.46. I will do anything, I promise.

"For how long has he been out?" Kaiden paced the room, asking different questions to Camilla time by time. The young male didn't want to spend more time in silence, but the woman that was supposed to become his Luna stared at the wall blankly. Camilla didn't speak to anyone, even the warrior male, for a couple of days. She ran back to Zane's bedroom as soon as she understood that none of the doctors permitted him to leave the hospital. That's when she found her mate on the floor, pale as a Vampire, bleeding out on the white carpet.

"Sorry, I have somewhere to be," Camilla whispered. She stood up and walked away, looking straight forward, avoiding anyone who tried to talk to her. Kaiden knew that he had to run after her, but it was better if the person could have some privacy. Camilla was a strong woman; she had proven that fact many times, so nobody felt alerted whenever she left. The pack's main focus was on Zane- the young Alpha had to stay in the hospital for longer than supposed, and since he and Camilla didn't fully mate- she couldn't take over his responsibilities. If Zane wouldn't wake up, his mate couldn't lead the pack without him around. Everyone would lose both their Alpha and Luna.

The young woman rushed towards the kitchen, one thought on her mind. As soon as Camilla ran through the door- everyone left. The last couple of days have been worse than the times of intense heat season, especially since everyone feared their Luna. Most of the pack members have heard about Camilla's wolf, so servants wouldn’t dare as much as to look her way. Most pack members avoided the Alpha's house, knowing that Zane's mate was close to breakdown, meaning- she could shift and tear the pack apart in a moment of grieving. Camilla might lie and tell everyone that she didn't feel anything for Zane, but she did. No matter how hard she tried to hide her feelings- she couldn't hide them from herself.

The young woman opened doors to all cabinets, looking for any cleaning solutions around the kitchen. When the previous Alpha and Luna lived in the house, they used to keep the bottles of different liquids under their sink, and thankfully, Camilla found all she needed there. Next, she grabbed a bucket and filled it with water, impatiently tapping on the kitchen counter. No one was allowed to enter Zane's room; Camilla would keep even his parents and Beta away from there.
Since none of the servants would get inside- nobody was able to clean the carpet. The thought terrified Camilla; it has been days since Zane was brought back to the hospital; Lord knows how long it'll take for her to get rid of everything. Of course, if she spoke to Zane's parents or Kaiden- all of them would suggest getting a new carpet. Camilla wasn't one to choose the easiest way out; besides, she didn't want to change even one thing about the setting- his bedroom had to stay the same as he left it.

Camilla threw the cleaning supplies in a plastic bag and took the bucket, making her way upstairs to Zane's bedroom. She unlocked the door and stepped inside, taking in his fading scent. Without noticing, Camilla's eyes filled with tears- she had many regrets, yet the young woman wasn't sure if she would ever voice them. Sooner or later, she would face Zane, perhaps have to talk, but now it didn't seem necessary.
Her eyes scanned the room carefully- she placed the bucket next to the blood-stained carpet and took in a deep breath. First, she decided to get rid of dust around the bedroom and clean up a little before focusing on the reason for what she went there in the first place. Camilla made his bed, thinking that Zane might need it tonight. It was unlikely to see him entering the room anytime soon, but it didn't mean that she would lose any hope. The young woman hummed a melody of a song her mother used to sing to her before bed. Within a couple of minutes, she finished most of the cleaning- the young Alpha's bathroom was spotless, the same as his bedroom.

Camilla dropped on her knees and opened a cleaning solution bottle- pouring it straight on the stain.

*"Why are you doing this?"* Eden spoke up. The wolf was distant and quiet for a while, crying for her mate to get better. While Camilla had to face everyone, deal with looks of pity and most of the people trying to befriend her- Eden had the luxury of privacy. Kaiden wanted to see his best friend's mate showing off emotions and frustration while everything the young woman needed was some time.

*"Because."* Camilla spat back, trying to show her wolf that she didn't want to talk.

*"Listen, I know that I have been quite absent, but you can't give me the silent treatment. I am a part of you, not those pack members or servants,"* Eden sounded genuinely concerned, a little salty even.

*"Yeah, why don't you start talking about that bullshit of us having only each other, huh? Please, do speak up, Eden. Tell me how you didn't mean to leave me entirely alone; it was only the fact that your mate is in such a bad state, right? Well, guess what? He is my mate as much as he is yours, and now you will attempt to look for some support while you give me none. I needed you for fuck's sake! It's unfair; the whole situation is so damn unfair. I can't wrap my mind around everything that happened! I miss him too!"* Camilla wanted to scream, cry and destroy everything in her way. For as long as Eden kept away from her- the young woman tried to hide her emotions, acting as if she was numb. Now, when the wolf suddenly returned- she felt anger growing in her; Camilla needed a run or someone to destroy.

*"You're not wrong there- for now, both of us have only each other. We don't know what might happen tomorrow, and we could lose him. Then, we will have nothing left but each other. You can ignore me for all I care but remember that everyone needs time on their own. I don't think you should blame me for being distant and brooding. I need to accept that we might lose our mate; both of us have to stay strong. Be real, Camilla, stop lying to yourself! His system is so fucking full of silver and wolfsbane- it will be a miracle if he will wake up, let alone walk or keep being the asshole he was so far. Zane will never be the same person you knew before. He might wake up and forget who the fuck are you- would you try to help him, or would you leave without thinking? Would you stand next to him, explain everything that had happened, and stay by his side, or would you take the freedom? Think carefully if Zane woke up today, and his memory would be as blank as the newborn's- freedom would be handed to you on a silver plate. Would you fucking stay?"* Eden growled, annoyed by the words and questions that left her lips. The wolf had an idea that Camilla would quickly leave their mate in a heartbeat, that terrified her. No matter how many problems they faced in the past, no matter how many times they did everything to hurt each other- Eden wanted her mate. She could stand by anything that Camilla chose as the best for them both, but it didn't mean that Eden would easily give up on her mate. Xavier was an asshole, so full of himself, it made her sick, but even despite that- the Moon Goddess paired them for a reason.

"I don't fucking know, Eden! All I know right now is that I have to distract myself from the thoughts running through my mind. Please, leave me alone for a little more and let me get this carpet clean. The stain won't disappear on its own."* At this point, Camilla struggled to stay calm. Everyone thought it was okay to push their opinions on her, and even her wolf decided to question the young woman. Camilla wondered if she ever would have a day without all those questions or someone staying away from her life- respecting the little bit of privacy she had left.

*"As if Zane would care about a fucking bloodstain on a carpet. Could you answer my question, Camilla? I need to know what you would do. Would you stay or run?"* Eden didn't bother to step back. The wolf wouldn't calm down if she didn't get an honest answer.

*"I told you- I don't know. It's not like we met today, and you can't say how I feel. As a part of me, you know what I feel and what I think. I hope Zane will wake up and his memory won't be affected in any way. That's about all the information I can give you this far."* Camilla mentally rolled her eyes in annoyance. Both Aiden and Kaiden kept asking her similar questions, and she had no idea what to answer. If Eden didn't calm down and give Camilla time to think at least a little- the young woman would lose her mind.

*"No! Don't avoid my questions! Stop acting like a pussy; you are not a fucking weakling! It's about time you stop that self-pity shit and grow the fuck up! There might be a day when you face a choice between those two. I want to know if I'm losing my mate as soon as you gladly leave yours!"* Eden's words stung. The wolf managed to hurt Camilla more than many people around the pack did. Of course, she would assume something- locking everyone out for so long, and ignoring all emotions her human side felt was weak. If only Eden didn't push up the walls; perhaps, she would know how Camilla truly felt.

"Stop assuming shit about whatever I might do, Eden! I am not a coward or weakling, and I am not trying to pity myself! You're an entitled idiot who keeps on pushing your fucking opinion on me! Sure, keep on acting like you're the only one who's hurting! Keep on acting like you're the only one that misses him and fears the next day to come! I don't want to lose Zane, alright? I don't! I want to clean this fucking carpet in peace; I want you to shut the fuck up and stop being a bitch! I want to be alone for as long as needed. Everyone kept attacking me with questions while you hid away like a coward yourself- I faced his parents and pack members. What did you do? Sit in the silence, block everyone out, and appear out of nowhere to accuse me of whatever shit you managed to come up with? For fuck's sake, I thought you wouldn't be a complete bitch, but I was so damn wrong!" Camilla shouted out loud. The young woman couldn't hold her emotions back anymore. It wasn't a heated inner argument anymore; she brought it up to the surface. Her eyes filled with tears, blurring her vision. Camilla struggled to keep acting as if she was strong and wouldn't break down at any moment. She focused her anger and pain on the stained carpet, growing more irritated as the dried blood wouldn't disappear from the while fiber. The young woman took a deep breath and closed her eyes, silently speaking up again:
"I miss him, alright? A lot. Even those moments when he acts like a cocky asshole. I miss his smile and the moments when he would be insanely sweet- even all those times when he was angry, trying his best to talk out everything. Nobody is perfect, and Zane isn't either. But.. But he's perfectly imperfect in my eyes. He is a fucking idiot, but he's our fucking idiot, Eden. And I know that it has been a long road this far; both of us had to go through many difficulties, but I'm still here. I wanted to leave a while ago; I don't think that I could anymore. He is the only person that could accept every little thing about me, and he kept trying to keep me safe ever from a distance. I failed to protect him when the council arrived. All I'm trying to say is that I don't want him to stay in the dark; I want to see him around the house. Zane should sleep in his bedroom, on his bed. Please, let me be; I will make sure that the room is tidy enough for his arrival." Camilla's lip trembled. She wasn't ready to confess her feelings, but if Eden needed to hear that- the young woman was happy to share everything. Perhaps the wolf would understand that her ideas and approach was utterly wrong; the human side didn't think of doing anything against her wolf.

Camilla stared at the blood, flashbacks of the terrifying scene instantly appearing in front of her eyes. She couldn't hold back the tears anymore- tiny drops landed on her skin one by one. Camilla's body trembled, Eden fell silent, and the only thing she could hear was her heavy breathing.
A strong pair of arms wrapped around Camilla's body, the voice she hadn't heard for way too long whispered in her ear: "Please, don't leave me. I will do anything, I promise."