Broken

Aurelia
The battle seemed to last well into the late afternoon. Each kill I made, they all flashed the same face as Fairor. I couldn’t stop, I had to kill them all. If they crossed my path then they would fall to my sword. Saira was with me, healing or killing as she went. Her silver crystal healed those of our army and her crystal ball took the lives of those of the enemy.
Through it all, I never crossed Kairios. As far as I knew he did not know about his brother. I wanted to hide it from him. To lie about what happened. I couldn’t. I accepted my darkness, I didn’t hide in it in shame. He had tried to kill me. Kairios would have to deal with it. I wondered if my relationship with him was doomed. If it was meant to be this way the whole time?
Mana found me first and I told him what I had done. As I had suspected he sided with me and consoled the fears I shared with him.
“He tried to kill you. Should you have let him? Is the life of an errant brother worth more than the queen he tried to kill?”
“I guess that would depend on who you were asking. Me, a stranger or his mother. At the end of the day I silenced him in cold blood.”
“You killed him in battle, queens such as you do what they must, as you have said. I know that you don’t want this, or for him to know. But when he spurns you, say the words. Call the captain. Free yourself.” He walked from me in that moment, like I would to not allow the other person to say something stupid or annoying.
“Bastard.” I whispered to myself.
There was nothing left to do but find my captain and king. I looked and looked for him. It took so long to find him that I began to worry if he had perished in the fight. What words did Mana mean? He always mentioned them but I never remembered to ask him. The fools, all of them.
I found Saira hard at work in a small open area. The injured seemed to be piled up. Maids tended to the lesser of the wounds and Saira jumped from mortal wound to mortal wound, keeping as many from death as she could. I walked and saw the young general laying on the ground, surrounded in a puddle of his own blood.
“Thank you.” I said to him as knelt next to him and took his hand in my own. I hated him sure but no one who fought for my kingdom should die alone. Not while I was there and able to hold his hand.
“You will ruin us.” He sputtered out between coughs of blood and bile.
“You were already ruined. Now I will fix the mess you allowed to be made.” He died with wide eyes.
I let his limp hand come to rest on his chest, gently as I could, harsh words, but those of the truth. I continued on through the wounded. There were more then I wanted to admit. How would we stand up to demons if we couldn’t stand up to men and boys. What was the lesson here? What had I done wrong? I kept walking, hoping that I would find Kairios one way or the other.
When I found him, where I had found him, was exactly where I hadn’t wanted him to go yet. His brother had been moved from the dirt to a low cot. Kairios sat on the ground next to him. I didn’t try to hide my approach. I wanted him to know that I was coming towards him. His face was white and blank or emotion.
“Kairios.” I said softly when he didn’t respond to my approach.
He looked up at me with red ringed eyes. “Why? Why was he here?” His voice cracked on the last word.
What do I say? The pain on his face had me at a loss for words. I walked around and came to sit next to him. I didn’t look at the body. “I don’t know why he was here. You knew him better than any of us. I remember his as a trouble maker. Why do you think he was here?”
“I don’t know… I need to find who killed him.”
“What will you do?” Just tell him I demanded of myself.
“Justice.” He growled.
“You know that no justice can be taken for those slain in battle. There would never be peace if every survivor sought justice for the deaths of his loved ones.” It was the truth, and one of the first lessons he ever gave when he found me all that time ago.
“I need to know!” He shouted at me.
I widened my eyes at the surprise of his out burst. I knew what he needed to know. I had to tell him now. I readied myself for what he would do. My body was tense and my mouth was dry.
“I did it. I was the one who killed him, after he first tried to kill me.”
The words seemed to sink in slow. He didn’t move for a while, only looked at the face of his dead brother. Then so quietly that I at first thought it was my imagination.
“You… killed… my… brother…”
“He attacked us, threw a spear at Saira and I. the spear is still there on the ground!” I said while pointing at the open flaps of my tent.
He looked up at me for a moment, than back down at his brother. He had placed a piece of cloth over the wound my sword left on his neck. When he pulled it back, part of it had started to dry to the blood. The sound it made disgusted me.
“You did this?” He asked again.
“Yes.” I worked hard to stay calm.
“I…” His face looked like its own battle ground, warring with himself on what to say or to do. “I hate you!”
He was suddenly standing over me, shouting down at me. He moved so quickly that I barely had time to react myself.
“I hate you for killing my brother, for leaving my body scared like this and for cheating on me.”
“Kairios, I”
“No! no more talking from you!”
Fine, no more talking, fine then. I stood up and went face to face with him. I looked at him with all the hate and anger I felt. I had cheated on him that was my fault, even though I thought he was dead, I went to bed with another. His scars were my fault. I should have had better control of my power, no one was ever around to teach me about the heat of change.
But this, this was not my fault. Fairior made the choice. He joined this band of bastards, he made the choice to join the attack. He had to of known who led this army. Had to of known who I was before he threw that spear. I had protected myslef and my friend. There was nothing that I could be blamed for, in my eyes at least.
“Say what you will and think as darkly of me as your mind can. Until this war is done we don’t have the luxury of these kinds of fights. You are a general. This army needs you. I will stay away from you and only speak to you in regards to this war, if that is what you want.”
“Death follows you.” He said and turned away. He went back to work saying his goodbye to his brother. There was nothing left for me to say or do here so I turned and walked away
“Call your pirate back, I know that’s what the ring is for. Call him back and leave me be.”
For a moment I just stood there, I didn’t know what to say. He had never mentioned the ring on my little finger, I had known he had seen it. He was to observant to not see it.
“I am sorry.” It was all that I could say in that moment. I turned from him and walked, to where I had no idea.
Pain swirled in my heart at the dismissal from him. Our relationship was now broken. I had no choice, I didn’t know who threw that spear until after. Saira had been there, we had done it together, though I wouldn’t bring her into this. I walked and walked.
Finally I found myself waking between the dead or dyeing. It stunk of dry blood and shit. This was where I belonged. I found a large stone and sat on it. Around me at the my feet were the bodies of the attackers. It appeared that my men put them here. I took the time to really look at them now. The ages were a mix.
Young and old. Rich and poor. They had all banded together, but what was their goal. They were of this kingdom, that I was sure of. Then why attack their own home lands? Kill there fellows? What was their goal? Maybe they didn’t have one and just waned to spread terror and blood. They had succeeded. My lands were full of it.
Again my mind drifted to burning it all down. The idea of it seemed easier than this. The temptation was as real as the fire that was starting to build in my chest. They could all be set free of this life. Cleansed by fire. But then the faces of my babies flashed and all thoughts of fire died.
Inigo and Vesta. They were why I needed to heal these lands. They would have the peace that I had never known. I got up from my sad rock and waked a little more. This time my thoughts were about winning. This battle had been an eye opener. We would lose to the demons of the warlock lands. We needed more.
The group of survivors had been huddled together in a makeshift wooden coral. “Do you wish for freedom?” I asked them as I walked around it a few times. Some of them I could tell would die first, and so they would, as examples. Each town we crossed I would personally execute them as an example.
“Those of you who are willing to live and fight for these lands will be offered clemency. Join us in the war against the warlocks and earn your place here.”
The guards were looking at me with a curious expression. “If they claim to join us then set them free. We will train and test them on the road. Two days, that’s all we can give to stay here.”
There wasn’t much left for me to do now but find something to eat. I had been a long day and from the looks of the sun, we still had a long way to go before nightfall. Saira was busy, but stopped long enough to hear my story about Kairios and what he had said.
“What will you do?”
“I will keep fighting. That’s all I can do. Calling Galorian to my side will bring more men. We need every hand we can get.”
“Yes, that’s true. Do you think, maybe I should talk to Kairios?”
“If you must, but I would wait. And don’t tell him about your throwing knives. He should only be mad at me, not the both of us.”
I continued to walk around the camp. Talking to guards, congratulating the survivors. Helping where I could. As I worked I realized what the words were to call Galorian were.