Becoming more

Aurelia

The dock had gone quiet around us. Kairios looked at me with shock in his eyes. I stared him down and watched that shock turn to pain then anger.

“We need every hand we can get. You would send protection for me away because of your jealousy?” My voice lower.

“I will protect you.” His voice strained.

“You will. I know you will. You also have an army to lead. As strong as you are, doing both is impossible.”

He walked away from me. I couldn’t tell if he saw the truth in what I said. He would get himself killed if he tried to do too much. I wouldn’t allow that. I would weather his anger. I turned back to Mana, who lingered near with a hand on the sword at his side.

“He sent you. What else did he send?”

Mana smiled at me, his teeth bright white under his wonderous dark skin. Along his waist near where his sword was strapped on, was a small pouch. His animal print wrappings were different from the last time I had seen him. He pulled out a small letter and handed it to me.

I took it and recognized the paper and writing that had been on his desk. I could swear that his scent was still on it. Flashes of our time together flickered through my mind. “Is he near?” My voice was shaking. I took a deep breath to right myself.

“Yes.” He spoke better than Galorian had led me to believe.

I turned and walked over to where Jaxson was talking with the captain, I still didn’t know his name yet and quietly cursed myself for getting distracted. “Sorry for that.” I simply said. What else could I say?

They filled me in on what had been decided. The men on the ship had places to stay. Jaxson handed me the roster and as they chatted about the trip here, I grew more and more winded by what he supplied. He had sent limited portions of everything we needed, with a promise to send more.

Grains for bread, cloth for clothing, barrels and barrels of root vegetables. And what I found most important was men and weapons. Three hundred well trained men. All ordered to follow my every command.

“Captain.” I said. “Will you join us for dinner tonight?”

“It would be an honor.”

The dock suddenly seemed crowded with workers unloading. I walked towards Saira and looped my arm through hers. She had been very quiet through all of this. “What are you thinking?” I asked her.

“I don’t know what to think. Kairios is pissed. Did you see his face when he walked away?”

“Yes, I saw.” I sighed heavily. “He can be pissed all he wants. We need this help. Mana wasn't a part of my affair. Why should I send him away?”

“Yes, that’s true. I just feel bad for him. When we get back to the castle later, I need to talk to you about something.” Her voice was hesitant and quiet.

“Let's go back now.” I didn’t want to wait. She was bothered by what she had to say.

“Read that letter first. Then we can talk.”

The paper was suddenly very heavy in my hand. We walked back to the castle together with our arms linked. She told me about the healing houses and the things that people told her while there. The demons that were ravaging the mountain towns were getting worse by the day. We both agreed that we were running out of time and would have to be on the road soon.

“With the help of these men, our training will go faster.” She nodded in agreement.

Other things needed to be organized sooner than later now. How would we transport all the things we would need? Would they all have shelter on the road? What would we do to feed every one? These things needed to be answered before leaving.

And what about the city? Who would protect the ones that had to stay behind? They had to be addressed and orders given. I already knew that I wanted Jaxson to stay behind with Lyanna. They would be the ones best to repair this Kingdom while I bled for its future.

We got back to the castle not long after that. The letter had begun to burn in my hand. I thought Kairios would be in our room, but it was empty. I told Mana to stay outside and no one was to enter or disturb me unless it was Kairios. He nodded his head and took up his guard. Alone at last I looked at the letter.

It did smell like him; it hadn't been my imagination. It was folded so small the words inside impossible to see. The only writing that could be seen was my name on the front. I still didn’t know if I wanted to curse or thank him for what he had done for us. When I unfolded it, a small simple ring that was designed to match the feather that he always wore fell into my hand.

The letter read,

“My burning beauty. My love and support are yours to command. If life at sea is not what you desire, then life on land is what we shall have. I will follow your wishes and stay away. Mana will keep you safe in my place. When you are ready for me, have him send word. Until that time comes, I will burn for you. Thoughts of our love making the only balm to the heat I feel. Do you burn with me?

Let me walk through the flames with you. Call me back to your side.”

He signed the bottom the same as I had, an elegant G at the bottom.

Do you burn with me? I read that line over and over again. I placed the ring on my little finger. It was the perfect fit and amazingly small. How it was crafted I had no idea. I looked over the writing once more, breathed in the scent of it. Then threw it in the fire. I watched it burn to ash.

Do you burn with me?

…

Saira

I had waited and waited. Found every reason I could to not tell anyone what I had done. What I had become. I threw myself into the healing of everyone that I crossed. Tried to make up for the life I had taken. Massell had wronged me, betrayed Aurelia and caused the death of her mother. While the world was better off and safer with him gone, guilt riddled me day and night.

It was time to tell someone. It had to be her. I trusted her the most and I knew that she would forgive me, still love me. There was more that I had to tell her. What I had seen in the dream. What I could now sense to be true. How she didn’t know... to many things on her mind to see.

She had been in her room for a while now. She had not come out after she had read the letter. And kairios had yet to return to the castle. I waited as long as I could. She had invited the captain to dinner tonight. We needed to talk before then.

I waited outside her room; Mana stood at the door. He was still as stone but his eyes tracked every movement in the hall. We didn’t talk. His presence was intimidating to me. After what felt like an eternity she came out. She wore the same dress as before, the only change was the makeup that she put around her red, swollen eyes.

“Come in?” She asked when she spotted me waiting by the window.

I followed her in; Mana remained outside.

“What did the letter say?”

“That he wants me to call him back to my side.”

“Will you?”

She hesitated and that was answer enough for me. “You want to but you won't.”

“What did you want to tell me?” She deflected the statement.

“You should stop the search for Massell.” I had to come clean, the only way to heal my soul. “He is dead.”

She sat down and looked at me with the softest eyes. Even her scared eye showed love for me. I sat next to her and the whole story spilled out of me. How my feelings had grown, the beating, what it had done to me to be betrayed by a man I thought I loved. I cried while I told her that I killed him. How it had made me feel safe.

“Good.” Was all she said.

I took a moment to calm myself. “There's more.”

She put a hand over mine. I noticed the small ring on her little finger. It was a beautiful feather; I had not noticed it before. Was it from him?

“I had a vision. I have verified it to be true.” I looked her in the eyes and said the words I had been hiding from her. “You’re with child.”

Her hand began to tremble and her eyes grew wider. She opened her mouth to say something, then closed it again.

“You have been for a while. Before you left, you were always so tired, at the time I thought it was boredom. Now I know it to be thanks to the pregnancy. Over the weeks here, I have watched you; I can sense the life growing. Can you not sense it?”

She stood up and walked to the fire. Her face was pale as she took in what I had told her. A child, Kairios’ child grew within her. I could see from this angle the little swelling of her belly. Her hand slowly drifted over it and the other came to follow. She stood there holding the small swelling for a long time, I didn’t want to disrupt her.

A knock at the door and Kairios walked in. He took one look at her, then to me where I was sitting. “What's the matter?” He demanded as he walked to her, forgetting the anger he had for her on the dock earlier.

“I should leave.” I said standing.

“No.” Aurelia said.” Please stay.

I moved back to my seat from before. She looked to him and placed a hand on both of his arms. “I am with child, your child.” She said with a smile on her face. The first indication of what she felt about the news.

He wrapped his hands around her, pulled her into a hug. “A child...” He whispered into her hair.

He then looked up at me and said “What about the war?”

We all sobered at the thought of Aurelia in battle, heavy with child. There was no question. She would not be able to fight until the child was born. I watched as Aurela straightened her back and placed a hand over her belly and one on Kairios’ chest.

“I need you to find a spell to speed the pregnancy. The child has to be born within days. Not months.”