Chapter 48 Lay Waste To A Memory

She just rejected me; again.
So with the ache deep in my heart, kicking my own fucking ass for falling all over, I find myself wandering to the kitchen to get a bottle of whiskey to settle in with tonight. Guess being rejected twice does bring the clarity to a man that he should be feeling defeated by now.
So yes, I am defeated and rejected.
Why did I have to be so fucking stupid?
But fucking stupid is me next to answer the door as someone starts to persistently buzz at it. As I swing it open, my heart misses a near damn beat as I see her standing in front of me.
'Princess."
"Don't get too excited Colton, I forgot my phone in your room."
She immediately walks past me, as she brushes past me, I gently pull her arm closer, "Please just hear me out.." I slowly draw her to the lounge and sit her door on the couch next to me. "Princess, I love you."
I am on my next to my princess, declaring a love that I know is beyond compare. Yes, I do know that we are only but very new in our relationship, but there is nothing that ever felt so right. I think I will simply fall into an abyss if she rejects me again. Her hesitation, however brief it is, is going to give me the answer to the question that I so desperately seek. I can simply not bear to think about what I will do if she rejects me again.
"Colton, I can," the words, the very last words that I expected to hear, the very words that form over her deep cherry lips simply knock me over the edge. I can stand for her to be mad at me, but I thought we were ready. I thought our relationship was ready. I thought that if I do this that everything will be fine.
Yet, "I don t understand princess?"
"It was a mistake, Colton."
The mere words cut me deeper than a thousand knives. I ruined what was sacred; all because I cannot control my temper, but yet, I cannot stand being betrayed. So does this justify me being on my knees in front of her giving her my entire heart and soul? What a silly thing to even consider, yes it does. But I am being rejected and it kills me. The only peace my heart shall have is that we will still remain together and things can go back to the best normal that we can be.
"Princess, please."
She immediately cuts me off before I can say yet another word. The determination is in her eyes, she is sure of this than she has ever been in her life before. She has, and I would love to believe so, but she has given this some great thought and nothing that I am about to say is going to make her feel any other way.
Before I can get a hold of what my anger brings over me, I burst out at her, "Get out! I want you out of my house! You are right, this was a mistake."
…Trinity POV…
Never did I think that Colton shall treat me in such a way. My temper so wants to boil out of control. My anger has now reached its peak, how can he think that proposing to me is going to make anything better. I cannot believe the words that are coming from his mouth.
This stings my heart beyond belief, being rejected by the man you love. He shall not see my tears; he shall not have the satisfaction of seeing me break down. Yes, I have done this so many times, but god, this hurts hard. It cuts deeper than a thousand knives. And to they cut deep. Rejection by the one that you love with all your heart and soul is a death sentence. Did I ever see such rejection be done upon me? Never in all my years did I once foresee that I shall ever hurt so much.
And as for this Colton, the mere sight of it brings a new burn to my core. It burns a hole through my heart just having to face a man that I have given my all to. I want him to be gone; I want every trace of him to be removed from my life, from my existence. I shall not stand for been treated like this when we find ourselves in a soul-bonding union. He is my only true love right now, but as for the immediate future, he does not exist.
Once he has gotten out of my way, I make my way out of the room. As I reach for the door, I see him following shortly behind. I can see the fury in his eyes and I know that he is about to lose control. I wish I could say that it is because he loves me, when in fact it does, but it is not helping the both of us at all. So I snap my head away from his sight and continue to go out of the door. The simple sight of him breaks my heart all over again, the rejection cuts deep.
…Colton POV…
As she makes her way out the room, the tears that have been threatening to consume my eyes and edge their way down my face come rolling with such great force. The raging anger that is suffocating every corner of my body lets loose like a beast. As far as my feet take me into the room, every single object that finds itself in my path shatters in pure brute force against the wall. The very place that we made love not so long ago, the very lingerie that she wore the first time we met is ripped to shreds until there is nothing but small pieces of fabric scattered over the floor. The chair she sat on where she so elegantly put those red stilettos on, finds its way through the room, There is glass shattering into fragments of nothing. I ram my fist with a hatred so raw in the mirror where she watched her reflection, hundreds of pieces cutting at the skin of my hand.
I lay complete destruction to everything that is and was a part of her until I can say that for now, for this minute, I shall be rid of any thought of her. And when she returns into the passages of my memories, I shall do it again and again until every trace of her has been taken from my life. I am angry, I am furious. She takes herself away from me.
But this thought only but exists for a few moments, and she finds her way back into the very place I do not want her to be, she is in my head, and I want her out.
But then for a brief moment, she is at the front door again, my heart skips a beat in total happiness. Has she come to her senses after all? Is she here to help me make right what I have wronged?
So as she scans over the destruction that I have caused, I can only see the disappointment in her eyes. I know that once again I have proven to her that I am not the type of man she wants in her life. I am the man that has thrown her from her home. But can she not see that love is what drives me and it is love that is tearing me apart. I need her, without her, I am nothing but a shell of a man. But she obviously does not seem to care. But yet I still believe and I still hope.
And as she walks up to me, I think for one brief moment that this is it, she is coming back into my arms, but I am sorely mistaken, "You can wipe that excited look off your face, I still forgot the fucking phone."
Her very words sting worse than any prick of a needle that is shoved into your heart. I want to believe that she is only furious and these are the words of a woman that is mad. Yet I know that is not true.
So as for what will be the final time, she exits the room, and with the greatest of force, she slams the door so hard that it vibrates against the mirrors that are left on the wall.
Ya, throw a tantrum Miss Stone, I am done.