48, The journey begins
It was the day before they were to start their journey. Ayya and her friends, including Jontak and Terway, had gone out to eat the night before as a way to prepare for what was to come. It had been a welcome relaxation after weeks of chaos. Not only had they needed to deal with the planning of the mission, there had been dress fittings to make sure they all had appropriate dresses for all the occasions that might arise. Ayya had told them about the more modest and strict dress code in the Domnean court. They talked about it and decided that they would keep their every day dresses a little more demure than usual. But they also agreed that it was important for them to show their own culture. Ayya had spent days in Tariana’s office listening to her describing the process of getting permission to help the people. They discussed strategies and ways to work around the biggest obstacles. But now all of that was done, there was no more preparation. If they hadn’t thought about it by now, it was too late. Ayya was spending her last day before the mission at home with her parents. Her father was still not happy about what was planned, but he accepted it. Ayya’s mother was devastated. Which had come as a surprise to Ayya. She had expected her mother to be upset at first, maybe even angry. But she had also expected her to get over it just as quickly and then help Ayya to soothe her father. That hadn’t happened. Ayya’s mother was upset, and it made Ayya feel lousy.
“Do you need help with that, mom?” Ayya asked as she watched her mother make lunch.
“No, no, dear. You just sit there and relax. You don’t know when you will get a home-cooked meal next, or when you can relax. So just enjoy your tea,” her mother said and then let a small sob escape. Ayya hurried over to her and gave her a hug. “I’m sorry. I know I’m being silly. I just really don’t like this,” her mother told her as she hugged Ayya back.
“It’s okay, mom. I understand. But it will be okay. I will be gone for a while and then I’ll come back and I’ll have new stories to tell you. It’ll be like any other mission,” Ayya comforted her.
“But it isn’t. We are letting you go back to that horrible place, all alone. What Tariana and your father are thinking, I don’t know. It’s not too late, I can come with you. You could need my knowledge,” Bettina said with passion.
“That is really nice of you to offer. But we both know that dad would go nuts if he needed to not only let me go back, but you as well. He needs you to stay here. I need you to keep him sane until I come back. And I’m not going to be alone. I’m going to be surrounded by people I trust,” Ayya told her mother. “And not everything back there is bad. There are some good things as well.”
“Of course there is. I didn’t mean to imply that. And I am grateful that Tenac and the girls will be going with you. Speaking of good things. I have something that I want you to bring with you,” Bettina said. Ayya followed her mother into the sitting room where Bettina took out four small pillows, no larger than the palm of Ayya’s hand. Each pillow was beautifully embroidered. “This is for your friend, Anna. I know you will find a way to see her. It’s my way to thank her for looking after you while I couldn’t,” Ayya’s mother said. Ayya took the small pillows and felt the scent of lavender and sandalwood.
“She will love them. I’ll make sure she gets them,” Ayya promised.
Later that evening, Ayya added the pillows to her chest. She had packed it with the most valuable things she would bring. Wrapped in a cloth, tucked in between two dresses, was the little book with love poems that Anna had given her. Ayya thought it might be the right thing to do to return it. As she got ready for bed, she let herself think about the people she had left behind and wondered if she would get a chance to meet them. Would they still be there? Or had some of them moved or met even worse faiths? It took her a long time to fall asleep.
In the morning, she dressed in a plain but warm dress. Her father knocked on her door to help carry her chest.
“Do you have everything that you need?” her mother asked for the fifth time as Ayya was putting on her winter cloak that was lined with the white wolf fur.
“I have everything I need,” Ayya ensured her. There was a knock on the door and when Ayya opened it, Tenac stood outside.
“I thought I would check if you needed help with your things,” he said.
“Tenac, good. I needed a word with you,” her mother told him.
“Mom?” Ayya asked.
“Leave her to it, little one,” her father said.
“What can I do for you, Mrs Teeran?” Tenac asked.
“I need you to promise you will look after my daughter, you will keep her safe and keep people away who will hurt her,” Bettina said while giving Tenac a stern look.
“I promise I will do all of that, ma’am,” Tenac said. Ayya’s mother looked at him for a while and then she gave him one of her famous smiles and patted his shoulder.
“I knew I could put my trust in you. I made you some snacks for the journey,” she told him and handed him a package.
“Thank you,” he said and looked at Ayya. Ayya just smiled and shook her head. She was convinced that her father was right. People should be more scared of her mother than of him. Together, the four of them walked down to the river field. The open space was full of waggons, horses and people.
“Ayya,” Hinat called as she and Firlea walked up to them.
“Everything ready?” Ayya asked.
“Most of it. We just handed in the last of our things and everyone is getting ready,” Firlea told her.
“I’ll just go and hand off your chest,” her father said and walked away.
“I have made you girls some snacks. They will keep at least three days and I hope they will be enough for the three of you,” Ayya’s mother told them, handing them a package.
“Thank you,” all three aari said at once.
“I’ll put it in the carriage,” Hinat said. Ayya got one of her mother’s amazing hugs, and she savoured it.
“I am so proud of you for doing this. I know I have been a little down. But I believe you can do this. Just stay safe and listen to Tenac, okay?” her mother told her.
“Okay,” Ayya agreed. Next, she got a hug from her father.
“If anyone can do this, it’s you, Ayya. You carry my pride and my love with you wherever you go. We will be waiting for you and we expect to get at least one letter to let us know you have arrived safely,” Kopa told her.
“I will do my best,” she promised him. “Take care of mom, I know this is hard on her.”
“Don’t worry about us, we will be fine,” he told her. He let her go, and she joined her friends and walked towards the waiting carriage. Tariana, Mikhalie, and the council were standing beside it.
“Ayya, are you all set?” Tariana asked with a smile.
“Yes, we are ready to go,” Ayya said.
“We wanted to see you off and wish you the best. We hope your journey will be calm and your goals will be achieved,” Tariana told her.
“Thank you, my Lady,” Ayya answered.
“I hope you know the council stands behind you. Please don’t see our initial objection as us not supporting your endeavour. We all hope you succeed, and you have all of our best wishes on your journey,” aari Gregic told her.
“Thank you, we appreciate it,” Ayya said.
“Please stay safe, don’t do anything too brave,” Mikhalie told Ayya.
“I’ll do my best to curb any such behaviour. Please hold up the fort when I’m away,” Ayya promised her. Tenac helped the three aari into the white carriage. Ayya felt a little odd to be sitting in it without Tariana. She felt the wobble as they set off. Estrela was one of the horses pulling the carriage. It had been decided that it was necessary for Ayya to have a reliable horse with her. Ayya looked out the window as they moved through the city.
“We are really doing this,” Firlea said.
“We can do this. We have done more difficult things, right?” Hinat said.
“Right,” Ayya agreed. She could see Tenac riding beside the carriage on Addon. They went through the city gate, and Ayya got a flashback from when she left Dermes. It was time to go back and tie up all the loose ends that she had left behind.
The journey took them west, out of the plains, and into the forest covered lands. Before Ayya knew it, she saw the Sadowe river and the ford. As they stopped to let two riders inspect the ford, Ayya focused on controlling her nerves. She was a river’s width away from once again entering into Domne. She remembered the anticipation she had felt when she had made the journey last time. How she had expected everything to be different when they crossed the border into Salmisara. Ayya realised she had the same kind of feeling this time, but instead of feeling like she would get to see the promised land, she was expecting everything to come crumbling down. Tenac opened the carriage door.
“Everything looks safe. Are you ready to go?” he asked.
“We are ready,” Ayya told him with more confidence than she felt.
“You okay?” Tenac asked in Heulu. It had been decided that while in Dermes and when in the company of people outside their own group, Tenac and Ayya would speak Heulu if they needed privacy. They all took for granted that the king, the council or the church would try to listen in on their conversations. But the number of people that spoke Heulu was limited and from what they had learned, no one in the Domnean court or in the castle spoke it.
“To many memories, but I’m fine,” Ayya answered. Tenac nodded and closed the door. Soon they were moving again and, just like last time, the passing over the river went by in an instant. And just like last time, nothing changed. Ayya didn’t magically lose all her willpower, or feel any different from what she had done five minutes before. She smiled at her own silliness and started up a conversation with both her friends to pass the time.
