29, Familiar but different

The day after getting the news about Ceran, Ayya sat in meetings all day. First with Magath to go through what the assignment would mean, what was expected of her and what she could expect from being the representative of the aari. Then with her father, Tenac and Tariana.

“It’s unnecessary to bring the carriage. I can ride. It would be quicker,” Tariana told Kopa.

“No,” he simply answered.

“Kopa,” Tariana said, looking at him in a demanding way.

“No,” he told her again.

“He’s right, mom,” Tenac intervened. 

“If we take the carriage, we will have to follow the roads. That will take us at least half a day extra,” Tariana argued.

“It’s for your safety,” Kopa said in a tone that made it clear he thought the discussion was over. Ayya saw Tariana was about to argue. But Ayya knew there would be no point. Her father had made up his mind and Tenac agreed. It would take a miracle to make them rethink. 

“Tariana, even if you go by horse, we have a lot of things that we need to bring. We would need to take a waggon, or so many packhorses that we wouldn’t gain any time. It’s better just not to argue with them,” Ayya told her. Tariana looked at Ayya, then at the two men. 

“That is true,” she said. “Fine, I’ll agree to it. But you know you will have to join me,” she added to Ayya.

“I know,” Ayya said, and nodded. Ayya had hoped to ride Estrela to the funeral. But she realised she couldn’t be telling Tariana to go in a carriage and then refuse herself. She thought about it for a minute. “Dad, you can ride Estrela.” Kopa looked at her.

“I can’t do that. She is your horse,” he said.

“Yes, but I would like to bring her. It’s not as if we are expecting any trouble, so there shouldn’t be a need for you to ride on the coach box,” Ayya told him.

“I think that is a wonderful idea,” Tariana agreed.

“The clan may not be happy for me to do that,” Kopa tried.

“They won’t care. It’s Ayya’s horse. She can decide who rides Estrela. You’re her father and the Lady’s bodyguard. You hold a high standing,” Tenac informed him.

“Splendid, then it’s decided,” Tariana concluded.

Early the next morning, they all met up at the river field. The eight riders that were escorting them all came from the Lady’s personal guard. Ayya had seen them before, but didn’t know any of them. She stood by Estrela as her father walked up to her. 

“Are you sure about this?” he asked her. 

“Stop worrying, dad. I don’t mind you riding her,” she told him, handing the reins to him. 

“Okay, get into the carriage and we will get going,” he said. She nodded and waved towards her mother that had come to see them off. Ayya took her place opposite Tariana and they set off. Ayya hadn’t been in the carriage since her first day in Salmis. It felt a little strange, like if something from her dream suddenly had materialised in front of her. 

“I hate funerals,” Tariana confessed as she looked out over the plain that moved by outside the windows. They had travelled most of the day in silence. 

“I have never been to one,” Ayya said. 

“But your… Oh yes, I remember,” Tariana interrupted herself. “We never held a memorialisation for your parents. I’m sorry dear, we should have.”

“It’s okay. I don’t think it would have made any difference. I think I slept through the funeral,” Ayya said, trying to remember. 

“There wasn’t a funeral. The city didn’t allow it for the once that succumbed to the decease. That lawyer that knew your father made sure they were put to rest according to their custom. If it hadn’t been for his help, the city would have put them in a mass grave with the other victims. There was no time for individual graves. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be telling you this,” Tariana told her, shaking her head as if to clear it.

“No, it’s fine. Thank you for telling me. It’s nice to know that they were taken care of,” Ayya said. She fiddled with the red ribbon that fell down her shoulder. Both of the aari had bright red bows tied by a wide ribbon on both their shoulders, spilling over their back and chest on their cloaks. They also had on red armbands over their dresses. It was to show they were in mourning. The grey riders all had on red armbands as well and a red sash across their chest. 

“Kopa told me you took Tenac out of training the other day. Thank you,” Tariana said.

“I was happy to help. He has helped me out enough times.”

“He is stubborn, that son of mine. I would like to say it comes from his father, but that would be a lie,” Tariana told her with a smile. “Cenac could be determined when he wanted something, but he never came close to the stubbornness that I have.” Ayya had never heard her talking about her husband like this before. 

“Tenac must have got the best of both of you,” Ayya said. 

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think he got all of Cenac’s good sides and my flaws,” Tariana chuckled. It was nice to see her smile again, Ayya thought. 

“It can’t be that bad.”

“I guess not. He is a good man, just like his father. I’m proud of him and of the choices that he is making, even if he doesn’t feel like telling his mother about them. But mother always knows,” Tariana said. Ayya had to laugh. “What?” Tariana asked.

“My father told me something similar the other day.”

“It’s a parent thing. You will understand one day.” Ayya shrugged. She had barely let herself believe she could have a romantic relationship with someone. A family, children. That was still something that felt farfetched to her. As they stopped for the night, tents were being erected. Only three of them were needed, the big one that Ayya remembered from her journey to Salmisara, and two of the regular ones. As last time, Tariana and Ayya would sleep in the inner room of the big tent. Kopa and Tenac set up their cotts in the awning. They had a light supper before heading to bed. 

They arrived at the clan after four days of travelling. It would give them a day to get settled before the funeral. Tenac’s family and most of the clan gathered round to welcome them. 

“My Lady, welcome,” Tenac’s uncle said with a slight bow toward Tariana. 

“Chief Cetu, it’s an honour to be here. I am sorry for your loss,” she replied. Ayya saw the shadow of pain in Tenac’s uncle’s eyes as Tariana had addressed him by his new title. Being chief was an honour, but it came at the cost of losing his father. 

“Nephew, I’m glad you could make it,” Cetu said, turning to Tenac.

“I would not miss it, chief,” Tenac said with a bow to his head. 

“Ayya, you are always a welcome sight,” Cetu told her. 

“Chief Cetu, I’m honoured to be here. I bring with me the condolences and support of the aari. We grieve with you,” she said. He gave her a weak smile.

“We appreciate the aari’s support. It’s good to know we have friends even in hard times like these.” That concluded the formal greetings and Beruda walked past her husband and embraces Tariana. Ayya had to remind herself that the two were sisters-in-law. 

“Ayya,” Beruda said, giving Ayya a hug as well. 

“Beruda, I’m so sorry for your loss. Is there something I can do?” Ayya said, hugging the woman back. 

“Just having you all here is making the pain feel less. I’m happy you arrived today. Tomorrow the other chiefs arrive and it will be good to have the family gathered.”

They all went into Cetu’s tent. Ayya greeted the daughters and started helping them with preparing the dinner, as she always did. Nontuf joined them after a while and when the dinner was almost done, Ayya joined the others as they sat in the usual spot in the tent. Ayya felt the absence of Tenac’s grandfather stronger than ever as she sat down. He would always insist that she sat next to him and he would spend the meals talking to her. Now she sat down between Tenac and her father. The conversation revolved around Tenac’s grandfather. Stories were shared, highlights of his time as chief were retold, and everyone shared something personal about Ceran. By the end of the evening meal, Ayya felt she had got to know the former chief even more. She had got to see him through the eyes of his son, his grandsons, his daughters-in-law and even Ayya’s father had taken part in the conversation. 

“Let’s get ready for bed. Tomorrow will be a long day,” Beruda told them. Ayya wondered if the riders had erected their tents, but discovered that Tariana and Ayya were expected to sleep in Cetu’s tent. 

“What about dad?” Ayya asked Tariana. She doubted he would sleep in a separate tent if both she and Tariana slept in Cetu’s. 

“Oh dear, I hadn’t thought about that one. We can’t have him sitting outside the tent all night,” she said and signed for Beruda to come. “We have an issue. Kopa is not going to accept sleeping someplace else. I may have been able to persuade him to do so if it was just me. But with both Ayya and me, I think it’s a lost cause,” Tariana explained to the chief’s wife. Beruda looked in amusement at Kopa, that stood a little to the side. 

“I understand what you say. My husband was the same when it came to our daughters. I will make sure he has a bed to sleep on in this tent,” she told them.

“Thank you,” Ayya said. As Ayya got into the bed made up of blankets and pillows that she now was accustomed to, she let herself feel how strange it was to be with the clan and not see Ceran. She thought about Tenac and wondered how he was doing. They had had no chance to talk alone since the beginning of the journey. If this would have been a regular visit to the clan, Tenac and she would have been sitting and watching the herds, talking late into the night.