Inside, not so empty

giacomo

The tiredness doesn't leave my back, the tiring trip still weighs on me along with the expectation of having lunch with Bella, I sit up in bed with effort seeking some patience to deal with the company's business and the Riina's inventory.
The vision of central park with the sun breaking over the horizon transforming the shadows into light, I use this to embody the role of the day, Family Head Costello with blood in his eyes from the lack of answers about the murder of the younger sister with her brother-in-law.
Indispensable for the revolt to mix with the anger, I try to put my feet on the floor lifting my body to take a strong breath, wanting to wake up all the dormant muscles, I walk to the closet, stopping in front of the mirror.
With eyes marked by lost sleep, hair in need of a cut along with a stubble that I don't intend to shave right now. I try to analyze what is missing, yes, what is missing is expressing anger.
Thirty days without answers from Beatrice's death, Salvatore Riina along with her cousin were betraying the family, Bianca died as a file burn. So, there is anger against the Mexicans, anger against the lack of information.
Little time to erase the grief, little time to erase the anger… opening gaps in the character, I take off my underwear, throwing it in the corner, going to the bathroom, I turn on the bathtub faucet, throwing some balls I got from Bianca last Christmas.
When the hot water is half full, I close the faucet, sinking into the real sensation, in the few minutes of reality of the day.
It should have taken longer to talk about marriage with Enrico, that would keep the mourning facade intact, the memory of the calm voice and smooth skin fills my mind, I couldn't bear to wait any longer.. Giulia is going to be my wife.
Anger against Mexicans, on the other hand, can be reevaluated, harnessed depending on what Beatrice did and how she did it. That bambina has a perfect team to execute things, the problem is with me, in how I let the desire override the character, in how I let her see the truth reflecting through my eyes.
Now things are complicated with Enrico Sartori, that old fox didn't buy the lame excuse let alone the desire to start a family, no he just sees a lesser family enforcer rising through the ranks with a timely marriage straight to the next family in line of succession.
He's not entirely wrong, except that instead of uniting my family with the De Angelis, I intend to destroy, annihilate their names. Not even the feeling that I've been nurturing these years for my little Bella, is able to erase the animal that desires the blood of its brothers. I don't expect forgiveness from God, only that Giulia forgives my sins.
I sink into the tub closing my eyes, feeling the water wash away my worries, place my hands on the sides and stand up, ready to organize and fix my mistakes.
Running my hands through my wet hair, I pulled the towel from the holder, wrapping it around my hip so I could brush my teeth, trying to stave off the feeling of awkwardness.
I walk to the closet, picking up a gray suit to wear, putting together the character of the day, closing my face along with the strange sensations awakened by Giulia.
I close my eyes listening to Antonio's voice.
Keep control son, outside be a rock and inside a storm.
Save reality for when you're inside the bathroom, outside of it just show strength and power even if it's not real.
I leave the room with a frown, seeing Giuseppe coming out of the kitchen.
If that maid quits because she can't hold your dick, you're the one who's going to clean the old man's apartment. - I speak harshly, realizing that he is still adjusting his suit.
It will be an honor and pleasure, Lord. - Son of a bitch responds.
The private elevator arrives in the lobby, hurriedly heading to the Escalade parked outside the building, seeking to formulate some way to justify Stefano's death, being snapped out of my reverie by the cheeky soldier driving.
How can I help, Giacomo? His voice conveys sincere concern for the long years of service within my family.
The Don suspects that I may have killed my own sister, just because I was stupid enough not to wait to ask Giulia to marry him. - Snort running his hands through his hair.
It's a serious accusation. - Speaks closing the face.
Which he didn't make a point of hiding as he passed me the Riina possessions in approving the marriage. - I replied, firming a silence inside the car.
The clogged streets near Central Park add to the transit time to the company's headquarters, just thinking about all the paperwork to sign along with the ghost puzzle to assemble.
You know... - Break the silence.
Hmm..
We are not capable of love, so when someone comes along who makes us question our own selfishness and control our bloodlust to protect him, he is the right person. - To the car in front of the company, while we look in the rearview mirror.
Since when do you understand feelings, old man? - I arch my eyebrow.
I don't understand. - Answers getting out of the car.
As I open the door with a curious gaze, we walk towards the glass doors being opened, walking through the lobby, I'm about to ask what I mean.
Your father told me so. - Cut the silence when we are alone in the private elevator.
When did you marry Donatella? - I ask curious as I have never heard that from him.
Not. - The elevator beeped, with Giuseppe getting out in front of me holding the doors as we crossed the face-to-face floor, opening the door to the presidency.- He said that, looking at you in the nursery as soon as he was born.
I pause for a moment on my back, absorbing what he's saying, is he really implying that?
I was there when I saw that girl for the first time after so many years I'm still here, that woman is the one boy. - I twisted my mouth with my back to him repudiating the nickname.
I continue on my way, putting my blazer over the leather chair, looking at all the documents scattered around the table disorganized by the lack of a secretary, trying to fix the mask I chose this morning.
I need you to help me prove it to Don. - I tighten the tie seeing the man's face become serious about important matters, he nodded in positive. - Let's find out who killed Beatrice.
The support of one of the most respected soldiers in the barracks is a silent weapon, the powerful never expect betrayal by their own servants. I got on that old fox's radar by an unthinking move, since the information about his house can be worth something in the middle of this dance and if anyone can get information without any suspicion it's Giuseppe who goes out destined in his mission to support a man who apparently found the right woman.
I tap my fingers against the glass table, putting my thoughts in order, looking at the scattered papers, I start to organize one by one, separating by priority, company versus organization, making some notes on a pad to solve later. When I'm done, I lift my head to the doors opening with Don Sartori wearing a tailored suit with blue eyes gleaming in silent menace, Hunter enters shortly after closing the doors.
As I leaned back against the chair, opening a welcoming smile to him, which he returned with a wave, sitting in front of my desk, analyzing every space in the office, even if he'd been there before.
To whom I owe the honor of your visit, Don. - I say calmly keeping the smile in place attentive to the movements of his fingers squeezing the arm of the chair.
I get a smile in return, highlighting the wrinkles around my eyes as she brings her right hand to her chin, displaying the family jewel on her ring finger.
Son, I believe I made a mistake the last time I came here. - I arch my eyebrow wanting to show surprise by the words. Hunter gets up going to the sideboard serving glasses with the best vintage the Bernardi family can offer. As I spur analysis on the man trying to pique my curiosity, I take the drink, hoping he'll try his own, raising his glass in a toast, deciding to go ahead with the pathetic act.
I very much doubt that you have ever made a mistake, Sir. - I speak with confidence demonstrating the non-existent faith in this man who stains the name of my ancestors.
I don't make a point of breaking the silence by showing calm, letting you analyze the entire office and the details of the decoration. It's funny how a woman had the ability to trick the old fox in that way, as much as I'm proud of her at some point I'll make sure to have the pleasure of ripping some heads off.
Beatrice has always been so close to me that it's scary how much she can understand what's going through my mind even though I've done everything to keep her away from it all. It's as if fate conspired to turn the smart, loving, understanding girl into that little beast asking for a punch in the face to reassert a fucking act.
My son, I have already made many mistakes, one day you will make them too. - It breaks the speed of my thoughts, opening a corner smile. - You see, I imagined that you only owned the floor and today I found out that you own the entire building.
I burst out laughing, stoking the anger of the man, who for the last few days has been looking for every opportunity to poke and try to diminish the merits of my family. It's not as if you need any other affirmation to be sure of your suspicions.
Everything I have, whether it's cool as this building or not. - I paused taking the rest of the drink fixing our gazes. - It is at the service and disposal of the organization, but if you had asked the last time, Don Sartori would have clarified this detail.
The Don's frown broke into a sly smile, pausing to survey my brother for the first time since entering the room.
I hear you take great care of the accounts, Hunter.
I do the best sir. - He responded.
So I hope you don't mind passing along both your family's ledgers and the ones you picked up at the club.
Hunter nodded and I moved to the side to give him access to my desk drawer, pulling out the requested books knowing the old man only wanted a reason to attack.
It will be comical when I see Salvatore's numbers destined for Stefano while he doesn't find any deviation in ours, with that thought I dealt with the rest of the visit in full automatic mode letting him take what he wanted more concerned with the information I need to receive from Giuseppe and wanting to hit his head on the glass of the table trying to think of a way to talk to Beatrice without arousing suspicion.
Which sucks with Vincenzo's dog sticking those ticks to my tail, since I left the house in the morning I've noticed that the amount of hours they keep someone watching has increased. He must only want one reason why he can try to call off the engagement, even trying to sneak into Hunter's car can be dangerous.
Other than that I still need to know how Jack is handling the business in Arizona, if the kid starts drawing too much attention to things here, things could get complicated since we're both committed to starting a family.
In addition to the new responsibilities with the establishments, the nightclubs that need to be in full operation moving the organization's money and new demand for our drug sale that can now benefit from the direct sale inside the nightclubs.
Once again Beatrice was completely right, a foot inside these nightclubs and a foot firmed in the marriage with Giulia increases our strength, also increasing the attention on us, these are two businesses of the organization even if the sale is small it will take another proportion leaving the streets and getting inside the most influential noses that attend the parties.
I spend the rest of the morning trying to sort out the mess of incorporating the two businesses into the organization on the verge of losing my mind when Giuseppe returns and Hunter comes in like a hurricane, I throw the interview function to the soldier who purses his lips but doesn't disobey orders while my head is exploding trying to stay focused on the holding contracts.
The day passes like a martyrdom trapped inside the office without having the slightest chance of being able to simply lose my mind and spill my head hitting someone, as I wish I could only kill some cretin at four o'clock in the afternoon, I refrained from these thoughts by filling my mouth with another glass of the amber liquid burning in my throat to focus my thoughts on the bigger prize I'm going to win tomorrow.