Chapter 34: Guilt

Chapter 34: Guilt

Lanie dragged me out of the forest. My feet felt wooden. My legs barely moved even though I was consciously make every step to follow her. I felt like they just wouldn't move fast enough. We walked through the empty darkened streets. With her here, I didn't feel the darkness pressing in around me like before. I felt safe. Maybe it was the first time in my life that I felt this way.

I pointed her in the direction of my apartment then fumbled with the keys as I unlocked the front door. When it opened, Anton looked up from the couch in the living/makeshift bedroom.

"Where's Mila? Whoa, there are two of you?" He asked.

I stared dumbly at him. I felt so empty inside. I didn't know how to handle this.

Lanie rescued me. "I'm her sister. I'm visiting from Salt Lake."

A skeptical look went over his face for a moment.

She continued to look at him. "I'm sure Kira must have mentioned me. I was studying to be a teacher.

A strange sensation hit me like a wave. It felt like it rippled through the room. Anton smiled and nodded. "Oh right. Lanie. I remember."

Lanie turned to me. "I'm kind of tired, Kira, can you show me to your room?"

I nodded slowly and pointed down the hall.

"Great, come on." She grabbed my hand and dragged me after her.

Once the door was closed, Lanie breathed a sigh of relief.

"What just happened?" I asked.

She stared at me for a moment. "Do you remember that you're my sister?"

I nodded dumbly.

"Like, you just found out or you've known me for my whole life?"

"Just found out."

She cocked an eyebrow at me. "Are you immune to the Veil?"

"Remi told me about the Veil, it rewrites people's memories."

She nodded. "To cover up the supernatural. Sometimes, you can manipulate people's memories just by acting like something happened. The Veil will take it as an opportunity to fix something supernatural in their memory and rewrite it. It doesn't always work. I've been off the grid for a long time. My sudden appearance will probably upset the Veil. We can use that to our advantage and make people remember things how we want them to, or at least we can try."

"How do you know so much about this stuff?"

Lanie let out a long tired sigh and collapsed on the bed. "Isabell trained me for this. I didn't really realize it at the time and I thought it was all over. I separated her mind, body, and soul. It looks like she found a way to escape and she is using you to do it."

I looked over at her laying on the bed in my hoodie. "You were in a psych ward."

Lanie laid hard eyes on me. "Yeah, sort of."

"So, you're crazy." I said.

"If I'm crazy, what are you?"

I blinked at her. I was crazy. All of this was crazy. What else could this be? I pushed on. There was one more thing I needed to know.

"Why didn't you come get me sooner?"

She shook her head. "I didn't know about you. Now, it all makes sense."

I shrugged. "What?"

"Twins. There is a ritual Isabell did and I think she wants to steal our power. It's why she always pushed me to increase mine. By her hiding you from me, I wouldn't be able to mess up her plans. On the night of our fifteen birthday, I found she was preparing me for a sacrifice. I was glad I was ready."

I thought back to six years ago when I turned fifteen. We turned fifteen. Shortly after that, Mom was committed to the insane asylum.

"Wait, you did all this when you were fourteen?"

Lanie nodded. "My training started young. People with magic usually get killed off for their power by other creatures. We're delicious snacks for them. I think that our mother did something to channel all of your power to me to keep you safe, because I feel nothing coming off of you. You feel like you have less of a spark than normal humans."

I wasn't sure how that was supposed to make me feel. Maybe, I truly was worthless. Like I truly was nothing.

"Hey, now. Don't cry."

"I don't cry," I brushed her hand away.

She shrugged. "Okay, cry baby."

I think that was supposed to cheer me up, but it didn't. I felt even worse. And I was the one that killed Mila. That thought crushed me. Tears flooded my eyes. I bit my lip to keep myself from sobbing.

Lanie reached over and tried to pat me on the shoulder, but it seemed hard for her. It was like she wasn't sure how to react to a person crying. Hell, for that matter, I didn't know how to react with myself crying. I stood abruptly and went to the bathroom. Lanie let me go.

I stood in the mirror. My eyes were starting to swell. I had big blotches of red forming on my cheeks and neck. I needed to pull myself together. There was nothing I could do about Mila now. I had ruined it all. First the darkness, then me. It was my fault and I needed to own that. Fresh tears welled in my eyes. I didn't know how to get over it.

"Remi," I whispered. "Please tell me it's not true."

Nothing happened. The lights didn't dim. The shadows didn't coalesce. I was left alone in the bathroom staring at my pathetic self. How could I have so easily been duped?

"Remi, please..." I begged.

A shadow covered my hand. I could see just the finger tips.

"I'm sorry," Remi's husky voice whispered in my ear.

"Why?" My hoarse voice asked, but he was gone. The shadows vanished and I was on my own again.

Grey eyes appeared in the mirror beside me. The way Lanie's face looked exactly like mine was unnerving. Her hair fell the same way. Her eyes blinked the same. Even most of her mannerisms were similar. I didn't spend that much time looking at myself, but even I could see that much. The more I stared the more I realize that we were exactly the same. Even down to the freckles I refused to see. I leaned closer in the mirror. She had the exact same ones in the exact same spots.

"Are you okay?" Lanie asked.

I nodded as I pulled back from the mirror. I don't how I would be okay, but fake it until you make it, right? I plastered on a smile that looked like a grimace. Lanie frowned. She definitely didn't believe me. She caught sight of the black spiral on my arm.

"What's this?"

"I got it the first time Mila died." I quickly told her the story of the last week or so, including the trip to my father's house, my visit to Mother, and the spell Mother had me do. I left out the parts about Remi rescuing me. I had a feeling she wouldn't much like that. She already distrusted him.

Lanie's frown deepened with each leg of my story. As I recounted it, I realized how many mistakes I had made. My blind trust in the people around me had led me to make a terrible decision. The guilt weighed on me.

When I finished, Lanie didn't say anything. We had moved to the bed sometime during the course of the story. She sat cross-legged looking at me, but without seeing me as she was deep in thought.

Finally, she said, "Don't be too hard on yourself. You made the best decisions you could based on the information you had. If I had been put in that position, I may have done the same thing."

"So, what do we do now?" I asked.

"We? I don't think so. You may have made the best decisions you could have, but I have better information than you. You are staying far away from this. I will fix this."

I couldn't help but feel offended, but I did agree with her. I made a mess of things. Tears burned behind my eyes. I wiped them away with the sleeve of my shirt.

"Come on now, don't turn into a puddle. Would you want you on your team in this situation?"

I shook my head.

"Right so, let me figure this out. Actually there is something you can do to help me."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Let me stay here. You keep going to work and I'll see if I can straighten this out."

"Can you get Mila back?"

She looked at me with so much doubt as she said, "I'll see what I can do."

My heart sank. Mila was gone for good and it was all my fault.

"So, is that a deal?" She asked.

I nodded. I didn't feel like I was really helping, but if there was anyone I could trust, I felt like Lanie was probably my best bet. She was my twin, after all.

She reached down and pulled Mila's bag on to the bed. "I have one more question for you." She unzipped the bag. "Where did these come from?" She asked as she pulled two baby blankets out from the bag.

I shook my head. I had them stored in my stuff at my dad's house, well I thought he was my dad. It's my baby blankets. I scrunched my brow. I had two baby blankets. That was sort of weird, wasn't it?"

"Did you bring this when you summoned me?"

I shook my head again.

"So, Mila did. Wasn't Mila the darkness?"

I nodded. "Wait, was she helping me summon you? Why would she...?"

"That is a very good question. Why would the darkness be helping you summon me?" Her face drew down in a very deep frown. "And Remi was in on it. Isabell must be the darkness."

A hole grew deep in my heart. Lanie was so good at piecing these bits together. It had all been right in front of me, but I couldn't see past my feelings. I still couldn't seem to accept it though. Every part of me wanted her to be wrong, but both dark Mila and Remi had set me up.