Chapter 71 Not How It Is Supposed To Work

I am busy dying, a slow, tortured death. It feels as if the world has just dropped off, and it is completely spinning out of control. My ability to breathe has long gone from me. I have hands that are shaking and a heart that is pounding. There are these goddamn butterflies. My entire body has lost the will to function the way it should.
Fuck. What am I doing?
Though I do not give myself much time to think about it, for Trinity is about to walk out the door. If ever there is a time that I do this, then it must be now. So with a rather trembling ass, I call back for her.
"Princess, I want to ask you something."
She immediately looks in my direction, but before words can form around her lips, I am in front of her.
I slowly drop to my knee in front of her and meet her eyes; with a bleeding heart, I reach for her hand and pray that she will allow me in. Then, as she gently rests her hand in mine, I say what I desired to say since all this madness started.
I swallow hard and try to form the softest words from my mouth, but I can barely move.
"Princess, I love you. Please, would you marry me?"
Her body freezes, and I feel as her hand starts to tremble with mine. It is the longest minute of my life as I wait for her to speak.
"Colton, I don t know…"
She steps two steps back, still firmly holding onto my hand, then she speaks again.
"Colton, you know that we are not supposed to be together."
I, immediately beyond my control, snap back at her, "Who says that? Your father?"
"Yes, you know how it works."
Hesitating for only a few seconds, I contemplate if I should tell her about my conversation with her father. So with confidence, I decide that I have to, "I have already spoken to you, dad."
"What?" She raises her voice as it echoes through the house, "You went behind my back and asked my father? That is not how it is supposed to work."
"Princess," I start to explain, "It is the only way that we can be together."
"Is that the only reason why you want to marry me?"
"No. I love you. I want to marry you because I love you."
"Colton, you have not thought this through."
"Princess, I know what I am doing. We belong together."
I can see the anger grow, and I know that I have really upset her now. And then she snaps completely at me, "I don't belong to you, Colton."
"Well, I belong to you, princess, so I guess we have a little problem."
She only shakes her head as she pulls away from me, "I don't even know what to do with you if I had you."
"At least just take me and figure it out later."
"Colton, I don t know if I am ready to get married."
"I am not forcing you to be ready, princess."
"Then, what then?"
"You have a piece of me; I want you to hold onto it until you know what you want to do with it."
…Trinity POV…
I cannot believe this. I think I am about to faint.
So I step out onto the balcony; the cool air does nothing to soothe the irritation that is burning through my skin. Colton comes to stand next to me, his damn body that makes my knees stumble over my feet every time I see it. That sculpted chest seems that it has grown an inch harder since the last time that I saw him. I can barely fight the urge to reach out and drag my nails over his rippled abs.
Then beyond what even seems fast enough, he is into every inch of my body. His naked skin drives me to complete agony, and I so want him to rest those hands that he has pinned me down with on my waist.
Before I can even possibly think of saying a word, he pulls me even closer. He runs the edges of his lips softly against my cheek. I feel them tremble as he softly whimpers.
"Princess, I love you."
My body freezes in an instant. I so desperately want to give in. I feel as he moves his lips, breath by breath, closer to mine. We are so close that we could almost breathe the same breath. He looks down at my lips and backs up; before our eyes can meet, I close mine shut and pray that he will not ask again.
He cups my cheek in his hand, and I feel the heat rise under them as they slowly turn red. This man has me like jelly in his hands. As I open my eyes once again, I see him smile as he slowly leans into me. His hand is shaking slightly. Then he claims my lips; he merely rests his against mine.
But then he speaks.
"Please, will you marry me?"
I gasp and slowly open my eyes, "Colton, I cant."
He drops his head, somewhat defeated, and I know that I have just knocked him hard and hurt his feelings. With that, he leaves the balcony in a rather rejected mood, I know, and I pray, but god, he is going to be pissed off. The instant he disappears behind the curtains, I hear a loud bang as he smashes his fist into the wall.
I slowly step out and turn to face him where he is sitting on the corner of the bed. He does not acknowledge me as I turn around and leave. With the front door shut behind me, "What the fuck have I done?"
…Colton POV…
She just rejected me.
Ya, it fucking hurts.
So yes, I am defeated and rejected and very close enough to give up. It stings; it damn well hurts. Why did I have to be so fucking stupid?
So next, I find myself walking out the door to find the much-needed breath that I need. It has become suffocating in there; I feel I cannot breathe as the hurt is taking control of my heart.
What a fool I have made of myself tonight. Ya, those butterflies I felt are dying as I play her rejection over in my head. I was so damn sure that she would say yes. I was so consumed by the feeling that I had to be with her, I thought it was the only way. Now she will never speak to me again, not even to mention that it was the last time that I saw her walking away from me.
There was so much desperation in me; I was ready to crawl. I was near damn close to pleading for something that I so badly want. Does she not feel this way about me? I thought I could see it in her eyes, but if I think of it now, they did seem cold. ?
?I was fucking crazy.
But she needs to understand that I cannot lose her. I will give up everything if I have to for her. Since I met her, my life has not been the same. Can she not see that she has changed me in a good way. I cannot; in fact, I know that it is near damn impossible to be without her. I need her more than she will ever know. Can she just not give us this chance?
With that, the flood of emotions comes streaming but into the anguish of my mind, and as what I have learned, that whiskey does numb the pain and the memory. Well, that is if you consume it at a constant pace. But as I throw the shot to the back of my throat, I see her beautiful smile play in my mind. That smile is only meant for me.
What makes this even beyond understanding is that she is supposed to be with me. But then, yet again, she does not want to be with me. I need to remind myself that I need to play that damn image over and over in pain that she rejected me.
So, here I am in absolute agony.
Fuck.
I could have done this better. I went about it the wrong way. The fact now is that the damage has been done. The question now is, how do I intend to fix this?
Fuck this.
I take my bottle of whiskey and make my way back into the house. So as I step through the door, I fall back into the black leather chair. A wave of immediate anger sets over me; I need to stop this. I cannot obsess over a woman that clearly does want nothing to do with me. I shake my head to rid myself of these thoughts.
Perhaps she just does not want to get married, but I cannot see how we can have a relationship without her goddamn father wanting to kill me.
And just as I am about to throw another shot of whiskey, my phone lights up. Well, the fucking sun is not even up, and ya, Vic Stone is phoning. He said an hour; the man has no sense of time. I have only been waiting for three hours.
So with my highly irritated ass and somewhat drunk one too, I swipe up, "Vic."
"Colton."
"Well?"