42, Confession

“Life of comfort and luxury? I understand why my daughter turned your offer down. Your really don’t know her, do you? Ayya don’t want to live a life of comfort being doted on by servants. She needs to have a purpose other than being a wife to a prince. You should be happy that she isn’t here at this moment, she would not look favourable to you trying to go behind her back like this. My daughter likes you, she thinks you are a good man. I’m not so sure, but I’m going to give you a warning. Don’t think that your title will protect you if you do anything that hurts my daughter. I will descend upon you like something from your worst nightmare and I will tear you into pieces,” Ayya’s father said in a low voice that sounded every bit as honest as Ayya knew the threat was. Ayya decided it was time she intervened, it would be bad if her father maimed the prince. She used her magic to make the gravel rattle along the path, creating an illusion that she was walking down it. Then she rounded the corner of the hedge. Her father was standing, glaring at the prince. Neherim was looking a little pale. As Ayya’s father saw her, he smiled at her.

“Hi dad, Neherim,” Ayya greeted them.

“Did you manage to get any good loot?” her father asked.

“Sure did,” she said, handing him his piece of cake. “I’m sorry, Neherim, I didn’t know you were here or I would have brought you a piece as well. I can share mine,” she offered.

“That is kind of you, Ayya. But I need to head back to the rest of my group. Have a lovely day,” he said. Ayya and her father sat down and started eating their cake.

“So how much of our conversation did you overhear?” her father asked. Ayya wasn’t surprised that he knew she had been listening.

“All of it,” she confessed.

“He asked you to marry him, huh?”

“Yes, last night,” she told her father.

“And you turned him down.” It wasn’t a question.

“Of course I did,” Ayya said. “Did you think I would accept?”

“I don’t know, little one. Of all the men that have been circling around you, he is the only one that you seemed to want to get to know,” her father said.

“That’s not true. There is Tenac, and Jontak, and I have got to know a lot of riders and aari,” Ayya objected.

“Yes, I will give you Tenac and Jontak, but we both know you would never be interested in someone like Jontak. The rest of them are just friends,” her father said. 

“You’re not wrong. Thank you for not making a decision on my behalf,” she told him.

“I would never presume to do something like that. Either you, or your mother, would kill me if I did,” he chuckled. They finished their cake and sat for a while longer, talking about other things. 

“I am really lucky to have you as a father. I love you,” Ayya said as they got up to leave and gave her father a hug. 

“I love you too, Ayya. I’m the lucky one. I have the perfect daughter,” he told her and hugged her back.

Later in the afternoon, Ayya was heading to her room to rest before dinner when Mikhalie almost ran her over. Ayya took a hold of her friend’s shoulders to stop them from tumbling into each other. When she looked at Mikhalie, she saw tears running down her face. 

“Mikhalie, what’s wrong?” she asked.

“Nothing.”

“You know that’s not true. Let’s go to my room and we can have a talk, or we can just sit and say nothing. But I don’t want you to be alone when you’re upset,” Ayya told her. Mikhalie looked at her for a moment, as if deciding what to do. Then she nodded. Ayya put an arm around her friend’s shoulders, and they walked to her room. “Hop onto the bed and get comfortable, whenever one of me or my friends are upset, this is the best way to feel a little better,” Ayya said. Mikhalie nodded again and got onto the bed. Ayya followed her and lay down next to her. They just lay there for a while, Mikhalie softly sobbing and Ayya just waiting until her friend was ready to talk. 

“I told him,” Mikhalie eventually said. Ayya thought she understood, but she wanted to be sure to avoid any misunderstandings. 

“Who did you tell what?” she asked.

“I told Neherim I liked him,” Mikhalie sobbed. Ayya felt a cold lump in her stomach. 

“Oh,” was all she could think to say.

“He told me he enjoyed our time together, but that he didn’t have those kinds of feelings towards me and didn’t think that would change,” Mikhalie continued. 

“I’m sorry,” Ayya said. She felt awkward having this conversation with her friend after having Neherim confess his feelings for her. 

“I was ready to give up everything for him. Why couldn’t he see me the same way? Is there something I could have done better?”

“You can’t think like that, Mikhalie. You have done an amazing job, and you have done everything right. But the heart has a mind of its own. No matter how right something looks on paper, when it comes to the heart, it will follow its own path,” Ayya tried to comfort her.

“I just feel so small and humiliated. How am I going to face him tomorrow?”

“What you did was brave. It takes a lot of courage to open up to someone and bare your heart. I wish I was as brave as you. You have nothing to feel ashamed of. You should hold your head high and be proud of yourself,” Ayya said.

“What are you talking about? You are brave, everyone knows you are fearless. You always stand up for what is right and help those who need it,” Mikhalie objected.

“Maybe, but I have never been brave enough to confess to someone the way you did. I rather guard my heart to avoid heartbreak. But in doing so, I will never know if the other persons feels the same way as I do.”

“If you know that, why not just take the chance?” Mikhalie asked.

“Because I’m a coward when it comes to my own feelings. I rather have him in my life as a friend than risk losing it all together,” Ayya confessed. It was the first time she had put her thoughts into words. 

“Oh. OH. You mean… Oh my. I think you should go for it,” Mikhalie said as she realised what, and who, Ayya was talking about.

“I don’t know. Maybe I will someday, when I’m brave enough. You won’t tell anyone, will you?” Ayya asked.

“No. My lips are sealed. If you need to talk about it, I’m here. But I really, really think you should just tell him.”

“Thank you,” Ayya said. They stayed in bed until it was time to get ready for dinner, talking about anything and everything that came to their minds. Ayya was happy that her friendship with Mikhalie seemed to be back to normal, or even stronger than before. 

The following day was to be used for closing conversations. Neherim and his entire party was sat on one side of a large table, Tariana and the once accompanying her were on the other side. The talks were good, both sides had found the two weeks rewarding and fruitful and therefore the conversations mostly revolved around topics they hadn’t had a chance to finish or setting up follow-up discussions. Lunch was served at the table, and Ayya was relieved that she couldn’t pick up on any awkwardness or strange behaviour. It seemed as if everyone had come out of the last couple of days’ emotional turmoil in one piece without too big of an emotional scar. During their evening get together in Tariana’s room, she expressed how pleased she was that the visit had gone so smoothly. As they were about to finish to head to dinner, there was a knock on the door and a rider walked in, handing Tariana a note.

“It seems our friends have finally got the spy to talk,” she told them, after reading it. “They are inviting us over if there is something we want to ask of him. I think we should go. It will be our last chance to see what he knows.”

“I need to insist that we bring four riders,” Kopa told her. Tariana smiled.

“We will take you and Tenac. That is as good as four regular riders,” Tariana said.

“My meaning was four riders on top of me and Tenac,” Ayya’s father objected.

“The spy will not pose a threat to us, and we will not insult the prince by showing up with a horde of men when he came here with just one,” she insisted. Kopa sighed and bowed to her. “Let’s not put this off any longer. Dinner will have to be a little late this evening,” Tariana then said. As they were walking to the rooms given to the Ne’xsissian delegation, Ayya wondered what she would see when they arrived. She was assuming the spy hadn’t just started talking because he had a change of heart. There had to be some coercion involved. She spent the short walk debating if she was okay with it. It opened her up to the insight that if it were for the good of the many she could understand the use of violence in that way. Ayya had thought of herself as a firm believer that violence didn’t solve anything. But apparently she wasn’t as naïve as she herself had thought. As they got to the part of the palace where the prince was set up, one of his men greeted them and when he heard their business, he led them to a room and, after checking with the people inside, he let them enter. The furniture in the room had all been pulled to the walls, except for a single chair in the middle of it. On it sat the man that Ayya first had seen as a tradesman. His face was swollen, and he had a couple of bruises. He sat hunched over and the wheezing sound he made as he breathes made Ayya suspect he had some broken ribs.