Becoming Queen

Aurelia

We spent the next hours talking over so many things. Our small council was informal, the way I liked it to be done. So many things needed to be addressed. One fight had been won; but now the real war would begin. Saira's brother had to be stopped, somehow.

The city was ravaged, by me and my aunt. Time and fire had done its work well. The building had been heavily damaged. Those near the wall of the castle were beyond repair. I asked Lyanna to send letters to any friends or business-folk nearby that could send us help.

I needed soldiers, weapons, amour - I needed to gather a large force, fast. That in its self was a large task that seemed impossible. The people needed help with the injured, many were left with burns or other injuries from the fight. We were weak right now. We needed the time to heal. I thought that long term there was no point to putting too much work and resource into rebuilding. Who knew what would be left of us and the land after this war.

The citizens needed to build up safe places for all to stay, that was true. Most of all we needed food. We would die of starvation before we could train any small army we could gather. Lyanna said she would handle it; the letters would be sent first thing in the morning. I didn’t ask who they would be sent to, I only cared about who would answer in the next days.

I sent word to the stables that we would be leaving soon to gather the children that I had left safely behind. I hoped Miranda had kept the kids all safe, and that they were still there. I would go with Saira and Kairios. I asked for simple ridding gear and my sword to be brought to me. I changed quickly behind a screen with Saira and braided each other’s hair back.

We left the castle to find some small wagons arranged in the wreckage of the court yard, and some bread and blankets were loaded into each of them. Scorch was saddled and ready next to Blackfire and Star. Excitement washed through me at seeing her again. I couldn’t wait to sleep after this; my body was still aching from all it had been through the last few days.

Our little caravan moved slowly through the city. The streets were filled with the survivors and the many who flocked back to the city. They all showed appreciation and lowered their heads in one way or another. It felt odd to be seen by them for who I really was, who I was born to be.

The gates were open and had a steady flow of people coming in, guards stood spaced out along the entry talking to each and every person who came in. “We are keeping track of who is coming in. I want an accurate count of how many we have living in the city.”

Jaxson had gotten a lot of work done in the hours that we had taken over.

The ride to the children was quick. All I had to do was whisper to Scorch to run freely and we were flying down the dirt road. Blackfire and Star followed and we ran together, free to do as we pleased. I was filled with such emotion that I couldn’t help the tear that escaped my damaged eye. This was the freedom I wanted.

Miranda was outside the door watching, the sound of our horses' hooves alerting her. I pulled on the reins and Scorch slowed, then stopped a few feet away from the child. She stood her ground with her fists balled up at her sides and her stubborn chin held high. I jumped down and took a step towards her. I was so happy to see her again I just stood in silence for a moment.

“I told you I would come back.” I said softly to her. A smile on my lips.

She was shaking head to toe, at war with herself. I could tell she wanted to be strong, a little warrior at heart. But she was still a child, one who had too many responsibilities for her age. The door broke open and the other children had flooded out, they were all happy to see me back. They all circled around me jumping up and down. Things moved fast from there, the children ran to the wagons and climbed in.

I watched as Saira grabbed some of the bread loafs and walked over to them. She handed the bread to those who weren't afraid of her silver eyes, many of them ran from her to hide where ever they could. The little girl that had no name was clinging to my leg. When I made to move, she simply wrapped her legs around mine and held on tighter. I suppressed a laugh and placed my hand on the back of her little head.

“They will trust you in time. They have been through so much.” I turned from her and shouted to the group gathered. “Let’s get moving!”

The children loaded into the wagons quickly, they were excited to get to the city. I put the little girl in the wagon where she sat next to a small boy and they shared a loaf of bread. Miranda was walking around the wagons making sure no one was left behind.

“Do you want to ride back with me?” I didn’t think Scorch would mind the added weight.

She hesitated before saying “Okay.” We walked over together and I made a cup out of my hands for her to step up.

“Just grab the horn there and step in my hand. When you're up, swing your leg over.”

She did so perfectly and sat atop Scorch with a wonderous smile on her face. I swung up behind her and took the reins in my hands. We took off back to the city at a slow pace. The children chatted loudly about the horses while Saira and Kairios rode on either side of the wagons.

“Shall we go for a run?” I didn’t want to frighten her but I was aching to run freely again.

She shook her head as a yes. I lightly pressed my legs into the sides of Scorch and she took off. The wind brushed through both of our hair and I smiled at the way she pressed back into me and held tightly to the horn between her legs.

“This is amazing!” She screamed.

“One day I'll take you flying, if you’d like that.” I realized I was excited to spend the time with her.

We didn’t speak anymore and enjoyed the ride back to the city. We waited at the gates for the others to catch up. I taught her how to ride on her own and saw that she was a natural. Scorch was impressive as well and was gentle and listened to every instruction. She would have to get a reward later. We talked about her past a bit, she had grown up much like I had, years spent locked away...

The others arrived after a while and we all entered the city together. I had told the children I would take care of them and the only home I had available to them was the castle. It was large enough that there would be rooms to spare.

Hours later, the sun was getting low and the children were all fast asleep, safe and warm in soft beds and bellies full. I couldn’t help the smile I had from the sight of them all curled up together. Saira had gone into the city with a guard to see if she could heal any of those who would allow it. Kairios had stayed by my side through the whole day, supporting me where I needed him.

There was one other small thing that I could get done tonight. “Jaxson, I destroyed your home, please stay at the castle with us?” I would rebuild his home one day, but until then this was all I could offer.

“Thank you, my Queen.”

“It will make it easier for us all, with all the work we will have to face, to be under the same roof. Please stay as well Lyanna. There are more than enough rooms in this place.”

I didn’t add that I was afraid to leave these halls empty. They needed to be filled with those who fought to better this kingdom. In the morning the children would fill them with laughter and it would be a new day for us all.

The day had been long and I felt good over what was accomplished today. We could deal with more in the morning, for now we needed to rest. Kairios and I were left alone at last, we walked the halls together, hand in hand.

“Will you stay with me tonight?” I would wait on his terms, after what I had done. It was only fair.

I didn’t want to feel bad for it all. I had thought he was dead and Galorian; well, he had healed me in many ways. Ones that I didn’t know I needed.

“I haven't claimed another room yet. I wanted to stay with you, as it should be.” He stopped walking and took me in his arms. I rested my hands and my cheek against his strong chest.

“I was afraid while you were gone. Afraid of what had happened. Afraid of where you were. I knew you were with him. Part of me didn’t know if you would come back.”

The truth. He was giving me his truth.

“I wasn’t sure if I would at first. All I could think of was how I failed. That I killed you, and my mother.” Tears swam in my eyes and I had to take a moment to breath so I could continue.

“I was ashamed. I wanted to run away from it. He would have let me, told me how it could be. I had to come back though, because of what I had done. I had to right the wrongs I had committed. Not the ones forced on me. I was not ready to be a queen.”

My truth, I owed him that. Wanted to share it with him.

“I am a monster on the inside. All that has been done to me. All that I have faced. The things I have done. There’s a darkness now. And I like it.”

“I don’t see a monster; I see the woman I love.”

He gave me a soft kiss on the forehead and we walked to my bedroom. I climbed into the soft sheets and he followed behind me. His arms were warm was they wrapped around me and held me close. I traced the lines of the new scars on his one arms. Thanks to me they would remain there forever.

I slept deeply. Since accepting the darkness, I hadn't had a nightmare like I had before. There were still things like a burning house or a screaming woman that flashed through my dreams. The pain I had caused would haunt me forever.