How many sins are there in the layers of hell?

Giulia De Angelis

I took a desperate breath at the knocks on the door, raising my body to hide on the opposite side of the entrance with fear mixing into a totally different feeling when I felt Antonella's arm pulling her closer, while Giacomo took his hand to the gun strapped to his back to open the door, cutting off the view of whoever is on the other side.
- Are you Hunter's brother? - The soft voice fills the apartment.
- Yes, any problem? - I observe the firm back tensioned under the fabric of the dress shirt, widening my eyes when remembering his blood-stained chest after cutting himself with his nails.
His look so distressed and furious taking over my mind, the darkness screaming in silent desperation and the animal completely on the loose as he destroyed the closet leaving each of his worst traits in sight and the indignation expressed in every step when finding out about the my girl, I smoothed her hair once more against my chest, holding back sobs so as not to frighten her.
My daughter, wounded by my sins and that of her father, without a name, without a certificate to declare her mine with an underweight body due to the neglect of the men who should love her the most. If they really wanted something good, they would have taken the opportunity to make a good deal on a marriage in the organization, but all those two men, blood of my blood, are capable of is causing pain. I snap out of my thoughts at the warm touch of my hand.
- Take her to take a shower, here are her clothes. - He pushed the bag towards me and it was impossible to hold on any longer.
- Come here dear. - I surrendered my sleepy child to Antonella taking the bag and leaving with her at the same time that my legs failed me.
Strong arms encircling my waist, hands slipping under my legs as I buried my face against his chest, the woodsy scent of perfume mingling with the tang of blood.
I wrapped my arms around her neck crying for all the years, for all the beatings and each of the abuses, the fear coming out with each tear and the burn building with a desperate fury at the memories of the touches she endured.
I opened my eyes in anguish when I felt his arms pulling away, noticing a small bathroom with an even smaller bathtub filling with warm water.
- Stay here. - My voice came out so low that I was looking for strength to speak. - Stay with me.
My shoulders hurt with the weight of my sins, the consequences of my actions, going through hell barefoot lacerating the flesh, pain, slow, cruel consuming every detail of the believing soul in better days. I feel my knees giving way under the weight of him his hands lift me into a protective embrace his eyes give away all the cruelty in his soul they cover my heart with shame that I ever wanted anything more than to be a sinner.
His eyes shone when he removed his shirt, showing his chest bruised by his own nails, I took off my sweatshirt without hiding any part of my body, because the man in front of me has feelings so intense that he cuts his own flesh in the face of pain, my pain, ours pain, he got into the bathtub I extended my hand that I accepted without a doubt even with my eyes blurred by endless tears, I let out a sigh sitting between his legs with the hot water running down the sides of the bathtub.
The reality is that being in his arms, being enveloped by all the cruelty of your soul warms you, every part dead from the past's whimpers of hope, every line painted in gold to give a false smile when you only had rottenness to offer.
The long arms reaching up to pull a soap, smoothing the scarred skin with such care, and it was in that moment that I realized accepting fate swallowing hard each of the evils discovering that to have the arms of the devil himself around my body it was necessary facing the sea of hot lava, the present at the end compensating for each one of the pains as I rest my head against his chest looking into his intense eyes with the certainty that even in the midst of hatred he is the only one capable of accepting each of my pieces , your arms are able to unite each part destroyed in recent years and even though it was crazy I realized loving every detail of the cruelty stamped on the irises knowing the fate of all your fury.
He provokes a sense of belonging, he brings a desire for revenge and the sweet taste of death fills my lips with the certainty, only he is capable of causing all of this. It's the one that makes every day in purgatory count, be prepared for him, serve him and the beast that hides behind every smile.
A man or an animal, the owner of my fantasies touching in painful calm the bruised skin making its bloodlust corrupt any good traits that existed, that girl died every day for the last few years to finally enter paradise embraced by the devil . The feeling of belonging finally making sense in our silence, his injured fingers caressing my cheek, I turned a little to the side opening a smile with his hardness under my injured ass strangely happy to mess with him in the same proportion.
I've never been able to see so clearly through the pain and hate and all my mistakes, all the lies I've lost the chance to fight him, getting down on my knees to worship every single one of the worst parts of him. I could fall into a pit or be thrown into the fire like women who stood up for their ideals, being wrongfully accused, I wanted so hard to be accused again, to be judged again to accept the hot flames of the dark-eyed animal, consumed by the intensity of the thirst for revenge that shines in every stroke.
I never imagined wanting to be a sinner and now I just want to be his sinner, be punished by his calloused hands, consumed by the darkness of the deaths he carries and the pain he causes, he is the most beautiful fucking fallen angel.
I pressed my cheek against his chest, sighing in relief at the strong beats. I am a sinner, condemned without the right to defense by stronger people, incapable of feeling anything, being welcomed by the greatest foe, by the one who should have been worse than them, receiving a slow caress on the arm by the careful touch, giving meaning to the entire crossing until to come here, to be in your arms with my sins exposed bleeding openly between your fingers with no recrimination in my eyes.
The eyes so intense and conflicted, strangely calm, as if contemplating some precious thing, I was taken by the intensity of that look, whatever our substance, whatever our soul is made of and our broken hearts are made of the same material, if completing in a perfect union. With the only certainty that he's the only one capable of making me bleed and beg for more.
I raised my hand touching his beard, caressing his face hardened by the years taken by the same feelings as years ago, the certainty of his protection welcoming my fears I smile when I realize that the tears have dried.
- I will kill them. - I was silent with the statement.
Tracing an invisible path through your chest, trying to understand this madness.
- I know. - I answered so calmly.
His fingers lifting my chin to the gaze analyzing each of my features the raw wickedness stamped, eliciting a smile from me, making his expression contort.
- I grew up hearing about your wickedness, Giacomo, about how all the other men in the family would not mind destroying every part of me. - The humorless laugh escaped from the throat. - But look, those I believed to love were the first to destroy me, the one I believed to be worse than them is the first to take care of me.
- That doesn't stop you from being worse than them. - The deep voice sent a vibration straight to the middle of my thighs.
- Do not do. - I muttered. - It only builds certainty that I crossed the sea of rot to see the beauty of your darkness and Giacomo, I should be scared, I should run but I promised not to lie to you anymore and the truth is, I crave their pain just as much I wish to be the only one chosen to be in hell by your side.
I let the startled sigh escape at the ravenous touch of his lips against mine, our eyes open in silent agreement expressing each of our truths. The hard truth that I was seized by desire at the first touch, at the first look, and even if his darkness is greater than that of my tormentors, it is a darkness that I want to be consumed, something that burns under my skin, settling like the traces of yours. tattoos, pieces falling into place. I moaned with the delicate bite on my lower lip, burying my head in her neck, loving every trace of the scent of her skin, finally having a place to call mine, beside her.
Going through each storm and each of the nine circles of our hell, building a new layer for us and our perversions.
Is this a way to love?
How do you love someone?
How do you love?
None of the thousand voices running through my mind are able to hide how delicious sin is, embrace each of the crooked lines I've found hidden under every scar branded in my soul, anxiety is really a cruel bitch, creating wicked fantasies to be brought down by the wrecking ball named Giacomo Costello. I inflated my chest lovingly remembering the flames taking over the prison he lived in for so long, finally accepting the destiny traced from the cradle to be his, to welcome each of his pieces, each of the faces of his lies and finally love, the worst of man without fear of being condemned or reproached because here our sins do not exist.
I was lifted by the strong arms leaving the bathtub with the water already cold, being taken to the room with a small bed all wet to be placed aside I raised my hand in his direction in an invitation, loving the small smile that opened on the real face , our bodies putting themselves to warm up covering with the sheet. Loving every real part of us exposed to the sun.
With no mask hiding our perversions, pains and dark desires that want to walk their own path in search of liberation, I closed my eyes letting the worst thought surface and what should have been a nightmare became a dream.
Hand in hand with my demon watching the two men writhe to death choking on their own blood.