45, A plea

Ayya spent the coming months trying to think of ways she could help the people back in her old city. But the relations between the two countries made it almost impossible. She started visiting the library, and she talked to the head librarian about obscure medical text that she then spent hours reading. Nowhere could she find anything that sounded similar to the sickness that plagued their neighbours. 

It was a wintry afternoon, Ayya was certain that the first snow of the season was close. She read the letters she had been assigned in her cosy armchair in her office instead of at her desk. She had just got comfortable with a cup of tea when there was a knock at the door. 

“Enter,” she called out, not wanting to give up her seat. A prospect walked in and handed her a note and then quickly left. Ayya read the note. It was from Tariana, asking Ayya to report to her office as soon as possible. Ayya left the tea and her comfortable armchair and hurried over to Tariana’s office. When she entered, she saw the council was already there. Mikhalie came a minute later and as soon as they took their seats, Tariana stood up to speak.

“What is discussed here today will not leave this room. No one is to talk about it to anyone that is not present here and, preferably, no one should speak about it at all outside these meetings. I know that is as standard for these meetings. But it is of extra importance in this case,” Tariana said. Everyone around the table nodded. “Good. Today I received a letter from Dermes, from the king.” Ayya looked at Tariana with surprise and she could hear that several council members drew in a breath in surprise. “He is inviting me to again come to Dermes to help them,” as Tariana uttered those words, chaos broke out around the table as upset aari struggled to make their outrage heard. Ayya just sat there, numb, as she tried to understand the situation. She felt her father place a hand on her shoulder and she looked up at him. Ayya could clearly see the worry in his eyes as he looked at her. She tried to give him a smile. 

“This is outrageous. What are they thinking?” aari Furlow exclaimed.

“Have they lost their minds?” aari Gregic shouted.

“Calm down,” Tariana ordered. Everyone around the table settled down. “The king tells me the situation is bad. They have managed to fill their food storages to last the winter, but people are dying and unrest is felt in the city,” she told them. 

“Why should we care? Twice have we risked sending you there, twice have you endured their questioning and scrutiny only to be turned away,” aari Gregic said. 

“The church doesn’t want our involvement, and they run the council,” aari Furlow agreed. 

“We can’t send you there again, just to put you through the church’s interrogation,” aari Sadie said. Everyone around the table nodded.

“What about the people?” Ayya quietly asked.

“What was that, Ayya?” Tariana wondered and looked at her. Ayya could see the same worry coming from her mentor as she had seen in her father’s eyes. 

“I know the church is fighting us, but what about the people? We are to serve those in need, and the people of Dermes are dying. Isn’t that worth at least a consideration?” Ayya asked as she found her voice again.

“It is,” Tariana agreed. “But if we can’t get the approval to help the people, us going there won’t make any difference,” she added. The council nodded.

“We can’t send the Lady on such a journey, risking that she will become ill as well, when we know we will not get to help the people no matter what we do,” aari Gregic said.

“Do we really know that?” Ayya asked.

“Based on the pattern, we do,” aari Lohem told her. Ayya refused to let the subject be pushed aside before they even had discussed it. So the discussion continued. Everyone but Ayya was of the opinion that they should say no. Only Tariana was keeping up with an appearance of neutrality, and Ayya felt that was mostly for her sake. 

“You don’t understand. You see the political side, and I do know that is an important part. But you don’t understand the real issue here isn’t that the church will try to stop us from helping. The real issue is there are children watching their parents die, there are people dying at a rate that they aren’t being offered a funeral, there are people starving despite Domne having more than enough produce to feed their population but fear stops it from reaching the city. We are discussing ignoring all of that because we are afraid of the church?” Ayya asked them. There were objections from all members of the council. 

“We aren’t afraid of the church,” aari Furlow objected.

“Then why aren’t we helping the people? The ones we swore to help and protect?” Ayya asked.

“I think it’s time to stop the discussion here. We will retire for the day and return first thing tomorrow morning to finish the discussion. Remember my warning at the beginning of the meeting,” Tariana said. Everyone stood up and made their way out of the room.

“Ayya.” Ayya stopped and turned towards her father. He walked up to her but didn’t say anything until only they and Tariana were left in the room. “Are you okay?” he asked. Ayya found she had a hard time looking at him. She felt she was close to tears, and she didn’t want him to know. 

“No,” she said. 

“Come home with me tonight, spend the night at home with me and your mother,” he suggested. 

“No. Thanks, dad, but I’ll be fine,” she told him.

“I’m worried about you, little one. I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I need some time alone to get my thoughts in order,” she told him. She needed to calm down and think up the best strategy. Her father sighed and nodded. 

“Fine, but you know that you always can come home if you need it. I’ll be here first thing in the morning,” he said and gave her a hug. She hugged him back before heading to her apartment for some time alone to think. Half way there, she stopped where the corridor split in two. She had just remembered the cup of undrunk tea in her office. She should go and clean it up. But it would mean that she risked running into someone that wanted to talk, and that felt too overwhelming. She was stuck in between the two options. It really shouldn’t be that difficult of a choice, she thought. 

“Ayya?” Ayya turned around and saw Tenac looking at her. He was with three other riders but his focus was on her. 

“Hi,” she said.

“You go on ahead,” Tenac told the others and walked up to her. “What are you doing? It looked like you were just standing here,” he asked. 

“I’m trying to decide if I should go to my office or my apartment,” she told him. 

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” she said.

“Ayya, you don’t stand around in a corridor trying to figure out what to do. Something’s not right. I’ll walk you back to your apartment and make you some tea,” he offered. 

“That’s okay. I need to be alone to think,” she objected. 

“Yeah, not going to happen right now. Either you let me keep you company until you start to function normally, or I’m taking you to your parents. We don’t need to talk. You know I’m not that social. You didn’t leave me alone when my grandfather passed away. I’m not leaving you alone now,” he told her.

“It’s nothing like that. I can’t talk about it,” Ayya said. 

“That’s fine. So are we going to your apartment or to your parent’s house?” he asked. Ayya looked at him and saw that he was dead set on not leaving her alone, and she didn’t have the energy to fight him. 

“My apartment,” she told him. He nodded, and they set off together in silence. Ayya let them into her apartment and Tenac pushed her towards her armchair. She sat down and started going through what had been said at the meeting. Suddenly, her wool blanket from the Che’hul was placed over her shoulders and then a cup of hot tea was placed in her hands. Without a word, Tenac then settled down at her kitchen table with his own tea and took out two knifes he started cleaning. Ayya looked at him for a moment and then went back to her own thoughts. She didn’t know how long she had been sitting there when there was a knock on her door, but she had drunk the tea. Tenac went to open the door and Ayya could hear him talking quietly with her father. 

“You doing okay, little one?” her father asked as he walked up to her and crunched down in front of her. 

“I’m fine, dad, just a lot on my mind,” she told him. He nodded and looked at her for a while. 

“Sure you don’t want to come home with me?” he asked.

“I’m sure. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine as soon as I sort some things out,” she said. 

“I know you will. I’ll see you tomorrow, Ayya,” he said as he stood and placed a kiss on her head. She heard the door close behind him. 

“I’ll just make us some dinner,” Tenac said. Ayya looked up at him as he stood in her kitchen, going through her cupboards. 

“You don’t have to do that. I can cook, or we can go down to eat. Do you even know how to cook?” she asked. He huffed as he started to peal potatoes. 

“I’m not as good of a cook as you, but I know how to sustain myself. Cooking is part of any riders’ basic training,” he told her. 

“Right, that makes sense,” she said. When Tenac was done with dinner, Ayya was feeling a little more clearheaded and as they ate, she asked about his day. He told her about the training and the struggles of making a patrol schedule that was practical and covered the needs of the sanctum. He didn’t ask about her day, he knew she couldn’t talk about it. After dinner, he put her back in her armchair with the blanket and a fresh cup of tea.

“You shouldn’t have to do that, you’re the guest,” Ayya objected as he washed the dishes. 

“As I invited myself, it doesn’t count,” he just said. Ayya sank back into her thoughts and stared out the window. It was dark, but the lights from the sanctum windows gave off enough light that Ayya could see the snow that was falling. 

“Will you be okay?” Tenac asked a while later. Ayya realised it must be getting late. 

“I’ll be fine. Thank you for staying,” she said. 

“It’s okay, we look after each other,” he said. “Don’t sit up too late,” he told her as he left. The apartment felt strangely empty and quiet when Ayya was alone. It was odd as Tenac and she hadn’t spoken hardly at all. Ayya sighed and got ready for bed. She had worked out a plan for the next day. She even had a backup plan in case her first one failed.