Chapter 21- The Mistake

**Grace POV **
I heard Clay tell his dad we were about to work on the training for Lilliana. I was a bit nervous. I knew I could rock it at the regular training, especially since I was even faster and apparently could jump.

“Are you ready?” Clay whispered into my ear. I could feel his hand on the small of my back, it brought me so much comfort and though I was lacking confidence at the moment I knew he would make sure I was ok.

I shrugged in response. “Go over into the stall and shift. That way you can have a moment.” He pointed over to the set of stalls over in the corner. I had a feeling that most of the people here did not complain about being naked, but I was not to the stage yet.

As I walked over to the stall Lilliana came to my mind.

**“I have this**,” she said, **“I am actually a very good fighter. It will depend on if you trust me enough.”**

“I think I trust you.” I replied. “I am unsure about how to fight."

“**A wolf fighting is more about instinct than training and thought. In the moment there is no time for thought. I will be ready**.” Lilliana sounded so sure which helped take away some of my anxiety.

“Alright. Trust you. Let go.” I can do that, I thought to myself, knowing Lilliana could probably still hear me. I could feel my bones moving as I began to shift. Clay was right in saying that it would become easier over time. This was only my third shift into a wolf, and it already felt easier.

I came out of the stall in wolf form. As soon as people saw me, they stopped speaking. I could not see what I looked like, but Clay said I was magnificent. I guess I had to believe him. They stared at me in awe as I walked past. I could hear the whispers coming as I walked away from the people.

“ I have never seen a wolf so beautiful.”

“Did you see her birth mark? It is glowing!”

“She is the golden wolf. No doubt now.”

I could tell that Lilliana was walking a bit prouder with every compliment she heard.

“They think I am amazing.” Said Lilliana, I could sense here confidence making her stronger with every step she took towards the training ground.

“Clay tells me your wolf is Lilliana. Well Lilliana it is a pleasure to meet you. You are a very lovely wolf. As my son told me you were.” Oliver looked over towards Alex, Clay’s wolf, with a smile. I could sense he was very proud of his son and now me.

Lilliana bowed her head in respect and continued her walk over to Alex.

*Are you ready*? I heard Alex say to us.

*Born ready*, Lilliana replied, and Alex backed away a bit with the over confidence that Lilliana let off.

Alex and Lilliana paced around one another. It was interesting being part of the fight but not having control of what was happening. Lilliana was right when she said it was all instinct. Alex jumped towards us; Lilliana quickly jumped right over him. In mid-jump she took a bite from his neck. Alex growled and came back fiercer. Lilliana used speed this time to move aside from his attack and ended up on top of him. That was when I made the mistake. I wanted to make sure she wouldn’t hurt Alex and so I tried to take control. The result was us looking like a possessed wolf dancing everywhere each trying to take control of the moment.

**“What are you doing Gracie?”** Lilliana sounded so angry.

“I am not sure. I guess I did not trust you not to hurt him.” I answered solemnly.

**“You didn’t trust me?**” Lilliana sounded so sad and hurt. I felt her walking over to the stall and she forced herself to change at that moment.

I stood there naked and tried to change back.

“Lilliana I am so sorry.” I cried, but she did not reply. I had really upset her and now she was in the deepest part of my mind.

I sat there huddled in a ball when Clay found me. He helped me get dressed and then carried me up to his room.

“Gracie, talk to me.” He whispered, but all I could do was whimper in return. I was really messing up with whole shifter thing. How could I be the golden wolf when I couldn’t trust my wolf?

I laid on the bed sulking. I sat there for a while. I heard Clay take a heavy breath and leave the room. About ten minutes later there was a slight knock on the door and Rose came in. She laid down on the bed and I cried.

“Rose how am I supposed to save everyone if I can not even keep it together? How am I supposed to use my wolf? What am I doing here?” It was like word vomit that I could not stop, would not stop. Rose just held me there until I stopped crying.

“First, you are the toughest person I know. What your problem is,” I looked at her with a side-eyed, she rolled her eyes in response, “you want to control everything. Grace you can not control anything with this. There is no control. When the wolf takes over you must let them. When we head out on this journey, we can research but we do not know what we will find. You have to let go.”

I knew she was right, and I nodded my head.

“She isn’t speaking to me.” I whispered in a way that I was sure she couldn’t hear me.

“Wolves are sensitive beast. You need to say sorry. And you need to learn to trust her. Not only is she a wolf who knows how to be a wolf, but she is part moon goddess. She knows what she is doing. You have to trust that.” I had momentarily forgotten that Lilliana was part of the moon goddess’s soul. Rose was right. I needed to figure out how to make amends to Lilliana. I needed to learn to let go of my need for control.

“How do you think I can get her to speak to me?” I was beside myself on how to get Lilliana to come back to the forefront of my mind and not stay hidden so deep inside.

“Beg.” Was Rose’s reply and then we both started to laugh. “You will figure it out.” She gave me a reassuring hug.

“So how goofy did I look out there?” I said while I was picturing how both Lilliana and I were fighting for control.

“Oh girl, it was bad. I mean a funny bad. I was a minute away from rolling on the ground. You were like half wolf and half person but not in a good way. It was just bad.” Rose laughed so hard through her telling me.

“Clay is pretty concerned about you, ya know?” Rose said to me.

“Yea I figured he might be.” I gave her a little half smile. “I guess I need to apologize there too.”

“I do not think an apology, maybe just a thank you for being there and hey I’m a control freak and I got scared.” I smacked her on the arm.

“I’m not that much of a control freak. I’m just not use to an animal taking over my body!” I yelled back.

“Girl, you are a control freak. I have known you forever. Control is your weakness. It also is your strength when the time is right.” I took my best friends’ words to heart. I knew I could be a control freak and most of the time it ended well for me. However, this was a new world. This was a new story for my life. If I was going to live this destiny well, I would have to learn to let go.

“Ok, you are right. I will move on from this. I need to let go.” Suddenly Rose broke out in the good old Disney song of Let It Go. I laughed so hard and that was when Clay walked in.

“I am glad to see you are doing better.” Clay said with an amused look on his face. Rose gave me the motion with her thumbs that she was going to head out and give me a moment to explain myself to Clay.

“Clay I am so sorry for what happened today.” I told Clay as I grabbed his hands in mine. He easily picked me up and placed me on his lap so that I was straddling him.
“Oh Love, it is a learning process. You were quite a sight to see too.” He laughed and I smacked him lightly on the arm.

“I am really sorry. Letting go and not taking control is something that is very difficult for me. I need to apologize to Lilliana too.” Just then he kissed me. The kind of kiss that let me know that he would love me no matter what kind of foolishness I found myself in.

“Letting go can be hard for many of us. Trusting can also be difficult. I am sure Lilliana will understand. Wolves are very sensitive.”

“Rose told me the same thing. Has Alex every gotten mad at you?” Clay really laughed this time. A nice deep laugh that was a chuckle that I could hear all day.

“Oh yes my love. Alex has gotten very angry with me many times.”

“When was the last time?” I asked maybe a bit too eagerly.

“When we saw you in the forest and I wouldn’t just take you and make you my mate right there and then.” As he said this his licked and bit lightly on the spot that marked me as his. It was intoxicating. I moaned in response and let him take full control of that moment as I felt his hands work their way up under my shirt.