Heart to Heart

A few days went by, and Hope continued to carry the weight of her argument with Lola around on her sleeve, as well as thoughts of whether or not she should further investigate the teaching job in Texas. She hadn’t mentioned either to her parents or her sister, though she had an idea Faith knew something was up simply because Lola’s husband was friends with Frankie, and she wouldn’t put it past any of them to mention how accusatory Hope had been. Despite the cold weather, Hope found herself putting her coat on and wandering out to the back yard where her father was chopping wood, deciding perhaps it was time to unburden herself a bit.
The sun was down, so Hope took a lantern out to hold while Will chopped. She knew he could do it just fine by himself, but she thought it might give her an opportunity to talk to him, and it seemed like her only motivation was to be helpful. He already had a pile started by the time she made it over, though, and she wondered which would give out first, the remaining logs or her resolve to ask his advice.
“Hope, honey, you don’t have to do that,” her father said as he positioned the next block of wood to be dissected. “It’s cold out here.”
“I know, Daddy. I just thought maybe you could use a little light and some company. I’m sorry I didn’t think to come and the chopping this earlier, when the sun was still up.”
“Don’t worry on that,” he replied. “I just can’t hardly get home before the sun’s set these days.”
She wasn’t sure if he meant these days as in busy ones at the bank or the shorter winter daylight hours but decided it didn’t matter. She listened to the rhythm of the ax for a few minutes before finally saying, “Daddy, can I ask you a question?”
“I believe you just did,” he replied with a little twinkle in his eye that had her giggling. “What is it, Hope?”
Inhaling the brisk December air, she considered her words. She’d been thinking about the topic for so long, she had so many sentences floating around in her head for how to start, she didn’t know which was best. Finally, she just said, “Lola’s aunt wrote her that she’s looking for a teacher, in their hometown. I mean, her aunt’s hometown. In Texas.”
Will said nothing for a moment, only picked up another large piece of wood and set it on the stump to be chopped. He took a few swings before asking, “And you wanna go?”
“I don’t know,” Hope admitted. “I think part of me does. Or wants to learn more, anyway. Part of me is mad at Lola over the whole thing.”
He raised his eyes and stared at her for a moment. “Why is that?”
Hope felt silly even speaking it aloud, but she admitted, “I think she just wants me to take this job so that she can have mine.”
“Oh.” The ax connected with the wood a few more times before he said, “I guess that does make sense.”
“It does?” Hope asked, startled to hear her father say such a thing. She nearly dropped the lantern.
“Yes. Her pa came into the bank around the time you got your position and made a few remarks about how he thought Lola was sure to get the teaching job. Said he thought the superintendent discriminated because she was getting married and you… weren’t courting anyone.”
Hope’s mouth dropped open and then she closed it again, thinking over what her father had said before she finally replied, “Well, that’s ridiculous. I know some towns don’t like to hire married schoolteachers, but that didn’t have anything to do with it. My marks were higher than hers. I am friendlier, more personable….”
“Hope, honey, you don’t have to defend yourself to me. I set him straight. But it does make sense to me that Lola would want to apply for your position if you were to go elsewhere.”
Tears came to her eyes as she thought about her best friend trying to get rid of her just to claim her role as schoolteacher. Hope felt foolish for having trusted Lola, but she also felt silly for not trusting her gut all week long when she tried to tell herself that Lola would never do that. She lowered the lantern, momentarily distracted, and when her father cleared his throat, she put her arm back up, wishing she could just go back to her room now that she had her answer, though she wouldn’t abandon him when she’d volunteered to help.
The chopped wood pile continued to grow, and Hope stood in silence, listening to the comforting thunk of the ax. Once her father was done, she continued to hold the lantern while he stacked the fresh wood into the pile and gathered some to take in. “You know, Hope, if you’re interested in this position in Texas, I wouldn’t let Lola’s scheming interfere with that. The two are not necessarily related.”
“How do you mean?” she asked as he proceeded to make his way toward the back porch, arms loaded with wood. She went ahead to get the door.
“I mean… if you think you want to find out more about her aunt’s hometown school, then do it. Don’t let the fact that she wants your job dictate what you decide to do. Are you interested in it?”
Hope held the door, and Will made his way through the kitchen to the living room where the largest fireplace was and where they kept most of the extra wood. She closed up the back door tight and followed him, glad her mother wasn’t anywhere to be seen. She wasn’t ready to have this conversation with her.
“I’m not sure,” Hope admitted, setting the lantern on a side table and sitting down in a chair near the fireplace before she even took her coat off. She watched as her father stacked the wood and then pulled off his gloves. “Lola said they’d want someone who could start right away, and I don’t think I could do that.”
“Maybe they’d be willing to wait until the fall for the right candidate.” He walked across the room to hang his work coat by the door, and Hope decided she should take off her snow gear.
“I guess that’s possible,” she replied, pulling her own gloves off and shoving them into the pockets of her coat. “But I’d hate to bother them if I’m not what they’re looking for.”
“How will you know if you don’t ask?” Her father sat down on the hearth just in front of her. Hope imagined what he’d looked like twenty-two years ago when he’d married her mother and thought he must’ve been even more handsome then. He was a special man, and she felt so blessed to be his daughter, to have him to confide in. She knew he’d never steer her wrong.
“I suppose I wouldn’t. But… what about Mama?”
“Your mama? That lady up those stairs? The one who eloped when she was nineteen?”
Hope raised an eyebrow. “I am finding out all kinds of things about Mama I never knew.”
Will laughed. “Listen, Hopey, don’t you worry about your mother. She won’t be thrilled, but she’ll come around. I can’t imagine not seeing you every day either, but you’re an adult now. You’ve got your own life to live, your own adventures to chase. If you feel like you want to investigate this school, see if it’s a good fit for you, then you do it. We’ll support you. If it seems like something you wanna try, then do it. You don’t like it, you come back here.”
“But by then, my job will be filled,” Hope reminded him.
“Then you’ll find a new one.”
“But there’s only one school.”
“Hope, if you can’t find the right school, then we’ll build it.”
She cocked her head to the side, confused at first, but then she realized what he was saying. If you don’t like your circumstances, make new ones. Don’t limit yourself by your present situation. “All right, Daddy. I’ll look into it.”
He gave her a small smile and patted her knee, and Hope could see he was pained, as if he would’ve rather told her to just stay home forever. “Do you need me to figure out who to contact? Or do you wanna ask Lola for the address?”
That was a good question. It would’ve been much easier for her to just let her father figure out an address, but Hope couldn’t just go on about her business without speaking to Lola about it. She needed to apologize to her friend, even if she’d been right, not because Lola needed to forgive her but because Hope would feel better when she did so. “I’ll talk to Lola.”
“That’s my girl,” he said, standing, his hand still on her knee. He kissed her on the forehead and headed out of the room.
He was in the doorway that led to the dining room when she called, “Daddy?” Will turned to look at her. “Thank you.”
Will smiled at her. “We’ll always do whatever we can to help you, Hope.” He headed into the kitchen, and Hope leaned back in the chair, wondering exactly what she would say to Lola, and what she’d write in her query letter. She had a lot of important conversations ahead of her, and the thought of them made her stomach churn, but then, there was another sensation as well, one of adventure, of new experiences—of hope, and that was something she could embrace.