Goodbye
A few hours into Will’s vigil, he realized that Julia’s breathing had changed. The door to her bedroom was ajar, and he could hear his aunt bustling around, keeping herself busy. “Aunt Margaret,” he said as loudly as he could muster. “I think you should probably come in here.”
Margaret had been present at quite a few deaths over the years. Thankfully, most of them had been the passing of elderly members of her family, such as her grandparents, though she had watched her mother breath her last at the age of fifty-two. She had always regretted not being there for her brother and his wife, Will’s parents, but they had lived such reclusive lives. She didn’t even know they were sick until after they had passed. Entering the room, she could tell immediately that Julia’s time had come. Her breathing was very shallow and uneven. Several seconds passed between breaths. Catching Will’s eye, Margaret nodded solemnly.
He moved from the chair to the bed then, taking her hand in his. Already, her diminutive hand was icy, her fingertips a light shade of blue. He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the forehead. “Goodbye, sweet sister. May the angels guide you as you take flight. You will be at peace at last,” he whispered softly into her ear.
Julia took one last breath and then she was gone. Will kissed her one more time before folding her hands across her chest and framing her hair around her face. He couldn’t help but think how angelic she truly did look, her sweet face resting peacefully at last. Despite having witnessed the horrors of war, seeing his friends blown to bits on the battlefield before his very eyes, the realization that the last of his family had left him brought him to tears, and he began to sob uncontrollably. His aunt was there then, wrapping her arms around him and allowing him to be vulnerable, allowing him to grieve. She said nothing, just held him, wiping her own tears away. Julia had come to be the daughter she had always longed for, and it would not be easy going on without her. They would have to pull together as a family to make it through yet another loss of one so young.
It was quite some time before Will was able to regain his composure. This was precisely why he had asked Cordia to go to her parents’ house. Though he knew she would not judge him for being human, he did not want his new wife to see him so full of despair. He was thankful, however, that his aunt was there to comfort him. When he was finally able to speak, he wiped away his tears and looked up at her, saying, “Thank you, Aunt Margaret. I don’t know what we would have done without you these past two years.”
“There, there,” she replied, still rubbing his back. “Y’all are my family. We love you dearly. We were so lucky to have been able to spend the time with sweet Julia. She really was a gift from God.”
Will nodded, unable to speak again. He glanced back at his sister and realized, the longer he stayed in this room, the more tears he would shed. “I think I need to get some air,” he said, standing.
Margaret let him go. “Take your time. We’ll wait until morning to let Dr. Walters and the proper parties know. Ain’t no use in bringing anyone out this time of night.”
Will nodded his understanding, but he did not turn around. He walked through the kitchen and the side room that used to hold his cot, out onto the small porch on the side of the house. Upon opening the door, the smell of pipe smoke hit him in the face, and he realized his uncle was sitting there in his old wooden rocking chair, staring up at the stars.
Will said nothing but sat down in another chair, wishing he had taken up smoking or that he had a stiff drink. Since he had neither, he settled for gazing up at the sky, letting the cool November wind blow away his tears.
Arthur wasn’t precisely sure how to ask the question that was hanging on his tongue. Finally, he said simply, “All over then?”
Will nodded, knowing that words were dangerous just now.
Pondering his answer for a few moments, Arthur eventually said, “I’m so sorry to hear that. We’ll miss her somethin’ awful.”
Again, Will mustered a nod. Over the past two years he had grown accustomed to missing Julia. Now, he knew that, from time to time, he might forget that she was gone, might catch himself thinking he would see her again someday, when he came to visit his aunt and uncle. Those were the types of thoughts that often ended up being the most painful, and he was not looking forward to such situations at all.
They sat in silence for quite some time and, in the darkness, Will began to realize just how much he missed Cordia. He was certainly thankful she had not been present for his emotional breakdown, but he had become acclimated to having her nearby. He knew this night would be endless and restless either way, but at least, if Cordia were there, he would have someone to comfort and distract him. He began to ponder the possibility of showing up at her parents’ house but assumed that they were probably all in bed as late as it was. How he was ever going to make it through this night alone, he was not sure.
Just then, he caught a whiff of smoke on the air. Not pipe smoke, but something else. He looked at his uncle who sat up straight in his chair, obviously smelling it, too. “What’s that?” Will asked, standing.
“Not sure,” Arthur replied also jumping out of his chair. They both walked down off of the porch, out into the yard. It didn’t take them long to see where the smell was coming from or what had started the fire. A band of horsemen rode off into the night, leaving their mark on the Adams Farm.
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