Accusations

Cordia gasped. Barely any light was coming in through her bedroom windows, making it difficult to see who she was looking at, but she thought the form and the voice were familiar. Finally, she said in a very meek voice, “Frieda, is that you?”
The shadow shifted a little bit, and the voice boomed, “Yes, it’s me. Where have you been child?” She stood up now and reached over and lit the lamp next to Cordia’s bed, her face portraying she was unhappy with finding the girl sneaking back into her bedroom so late at night.
Though Cordia was about as frightened as she had ever been, she suddenly became very aware that she was still wearing Will’s ring. She slid it off before Frieda turned back around and shoved it down the top of her dress. She decided to play nonchalant. “Oh, Frieda,” she said smiling, “don’t you know I sometimes like to go for walks? I was just out for a little stroll.”
Frieda didn’t seem to be buying the story. “At two o’clock in the morning? You were out for a little stroll? Miss Cordia, I saw you coming out of those woods, and I am pretty sure I heard a horse. Now, are you going to tell me what you were doing, or am I just gonna have to assume you’ve been giving information to a spy?”
Cordia’s eyebrows furrowed. “Spy?” she repeated, almost laughing at the ridiculous question. “Why in the world would I be talking to a spy?”
By now, her parents had, apparently, been awakened, and Cordia could hear them scurrying around next door. Frieda continued. “You been out giving information to raiders and marauders, haven’t you?” The door came open just in time for Cordia’s parents to hear the last words.
“What?” Cordia asked, amazed. “Frieda, you have known me my whole life. Do you honestly think I would be out giving information to spies? That’s ridiculous!”
Now her parents were demanding to know what was going on. Frieda began her accusation again, but Isaac and Jane were looking at Cordia, so she began to tell them the story she had fabricated earlier, just in case she got caught. “I woke up around one o’clock from a terrible nightmare about Jaris. It was awful. So much blood.” She could tell her parents were sympathetic. Her mother was making a tsk tsk sound with her tongue, so she continued to lay it on thick, even if she did feel bad about using Jaris that way. “Well, I couldn’t go back to sleep, so I decided to get dressed and go for a walk around the yard. But, when I got outside, I thought, it was such a pretty night, I would just walk down and look at the creek. That’s all. I didn’t see anyone else, and I certainly didn’t hear any horses.”
Frieda began to protest again, but Mr. and Mrs. Pike were tired and obviously unwilling to take the more complicated side of the story. “Come on Frieda,” Mr. Pike said, ushering the servant woman out the door. “What an imagination you have.”
“Get some sleep, dear,” Mrs. Pike, said hugging her daughter. “If you have any more bad dreams, you know your father and I are right next door. Wake us any time, darling. But please don’t go outside in this dew. I don’t want you getting sick.”
Cordia nodded and kissed her mother’s cheek. Finally, everyone cleared the room and Cordia was able to get back to bed. She did feel bad using Jaris as an excuse, but she also knew that her parents thought she could do no wrong the moment his name was mentioned. And besides, it’s not as if he had never gotten her into trouble to save himself when they were children. She changed into her nightdress and slipped the ring back onto her finger, tucking her hand under her pillow where no one coming into her room might see.
* * *
Normally, Cordia loved to hear the sound of the train whistle. That dreary morning, as she stood outside in the rain watching black smoke billow from its iron lungs, she thought it must be the most lamentable sound in the world. She had wanted to wear black to match her melancholy mood, but she knew that would be questionable. So instead, she put on one of her best gowns and tried to make herself as beautiful as possible so that Will could remember her as such. She was quite sure, however, that he would look into her eyes and see that her true feelings were anything but the light, airy mood she was trying to suggest.
She had not had a chance to hug Will at the train depot. His aunt, uncle, cousins, sister, even her own mother, had been able to. She waited in the back, trying to make herself unnoticeable, trying to make herself seem only as dismayed as one should be who was saying goodbye to their good friend’s brother, not the man she loved. He had said all of his goodbyes, looked at her momentarily, and waved, before jumping lightly aboard the train. She stood there, umbrella in hand, watching him go, wanting to hold on to him for even one more second, if that was possible. She held Julia’s hand in the guise of comforting her friend as the train became smaller and smaller, and finally disappeared. Julia had tears streaming down her face, and Cordia was hoping that Julia would think the solitary drop that ran down from one eye was purely sympathetic. She quickly wiped it away, looking to see if Julia had noticed. She didn’t seem as if she did, and slowly, the two girls turned and followed the rest of their families back to the waiting carriages. Finally, Cordia turned to Julia and said sympathetically, “You are going to miss your brother a lot.”
“Yes,” Julia agreed. “And you are going to miss your new fiancé.”

Cordia's Will: A Civil War Story of Love and Loss
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