.54. We need to talk.

"Never? What do you mean? Camilla, did you fall on your way here and hit your head? Give me a moment; I will call the pack's doctor to check on you." Zane jumped on his feet, walking back and forth across the living room. The male was worried, but at the same time, a look of disbelief crossed his facial features. Was one word enough to bring the man down from his imaginary throne? At this point, Camilla felt more confused about his reaction than anything ever before. And there she was, thinking that the Alpha would be happy for her answer.

"Zane, calm down; I came here to talk, not to burn down all bridges between us. I didn't fall on my way here, nor did I hit my head. We need to talk- for real, like two grown shifters without dropping any assumptions in between our words. Please, sit down," Camilla placed a hand on the sofa right next to her and tapped it, inviting Zane to sit right next to her.

To say that the young Alpha was surprised would be an understatement. Zane expected Camilla to take his offer gladly- rejection was the easiest way out of the messed up situation some might try to call a relationship. He sighed, slowly approached the sofa, and sat next to Camilla, looking anywhere but at her. The next surprise was her shifting a little closer and leaning her head against his shoulder. Only then did Zane understand that his mate was trying to take the initiative when it should be a thing he would do. As an Alpha and a man- Zane was supposed to be the strong one between them, but the male had messed up so many times, he didn't see any reason to try. If there was one thing he honestly didn't want to do- it was putting Camilla in more danger, ruining her life, or making it miserable. Zane let out a deep breath and snuck his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in. The male had accepted that the rejection would happen, and if she were giving him a chance to hold her once more- he would do anything to enjoy the moment a little more.

"Is there anything you'd want me to tell you? Not sure if you would since you've heard me repeating the same thing over and over again." Zane whispered, his voice sounding hoarse and full of pain. Camilla knew that her mate was going through a lot, not because he locked himself in, but because of the things she felt through their bond. Truthfully, it took her awhile to gather enough courage to visit him- she kept doubting so many things, but at the end of the day, Zane was always there. Despite how big of an asshole Zane was, he was there, ensuring her safety and happiness even when he knew that he wasn't the one to share it with her.

"I wanted to sit down and discuss some things, but that's pretty obvious. Let me talk, listen, and when I'm done, you can give me an opinion or perhaps discuss my thoughts. After you hear me out, you're free to bring up anything you want to talk about or some things that didn't sit well with you from what I'm about to bring up." Camilla smiled as she spoke, but the young woman kept her eyes glued on the floor. She didn't want to give out all of her cards; if Zane saw her smile- he'd feel too relaxed, waiting for the best things to come rather than some unpleasant details.

"Alright then, you have my full attention," the male breathed out, his body tensing. At this point, Zane had no idea what he should expect. Seeing Camilla in his house was a dream come true, but he felt as if there had to be a catch for her sudden visit. Good things didn't happen to Zane, despite everyone looking upon him as one of the luckiest persons alive- he wasn't. Everyone would see his life from afar, yet none would know the things Zane struggled with. His life wasn't all happiness and joyful events, not even close.

"We didn't start from the best point, I must admit it. During the time I lived away from the pack, I had the luxury of unlimited time. I could improve myself, rethink some decisions, come clean with my past, and lastly- think about us. And I mean it when I say us. Don't make fun out of me, please, but I have to point out a few things. First, I had the biggest crush on you for as long as I could remember, but that faded as soon as we started high school. You see, there had to be a reason why you decided to avoid me, entirely out of nowhere. Perhaps you don't remember how we used to be friends at one point, and I did enjoy your company back then. Maybe it was people you started hanging around or the rumors spread across the pack- all of them about unrealistic things I supposedly did. However, I didn't want to stay on those memories for too long, recalling the most recent events. Things became worse after I rejected you- the bullying, name-calling, taking my only friend away from me, and so on."

As Camilla licked her lips to continue, Zane found a perfect moment to speak up, thinking that his mate wouldn't utter a word. "I wouldn't have enough time even till the end of my days to explain and prove how sorry I am for those things. If only I would have known about who you are- if only I had even a slight idea that you might be my mate. Perhaps I wouldn't be such an asshole, and we could be friends. I can't turn back the time to avoid or change every other problem I caused Camilla. I wish I could." Zane leaned his head back, fighting with himself mentally. The male wasn't used to speaking his mind in such a manner, especially if there were any emotions involved.

"I didn't finish; please pay attention," Camilla rolled her eyes in annoyance. She did know that Zane tried to speak his mind, express his emotions, and explain what he had done in the most regretful manner. "So the issue that caused most of the drama was me quitting the job- back then, I wanted to prove that nothing would stop my no, even the possibility of losing my only income. I hoped that you would understand how serious about the decision I was and you'd leave me alone soon after. But I need to know this... Do you have any idea why I rejected you?" Camilla pushed herself away from Zane to meet his eyes. The young woman wanted to find something in them- if he'd try to lie, she would notice that within a second.

"No, I don't," Zane met her gaze, admitting the defeat. As an Alpha, he was supposed to know everything about his pack members, let alone his Luna. Camilla was one of a kind, it was a known fact, but it did frustrate Zane at times. He wanted to understand his mate, the way she thought and felt, but it seemed nearly impossible.

"I did it because I promised to wait for my mate," Camilla stated, determination lacing her words. The young woman didn't want to give out all of her secrets, but this was one she could freely share with him. The man who tried to take the most precious thing she had was the man who she saved it for. It did seem a little odd, but Camilla knew that Zane would flip out if his mate didn't save herself for him while the male kept taking what wasn't his. The number of women who lost their virginity to Zane was ridiculous, but all of them felt proud for sleeping around with the next Alpha. Camilla suspected that every other woman who did silently hoped that they might take place as Luna.

"Wait, do you mean that..." Zane's eyes widened as the realization hit him. The young Alpha finally managed to put two and two together. His mate was a virgin who rejected the Alpha to be for her mate. Deep down, he felt thrilled for the fact. Camilla didn't let anyone take what rightfully would be his, but the reality did sadden him as well. Unlike his mate- Zane jumped from bed to bed, enjoying the reckless life, changing women every other day.

"I mean that I saved myself, the first time for my mate. Ironically the man who was so persistent in getting it turned out to be my mate. The Moon Goddess sure has her ways, doesn't she?" Camilla chuckled, standing up from the sofa and approaching the large window. She loved to watch show covered territory from the room in the packhouse, but she had no idea how different everything looked from Zane's house. No wonder she would notice the Alpha spending ages in front of that window, looking in the distance.

Strong arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her back against a rock-hard chest. Camilla didn't notice how Zane followed her example, got up, and snuck on her from the back. His face, as per usual, rested near her neck, inhaling the godly scent. The young woman didn't reject his attempts to get closer, quite the opposite, she gladly leaned in, letting him hold her as he never did. The moment was pure bliss for both Camilla and Zane. None brought up the topic about her virginity or things both of them had done wrongly in their past- instead, they enjoyed the moment of silence in their own piece of heaven.

"Do you think we could ever make this work? I mean the thing between us, as an actual relationship." Camilla sighed, closing her eyes. The young woman didn't notice how the Alpha's breath hitched and how the male gazed at her. If there was anything in Zane's eyes- it was pure love and adoration. Never in a million years would he dare to assume that Camilla would attempt to take the first step towards their future. If anything, he was sure that their journey had ended.

"I was quite sure that I dug my own grave already. Truthfully, I'm not sure, and my answer isn't connected to you in any way. I'm not sure if I'd be able ever to reach the standards of a man I have to become to be worthy of you." Zane didn't attempt to make himself look better in her eyes- the young male answered the question as sincerely as he could. Pouring out whatever he felt wasn't a thing Zane liked to do, especially since he was supposed to be quite emotionless in the eyes of others, but this time seemed to be the last opportunity to do so.

"But if we tried? Starting from a new page, as if we met for the first time, no past whatsoever. If only a part of our days would be as this moment now, I'd try my best to be enough. Zane, I'm not ready to waste the gift given by the Goddess- many don't live for long enough to meet the other part of them while we got lucky. I know that we're not a perfect match, especially since I'm a lower class than you are, but perhaps we could try? The things you did for me, the fact that you risked so much, blindly leaving everything behind just to save my life, proved that you do care for me. Feel free to deny that, but even denial won't change my mind." Camilla smiled to herself, recalling the things Zane had done. The young woman tried to forget the unpleasant encounters between them- living in the past would rob her of future opportunities.

Camilla kept quiet, silently holding her breath, awaiting his answer. However, the young Alpha didn't utter a word while his hold around her waist tightened a little. Camilla finally opened her eyes to be met with his, but before she could ask Zane if anything happened- the male leaned in and pressed his lips against hers. At first, he hesitated to take dominance over the kiss, doubting that Camilla would enjoy his sudden action, but when the woman turned around and threw her arms around his neck, Zane didn't hold back. A low growl formed in his chest- as much as he wanted to devour her taste, he kept holding himself back. The kiss didn't grow into a passionate, lustful dance between their lips. For the first time ever, Zane was gentle, slow, and careful, savoring the moment they shared. Finally, the Alpha understood that Camilla not only looked like a real-life Goddess, she also tasted and felt like one. When their lips parted, Zane rested his forehead against hers and whispered: "You've always been more than just enough. You've been my everything beyond any limits, even when you didn't know that. Perhaps you are not the only one who had had a mad crush on someone since they could remember themselves."