Carey
March 1862
“Let the blessings of spring be bountiful, and let our hearts be open in this time of new life and new promise. In Jesus blessed name we ask these things, Amen.”
Cordia had been trying to listen to Rev. Jacobson’s sermon, but her mind was full of turbulence these days, and she was having trouble concentrating on the outside world. Thankfully, she had been hearing from Will on a regular basis. Throughout the winter, there had been little need to worry, as his unit had not been very active, only a small skirmish from time to time. Yet, as the days started to grow long again, and all things dead seemed to reawaken, she grew more worried that the spring would change its role from bringer of life to the season of mourning. With warmer weather, more battles were apt to happen, more lives likely to be lost. And though Will had promised he would return, part of her still agonized over the idea that he might not be able to keep that promise.
Cordia followed her mother out of the narrow pew, her father behind. Her mind was still lost in thought, and it wasn’t until she was outside of the double doors that she realized someone behind her had been calling her name. She turned around and glanced behind, her but whoever it was must have still been inside. Continuing on her way, she was suddenly caught by the arm from behind. She whirled around to see familiar, icy eyes staring into hers. “Why, Carey Adams, you frightened me.”
He smiled at her now, which Cordia thought quite strange. Carey had never seemed to have anything but torture in mind when it came to her. “Cordia Pike, you are still the picture of beauty,” he said. He was wearing his military uniform, a cape draped around his shoulders.
“I am quite surprised to see you. I thought you would be gone for the duration, as much as you like to hurt things.” She couldn’t help but be a little sharp-tongued. She was not exactly fond of this man.
But Carey was not offended. He threw back his head and laughed. “I would still be a’fightin’ with the rest of them, miss, but they sent me home.”
It was then that Cordia got a glimpse of what was underneath that cape. She could not help but gasp in horror at the sight of Carey’s pinned-up, empty sleeve. For a moment, she almost thought this was another one of his mean tricks, just to make her feel sick. But she could tell by his expression that he had truly suffered this calamity and now would have to go through life with only one arm. “I am truly sorry for your loss,” she finally managed to say.
He nodded his head in agreement. “Many have given much more,” he said as solemnly as Cordia had ever heard him speak. Then he added, “I am surprised to see you wearing such a bright colored dress. Shouldn’t you still be wearing black?”
Cordia was momentarily confused. Then, she realized what he was implying. “Oh,” she began, looking down at her bright blue dress. “I was never required to wear black. Jaris….” She was slowed by the look of amazement on his face. She continued, “Jaris wasn’t my husband.”
Carey’s face seemed to grow sterner, a look Cordia was more familiar with. “Yes, I know,” he stated. “But, as much as the two of you loved each other, well, I expected you would be in mourning, regardless of the fact that you never actually stood before the preacher.”
Cordia could feel the heat rising in her cheeks. Why was it any of Carey’s concerns whether or not she was wearing black? “I am in mourning, Lt. Adams,” she said sharply. “I will be in mourning for years to come. That does not mean that I am required to wear black. Believe me, the loss of such a fine man has marred the hearts of many in this town, my own included. Now, if you will excuse me, I think my parents are waiting for me.” Fortunately, they were, and she was able to climb aboard the waiting wagon and leave without him following her. At least not on foot. She could feel his cold blue stare trailing her until they rounded the corner onto Broadway Street. She shuddered.
Her mother must have thought the March wind was getting to her because she wrapped her own shawl around Cordia’s shoulders. “Here, dear. Don’t want you to catch cold.”
“I’m fine, Mama,” she said, but her mother didn’t seem to agree as the shawl stayed in place.
“Saw Carey Adams talking to you,” her father began. “Fine soldier. Too bad about his arm. Hear he is going to be placed in charge of the city militia, though. That’ll be good for us.” Despite the fact that her father was a Union man, he had the utmost respect for the entire Adams family, Carey included.
Cordia didn’t comment. She didn’t want to think about having to see Carey Adams every day for the rest of her life. She began to consider how completely unfair it was that someone like Carey got to come home while Will was still out there fighting. But then, she remembered the awful sight of that pinned-up sleeve and was hopeful that, when Will did come home, he would come home all in one piece.
The next day, Cordia was elated to receive a letter from Will. She immediately took it over to Julia to share its contents with her friend. Though Julia had not been able to completely understand the rapidity of Cordia and Will’s relationship, she had, in the months following Will’s departure, accepted the fact that her brother and her dear friend were in love. And even though Cordia still made the same efforts toward Julia as she always had, she could tell that Julia did not see her in the same light as she had before. Nevertheless, she still spent many days at the Adams Farm, passing time with her would-be sister-in-law. Through the winter, Julia had been battling her tuberculosis off and on. Now that spring was arriving, she seemed to be feeling better. Still, she had not been able to make it to church the day before. Cordia would also need to relay her conversation with Carey Adams. She knew that, when it came to Carey, she and Julia shared a common sentiment of loathing.