Chapter 54: Lost

I found myself in the dark. I felt strange. I tried to feel. I tried to tap my chest, but there was nothing there. I couldn't touch anything. My feet weren't on anything either. I was floating, like I was in water. But I as breathing. Or was I? I looked around. The more I strained my eyes, the less a saw. It was just dark.

I tried to will myself to move. I couldn't tell if I was or wasn't, there was no sensation. I gave that up pretty quick. The last thing I remembered was seeing my soul leave my body. Maybe this was it. Maybe this was death. I reeled. I recounted all the events. When I finished, I did it again. When I finished with that, I had nothing to do. So, well... I did it from further back, until I was recounting my whole life. And then I did it again. It was all I had to do. I just contemplated my whole just barely fifteen years of life over and over again. With each iteration, feelings flared to life. With every repeat they grew stronger.

At the end of each iteration, I was filled with so much hate. I hated Isabell. She was no longer Mother. I hated Remi, he had left me, he had betrayed me. I still couldn't work through the spells in my head. I only saw them. I couldn't think anything new. All I could do was replay it over and over. If I still had a mind, I would have gone crazy. Instead, I just felt the emotions.

I could have floated there for eons. I could have been there for ten minutes. Time meant nothing. All I had was my memories and feelings.

Then I was feeling something new, a pulling sensation. It dragged me. Up or down, I couldn't tell, but it was almost inward, or was it outward. I wasn't sure. I was slammed back into my body. The sudden sensations were overwhelming. I crumpled into a heap. I felt everything. I felt pain. I felt my blood pumping. I felt breathing. I was alive! My breath shuttered as I gulped in the air. Memories flooded me. They were mine, but they weren't mine. They were from my body. I had a body again!

Someone was saying something. They were shining a light on me. I couldn't see beyond the light. I looked up at them.

"What the fuck!" The woman shouted as she stumbled backward and fell. There was something about her voice that was oddly familiar. It wasn't Isabell.

"Can you get this light out of my eyes?" I asked her. I tried to lean out of the way of the harsh light. My arms were tied down. Wait, and I knew why. Those memories, they were from my body. My body was in an insane asylum. I had been crazy? Of course I had been crazy, I didn't have a soul...

The woman finally tilted the flashlight down. "Who are you?" She asked.

I shook the blonde hair out of my eyes. It was so nice to have hair again, except it was long. "Lanie."

"Why do... why do you look like me?"

I looked like her? "What? Look, can you just get this off of me?" I squirmed. I wanted to be able to feel again. This straight-jacket was so restrictive.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

This woman was pissing me off. "Look, trust me, don't trust me. I don't care. Just get me out of this thing."

The lady looked around. Was she an idiot? What was she waiting for? I wiggled. I couldn't wait to just open and close my hands again. I needed to move. I sighed heavily as I waited for her to make a decision.

"Okay, fine, but no funny stuff."

I snorted. If I wanted to kill this woman I would be able to do it in a second. I was smaller and faster. She was old and slow. "Yeah, sure. You just summoned me and you think I'm the one doing funny stuff?"

She loosened the buckles. I could finally breathe again. The jacket came up over my head and I was naked. Whoa, and I had breasts. What the hell? I covered them with my arms. They were like sizable, too. Not huge, but not like before.

"Do you happen to have a shirt?"

"Oh, umm, yes. Here." She pulled the black sweatshirt over her head then reached out with it.

"Thanks." I slipped it on over my head. My hands were so much bigger than I remembered. This was such an odd sensation. This body was mine, but it was older. I stood and brushed the dirt and leaves off the white pants. I turned to her. She clearly wanted something. If she was powerful enough to summon me from across existence, she didn't do it for nothing. "Now that you've brought me all the way here, what can I do for you?"

She blinked. "What?"

"You summoned me."

"I did?"

Was this girl completely stupid? "You just did some top level magic shit and you don't even know why you did it? Wait..." I snatched up a fallen flip phone. Next to it was a crumpled piece of paper. I grabbed that, too, then shined the light on her face. Whoa. "Holy shit."

"What?"

"You do look like me." I touched her face. She was me, but she was older. This is what I looked like now. She stepped away from me. I couldn't believe it. "Who's your father?"

"Daniel Hatfield."

I shook my head. I didn't recognize the name. "And your mother?"

"Isabell Grey."

Damn, she was my sister. She was my twin. She was my other half. She was all the bad things Isabell had locked away in me. "Pandora," I whispered in realization.

"What? Never mind. Where's Mila?"

"Who's Mila?"

"My friend, well sister..." She shook her head. "This spell was supposed to expel the darkness living inside her."

The darkness? The dark cloud? It was here, too. I held up the phone and illuminated the circle. "This is clearly a summoning circle. How can you not see that? Even says to summon your sister." I held the paper out to her.

"Mila is my sister. Well, I just found out we share a father."

I shook my head. So, she was my sister, too. What had Isabell gotten us into? "It's to summon me. I'm your sister. You didn't share a womb with her, only the seed. We share both. We're twins."

My twin's face went white. "What happened to Mila?"

I held the paper to her chest. "You traded her in for me." And I never even got the chance to meet her.

"I what? No, no, wait. What?"

I pointed to the paper. "Right here. You offered up your friend's soul in trade to find me. That was the power it took to bring me here." She definitely was all the worst parts of me. She was slow and stupid.

She shook her head. "No, I didn't. No. I was trying to save her." She looked like she was going to cry.

Poor thing. She never had a chance without my good parts. I cringed.

"Where is she?" She whined.

I tried to summon up some compassion. It wasn't really my thing, but I did try. I shook my head. "She's dead. Well, worse actually. She doesn't exist anymore. Her soul was used as power. It's neither dead nor alive. It's just gone."

My twin fell to the ground in a heap like a five-year-old. She held her knees to her chest. "Remi!" She called. "Remi, Remi," she begged.

"Remi?" I looked around. "Like Remi, Remi? Tall, dark, and full of trouble, Remi?" My heart jumped at the thought of seeing him again and then my hatred took over. I covered her mouth. Her tears ran over my hand. It took all of my control not to shake them off. "Don't speak his name. Is he the one who got you to do this spell?"

She nodded.

"Mother... fuck." Remi was still helping her. She brought me back to finish the spell. "Look, don't trust Remi. Not a single word he says. He's a self-interested bastard. If you're going to blame someone for your friend's death, blame him. You've been set up."

She pulled away. "It must be a mistake."

I grabbed her arm and pulled her up to her feet. "Come on. We need to get somewhere safe. Do you have a house or something?"

"An apartment."

"Okay, let's go." I collected up two fallen backpacks before we left. Any evidence I could collect would be helpful if I was going to figure out what the hell Isabell had planned.