Chapter Twenty One

Zack was still talking as we played and he apparently never ran out of things to say. I couldn't say it was annoying because at least it took the attention off me. I could tell Adam was still fascinated on why on earth Castus hadn't marked me and I don't think I could stand any more questions.

"You touched that." Denis told Adam.

Adam gave him a look which Denis deserved, he'd been no where near the ball after all.

"New game?" Zack offered.

They both nodded and he took a black plastic triangle to center the pool balls. I couldn't really play since I'd never done it before. I knew how it worked because I'd been around others who'd played it but there was only that.

"Is it a secret?" Denis asked me.

I looked at him and cocked my head a little. "Is what?"

"I just really want to know."

"What?" I gave him an exasperated look.

He grinned a little. "Why didn't he mark you?"

I just shrugged and looked away.

"Sven c'mon, please, he's been searching for you for what, a year and six months? And it was his first time sleeping with you right? It just defies logic. He needs to mark you. He needs to claim you there's no way he can sleep with you and not claim you. Is there something going on?"

When I looked up I noticed all eyes were on me and glared at Denis. I'd thought of him as the sensible one as he had been the one to deflect Adams questioning earlier. But apparently he wanted answers just as much as they did.

"Castus... I don't want him."

Everyone went silent and they gave each other looks. I could practically feel the tension in the room. And when Adam looked up at and away from the pool table I felt myself sinking into the floor.

"You don't want Castus?"

"I don't want him." I said as I grit my teeth.

"You need him."

"Maybe, but I don't want him."

"And you're trying to tell me since his submissive lunus decided he doesn't want his alpha he would not mark you?"

"Maybe."

"Bullshit." Denis said before Adam could say anything. "Castus takes what he wants, it pissed me off a lot at first, he practically demanded us to join him, expected us to revere him, but eventually you grow to respect that. Castus is as dominant as they come, there's no way he's giving in to what you want simply because you want it... no offence."

"I'm not submissive." I argued.

"I've never seen such a large pile of bullshit and it keeps growing."

Adam cut in. "You are Sven, maybe it's not obvious to you but it is to us."

I glared at them. "Hows that! I can fight! I'm fast and I'm good at hunting. I won't hesitate to rip someones neck out if I have to."

"Brutality has nothing to do with submission, you're used to following orders-"

"Fucking rubbish, I never let him tell me what to do, not him not anyone. Don't act like you know me all of a sudden." I spat every word out with a vehemence I didn't really feel. If I'm being honest Castus was the only one who's orders I thought to deny. When it came to teachers it was natural in me to just comply with whatever they requested.

"Apologies, I did not mean to word it in such a way that it would offend you. There are other ways we can tell."

"How?" I demanded.

"Your stature for one thing. Short, lean, you have muscle on you but it's soft.-"

"I'm not weak!"

"And I'm not saying that. For a wolf that's lived on his own, fought for his own for over two years you should be much more muscular. There's no shame in admitting you're submissive. You are making the erroneous assumption that you are the only submissive male wolf. We've two in this pack, my younger brother being one of them."

I spoke through clenched teeth, my eyes downcast. "I. Am. Not. Submissive."

There was a silence and Denis sighed.

I looked at all of them realizing just how awkward I was being. They probably thought I was crazy, thought I was somehow abusing their great and perfect alpha Castus by not letting him mark me like a fucking slave. Be bound to him after all he'd done to me. Fucking bullshit.

"That's not even why I don't want him. He's the one that rejected me! Why the fuck should I let someone mark me who made my life hell!"

Zack gasped. "No what? He rejected you?" He looked at me his eyebrows scrunched up. "Ah, I'm confused."

"Why don't you talk to us explain it?" Denis requested.

I sighed and sat down on a pool char sitting close by them.

"He rejected me, I left, lived on my own for two years, he drags me back here and now I can't leave. Yada yada yada the rest is history."

Adam's eyes widened. Up to this point his facial expressions had always been very slight so it was a surprise to see a strong reaction coming from him.

"And why can't you leave?"

"Made me promise." I muttered.

"He made you promise not to leave?"

I nodded.

"Or what?"

"Or what?" I asked slowly, pretending not to understand what he was asking.

"How did he make you promise not to leave?"

Threatened to put me over his knee and spank me. Fuck no I couldn't say that. Dammit.

I felt uncomfortable with all eyes on me and I began realizing that maybe this wasn't such a good idea. I didn't want Castus to go crazy on me thinking I was trying to turn his pack wolves against him. I was just talking I don't even remember how the conversation got so tense.

"He was gonna uhh..."

"Spank you?"

I stared at him with the widest eyes.

"I would have done that too."

I glared.

"Then I bet you agree with him going all caveman on me and kidnapping me."

"No. But I probably would have done that too."

"Why?" I stressed.

"Because no matter how much I fucked up I'd still want to make it right. You were sleeping with someone when we got there."

Zack looked uncomfortable. He didn't look okay with what we were talking about but then again he was the only one who hadn't helped bring me back from South Henskin.

"Yes."

"And the air smelled like consummation."

"Probably."

"You slept with someone."

I nodded, I wasn't looking at anyone now.

"Why?"

Shrugged.

Fuck this.

I don't need to be interrogated.

I got up and started walking out, back the way we came, I wasn't going to continue that annoying fucking conversation. Five minutes in and I was already pissed at my new friends.

I wanted to get along with them I really did. Some part of me was so disappointed that I'd just stormed out of there. For whatever reason I really wanted them to like me, to feel like I was one of them even though I wasn't a part of their pack.

So I had a good reason for being pissed at myself as I walked through the kitchen and back up the way I came.

Before I could get past the doorway though I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see who it was. Zack. I gave him a weak smile and apologized for leaving so soon, adding that I was a little uncomfortable with the conversation.

"No way, you don't need to say sorry dude that was all Adams fault." He scratched his head. "I'm sorry for not stopping them by the way, they both have trouble censoring themselves sometimes. I mean they automatically act a certain way with people who are... like... um." He stopped and looked away.

"Like what?" I asked, confused.

"I uh."

Now he got me curious. "Zack?"

"Uh, don't be mad... Submissive?"

"But I'm not submissive." I narrowed my eyes, challenging him.

He wiped the sweat off his forehead. "Right, right, of course, I know that, but I am, and they probably think you are... So that's why they're acting that way... 'Cause they think you are... I- um."

I felt sorry for snapping at him. He stuttered a lot. Despite being taller than me and more muscular than me he was apparently submissive, the only other submissive in the pack apart from Adams brother. That must be nerve wracking, being treated like that by everyone, like you need to be guarded and guided and told what to do.

"Don't worry about it," I mumbled.

He smiled at me. "Want me to make you something to eat? I'm hungry."

I looked at him. "I just ate, didn't you make it?"

He nodded and blushed. "Right. Yes."

"You ate too." I pointed out.

He chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "Yep, want to go to the drawing room then?"

I gave him an odd look. "If you want to eat then we can eat, it's not like I'm full."

His face was full blown red at this point. "Um, I just like cooking."

I snorted, "Okay so then let's cook."

"Really?" He looked surprised and so happy I nearly jumped him. He was pretty adorable when he wasn't yapping his mouth off.

Zack showed me where everything was in the kitchen and got out some of the things he would need to make me something to eat. I felt a little bad because I knew I couldn't eat anything more, or not much, I just really wasn't hungry at this point, I'd stuffed myself full when I had the chance.

"Maybe not a meal for now, why don't we make cookies or something?"

"Are you sure you don't need more to eat?"

He looked me up and down in a way that definitely should have annoyed me but oddly didn't. I didn't need him judging me based on my stunted growth. I was thin but not that thin. And I was sure hanging around him for a couple days I would fatten up quickly.

"I'm not hungry enough."

He just nodded. "Alright, cookies it is."

Zack was so excited running around the kitchen gathering materials together and speeding his way through the preparation that I sometimes couldn't help but stand back and admire the sight.

He looked really beautiful when he was just busying himself with something he loved. It was really cute the way his bottom lip stuck out when he concentrated on mixing in the butter with the flour with his hands.

"So is the oven preheating?"

I nodded.

"It doesn't feel warm."

I looked at it.

"But it's red?" I pointed out.

"What did you set it to?" Before I could look he started laughing. "You just switched the light on!"

"There's an oven light?" I was so confused.

He snorted and dissolved into little bouts of giggling. "For someone like me you really don't know how to cook."

"Like you?"

Before I had time to get annoyed he interrupted, "Someone who likes to eat."

I nodded, pretending that I didn't know what he really meant by that. "I used to cook a lot actually. Me and a bunch of other girls. When I was younger I would get stuck in a kitchen with the other girls."

"Were all of them girls?"

"I nodded. They thought that since I was submissive and they were female they should be in the kitchen or around the house doing chores."

"So what did the rest of the pack do?"

"Went on trips, went out hunting, exercising, in general playing."

"Oh so Castus is a spoiled wolfie?"

I grinned. "A very spoiled wolfie."

"How come you don't know how to use the oven then?"

"I got banned from the oven." I grinned.

He stared at me before laughing heartily. "Why! How do you get banned from using the oven?!"

"I was told to put a frozen pizza in the oven so I did. One of the girls showed me how the knobs worked and then I shoved it in and closed it."

"And it what? Exploded? Burned?"

"Burned and practically exploded."

"No! How?!"

"I didn't put it on a baking tray, it was just sitting on one of those grid things so once it went soft bits of it all just fell to the bottom and caught fire."

He was practically crying as he laughed. Adorable.

"They tried to make me scratch it out but I kept burning myself so they had to go in there and scratch all the little bits out and it left a permanent stain on the oven. My parents were so mad. We called it the pizza incident, not very imaginative but it still cracked us up."

He grinned, and then his smile faltered. "What exactly happened with your parents?"

I shrugged. "All I know is that when I was applying for a new school they helped."

"They went there with you?"

I shook my head. "They sent emails, excuses why they couldn't be there."

"So they wouldn't get in trouble."

"Probably."

He started squashing the cookie dough balls a little and placed them all neatly on the baking paper. There was one left that wouldn't have fit in properly, or not for someone with minor OCD. He picked it up and put it on a saucer.

Then he turned to me.

"You're happy to be here right?"

I stared at him. I pursed my lips.

"But you have a family."

"This is not my pack."

"You don't have a pack." He reminded me.

"That changes nothing."

He got closer, even though he was a couple inches taller his wide eyes made him always look like he was looking up at me.

"You don't need to be a part of our pack, you're already a part of our family."

I can't describe the warmth that cascaded me when he said that, the strange emotion welling in my belly. Some sort of need consumed and dissolved. He was so sweet.

I wanted to hug him but I settled with a thank you.

He got closer and just stared into my eyes.

My vision quickly narrowed to his lips and he tilted his head downward.

If I met his lips right now what would they taste like? Would I hate it? Would I be repulsed? Would I shove him off me or just freeze. At this point he was just a hairs breadth away and I had yet to move.