Chapter 109: Fear

I finished showering and dressed. Even though I was clean, I still felt dirty. It was like every time I looked down, I could still see the blood all over me even though it wasn't there. I wore another pair of jeans and a long-sleeved black shirt with some sequin decoration. I chose a pair of new black sneakers to put on.
I looked longingly at my new leather jacket from the brothers. It hung on my desk chair but was still covered in blood. I wished I could wear it right now, but there was no way that was a good idea. I wanted to stay as far away from blood and gore as I could for a while. I could feel myself already starting to break. Even the bullet casings on the floor were getting me worked up.
I sucked in a breath and left my room. I could see Kezia in the kitchen from the hall balcony. Amy was sitting at the counter, eating a grilled cheese sandwich. Kezia was talking animatedly, and Amy was giggling. At least someone around here was feeling happy.
I walked down the stairs. Kezia's eyes followed me. She gave me the same look many of the brothers had. Fear. I was going to have to get used to that. Hell, I was afraid of me.
I hit the bottom step. Aylin was snoozing on the couch. His coat was draped over a kitchen chair. It looked a little beat up but didn't have any blood on it. He was probably tasked with keeping these two safe during the whole thing. No, I couldn't avoid that word. During the battle. And it was just a battle. Things were over. The darkness wasn't dead. There was going to be more fighting. More blood. Even... death.
Air caught in my throat. I'd forgotten how to breathe. I sputtered and coughed. Amy spun her head at me. Aylin jumped up from the couch.
I held my hand out. "I'm okay. I just sucked up a bug or dust or something. It's fine. As you were."
I headed over to the kitchen. Kezia eyed me as I stood at the counter. "Do you... want one?" The way she was looking at me made me feel like I was an unwelcome guest that she couldn't deny.
I didn't want to make her more uncomfortable. "No, it's fine. I just wanted to check on you two. Are you okay?"
Kezia nodded quickly. "All good."
Amy smiled weakly. She wouldn't meet my eyes. "Yep, we're fine."
"Okay, then." I turned and left them alone. I was glad to get out there. The tension in the air was so tight I felt like it was sucking the air out of me.
I found Liam on the stairs as I was walking down.
"Beloved, I was just coming to get you," he growled. "You should have waited for me."
I ignored him. "I want to see Mr. Kline."
He frowned. "What do you want to see Kline for?"
"He might have answers. He was working with Mila, the darkness. He might know what she is up to."
"He's not here."
"I know. I want you to take me to him."
"I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why? Because I shouldn't leave or because you've beaten the crap out of him?"
"Both."
"I'll be careful. And you can beat him up as much as you want. I don't care about that piece of shit."
Liam grumbled something, then turned around and led the way. He made me wait at the bar with Cherry while he disappeared to get some backup.
"What's got Liam in a mood this time?" She asked.
"I'm pretty sure he's always like this now. I think I just pissed him off enough that he's had a personality shift."
Cherry eyed me suspiciously. "I don't think he's pissed off. I think he's worried about you."
I sipped on a scotch on the rocks. "I'm worried about me, too."
"I think we're all worried about you. What you did..." She shook her head. "I'm glad you're on our side."
"Me, too." Images of the battle flooded my mind. "Taking out vampires and those clawed things was hard, but they didn't really resemble people very much. I just kind of shut it off. It was survival. Kill or be killed, I guess, is what they say. But if I had to fight against people, people like us, I don't know if I would have done as well."
She gave me a sympathetic look. "It's never easy, but you do learn to push it aside. Just focus on what you are fighting for. Kill or be killed. Protect the brotherhood. Without this faction, a lot of innocent people will suffer. We keep them safe."
"How are they doing right now? Has The Grange attacked any of them yet?"
Cherry shook her head. "The brothers are doing their best to keep the patrols up. They drew them over to the bar to avoid getting families killed. Otherwise, a lot of innocents would have died."
I nodded. "That's good. Let's keep it that way." I took a big drink of the scotch. "I'm going to see what I can get out of Mr. Kline. He might be able to shed some light on what The Grange wants with Kezia and me."
"I thought you ordered him returned?"
"Liam decided to keep him for torture."
Cherry frowned. "That's why they attacked."
"No. It's not. Mr. Kline is just a pawn. The darkness doesn't care about him. It wants Kezia or me so it can finish its spell. I've been up against it before. Trust me. Liam did not do this."
"Okay. What are you going to do when you see him?"
"I'm going to figure out what's going on. I'm tired of guessing. I'm tired of putting people's lives in danger."
"Are you going to kill him?"
I stared down at the scotch glass. "I might."
"Are you going to be okay with that?"
I thought back to how helpless he made me feel when he controlled me with his magic, how he watched me in the cell.
"Yes."
"Are you sure about that?"
"Definitely."
Liam came with five guys following him. "Are you ready?"
I turned to Cherry. "Can you get my jacket cleaned? It's in my room."
"I'll get right on it."
I nodded to Liam. "Let's go."