Declaration
Cordia looked at the letters as if she had never seen paper before. “What’s this?” she asked.
“One of them, I have to apologize, I should have mailed a long time ago. The other one, I wrote just the night before the battle.”
“Oh.” Cordia turned the papers over again and again in her hands. Though he had held her hand and played with her hair, she had questioned whether or not he was doing these things out of kindness, and familiarity of seeing a face he recognized. She had been sure that, if he truly reciprocated the emotions she had articulated in her letters, not only would he have written her back—and sent the letters—but upon seeing her, he would have expressed his undying love for her, or something of that nature. His refusal to return to Lamar only served to further convince her that he did not feel the same way about her as she did about him and she was just beginning to wonder how she was possibly going to go on with Jaris gone and Will rejecting her. Now, she didn’t know what to think. Though these letters could certainly be only friendly in nature, she dared to hope that maybe he cared for her a little after all. “Thank you.”
“Sorry I didn’t write more.”
She nodded again, not sure what else to say. “Well, I had better go find Frieda,” she said, starting to turn to the door, the letters still hanging from her hand; she had no idea what to do with them.
As she turned to go, he said her name. She paused at the foot of the makeshift bed. Now, somehow, he found the strength to prop himself up on his elbows. “Cordia, please forgive me for saying this right now. After all, you just found out your fiancé has passed on, my own cousin, and you’re standing there with his ring on your finger. But I did want you to know....” Will paused, an expression of torment on his face, as if he wasn’t sure whether or not to continue.
“Yes?” Cord asked, hope bubbling up insider her that perhaps she would hear the words she’d been longing to hear for months. He was staring at her, as if he was trying to memorize her face.
“I’m sorry to look so hard at you, Cordia, but it had done me well to do so on the last occasion I was able to gaze upon your face.”
Cord felt the heat rising in her cheeks.
“I apologize for my forwardness,” he said, looking away from her for a second. “I’ve never said this to anyone before.”
“That’s all right,” she said, her eyes wide with wonderment, holding her breath as she waited for him to find the words.
“Cordia Pike, I do love you.”
At first, she thought her ears were deceiving her, but by the look on his face, she knew she had heard correctly. And just as she was about to run back to his side, throw her arms around his neck, kiss him a thousand times—proper or not--she felt Frieda’s hand on her arm.
“Here you are!” she was saying, as if she had searched the world twice over. “Running off like that, couldn’t believe my eyes. You shock me every day, Cordia Pike.”
Cordia turned to look at her, as if she had never laid eyes on the woman before. “Please don’t think me improper for being concerned about a friend,” she said smartly.
“Oh, Cordia, you deal with this however you need to, child. Now, come on, we’ve got the lieutenant loaded up. We need to go home.” Then, as if she hadn’t even noticed him until now, she turned to Will and said, “Oh, good. You’re alive.”
Cordia sighed. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
“But, Cordia...”
“I said I will be out in a minute!” That was enough to shut even Frieda up. She threw her hands up in the air, turned on her heels, and stormed out of the church.
“You’ll be hearing about that all the way home,” Will said.
She was walking back over to him now, nodding her head. “Yes, but I don’t care. I will think of you every day, every minute, every second,” she said taking his hand in hers.
He nodded, “Just try to pay attention to others while you’re doing so,” he smiled.
“How do you know me so well already?” she asked.
“I don’t know, but I do. Send Jules my love?”
“Of course. Get plenty of rest, and don’t get out of that bed—pew—whatever it is—until the doctors say you can.”
“Anything you say.”
“All right, I really have to go now.” She leaned over and kissed him quickly on the forehead, but that wasn’t enough for him, and as she started to stand back up, he gently nudged her head back down, finding her lips with his. Relief washed over her as she breathed him in, thinking of all the days she’d longed to feel him again, just to know he was alive.
As much as Cordia wanted to stay there with him, to never let him out of her sight, she feared Frieda may come looking for her again. Reluctantly, she pulled away. “Goodbye, Will Tucker,” she said squeezing his hand.
“See you by and by, Cordia Pike,” he replied, still looking longingly into her hazel eyes.
As she made her way out of the church, she tucked Will’s letters into her waistband. It was not going to be easy to keep from reading them on the way back, but she couldn’t let Frieda see them. She glanced back at him one last time, and he lifted his hand slowly. Cordia took a deep breath and turned away.
When she stepped outside, she was relieved to see that Frieda had pulled the wagon over in front of the church so she didn’t have to cross back through that field. Despite missing Will already, Cordia was as ready to get out of that horrible place as she could possibly be. As she climbed into the wagon seat, she couldn’t help herself but to look into the back. Frieda had wrapped the body in one of the sheets she had brought with them. It was still very hard to believe that her dear friend was gone. “Let’s go home,” she said, taking the reins.
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