the thoughts, the pain covering the bitter bile with its heat and the rage that should burn between us, becoming a shield tearing down all the walls erected over the years. I felt fury, felt hate burning in my throat and meeting the dark scorching gaze reality hit me with brute force.
We're just pieces too broken to even form a jigsaw puzzle.