Chapter 119: Dreamscape

The darkness pressed in around me. It was cold and tingled my skin. The darkness expanded outward. A figure stood at a distance. So far, it was only vaguely human-shaped. I squinted, but there was no light. I was standing in empty dreamspace, just like I had been when Isabell had called on me. Except this wasn't Isabell, it couldn't be. It didn't feel like her.
The figure floated closer. Slowly the edges of her defined into the small shape of Mila. She stopped about ten feet away from me. She still looked like Mila, but her presence was huge. Even though my eyes saw her the same, she felt like she took up so much more space, the monster under the mask.
"Where's Kezia? Where's Amy?" I asked.
Mila smiled that too big grin with too many teeth. My stomach flipped in fear.
"Why do you need them? Are you trying to bring Isabell back?"
She chuckled. "Isabell? No, she did her job." The darkness made Mila's voice sound more on the gravelly side. It made her seem older and more haunted.
"Then what? What are you after?"
"Come work for me."
"I'm not dead. You can't buy my contract."
"Not yet, but you keep tangling in those factions, and you have no idea what you are doing." She made a show of looking at her nails. "You'll die sooner or later." She looked up at me with dark eyes. "Pledge your contract to me now, and I can guarantee you a quick, painless death."
I narrowed my eyes at her. "Definitely not."
Mila snapped her fingers. Remi appeared behind her and to her left. "What if I could promise you him?"
My eyes flickered to him. My breath tightened in my chest. I wanted to free him so badly. I, at least, wanted the chance to try. Maybe talk to him about why he was contracted with her in the first place. He must have read it in my face because he shook his head ever so slightly.
The word was so hard to say. I pressed it out between my gritted teeth. "No."
A smile curved on the edge of Mila's lips. She knew she had hit me where it hurt. She snapped her fingers. Remi disappeared. "No matter. I have Kezia. She'll be dead at the end of two days. You have until then to do something about it."
"Why would you tell me? Why give me any warning?"
The smile deepened.
"You know how I feel about family. Why should I care about a cousin I never met? I'll walk away from her just like I did to my father."
Mila shrugged her shoulders. "Okay. I get what I want either way." She turned and started walking away.
I wanted to say something. I wanted to shout and scream at her, but before I could summon the breath to do it, I realized it didn't matter. Nothing I said was going to change this. Venting my rage was only going to make me feel better and let her know that her goading worked. I let out the air and just watched her figure vanish into the dark empty space.
I stood in the dreamscape for a long time. After a while, I realized that I didn't know how to get out. I wasn't going to suddenly wake up. I was still surrounded by nothing but dark empty space with a solid floor. It all felt real enough, but at the same time, I knew it wasn't real. I closed my eyes and willed myself awake. That didn't seem to work.
After five minutes of trying, I gave up. I opened my eyes. Nothing had changed. I stooped down and felt the floor. It felt solid, but it didn't have any other tense to it. I couldn't tell if it was smooth or rough, cold or hot. It was just solid and dark. I stood and walked across it. My feet didn't make any noise on it. I ran forward. The empty space around me didn't change. I also didn't feel like I was getting out of breath.
I stopped and looked around. What was this place? I had a vague recollection of what limbo was like. As I sifted through Lanie's memories, that old sense of rage came to the surface. It was that sense of betrayal that Remi had instilled in her and now me. The Kira in me wanted him, but the Lanie in me didn't trust him, which extended to Mila. Anything she said was only meant to manipulate me into making a decision in her favor.
So, did she say that to make me go after her or to stay away? If I stayed away, Kezia would certainly die. If I went, Kezia might still die and I might, too. The only way I could ensure that Kezia lived was if I could get a better handle on my magic. I needed to know I was strong enough to fight the darkness. I needed to learn from the strongest person I knew. There was only one I knew that could do that and would still talk to me.
"Juno," I said into the empty space. "I need your help." My voice disappeared into the empty space. It didn't echo; instead, it was just eaten up.
"Juno," I tried again. This time I put more of a command to it, like I was demanding her presence.
Pink clouds swirled in front of me. A figure materialized in the smoke. As the smoke dissipated, a curvy womanly figure stepped out of it.
"My daughter, it's so lovely to see you again."
I dipped my head in greeting. "Juno, thank you for seeing me."
She waved her hand, batting my words away. She stepped closer and circled me. "Oh my goodness, you are quite the mess. You have all sorts of magic clinging on to you." She finished her circle and put her hands on her hips. "What have you done to yourself?"
"I need your help. I don't know how to use this power. I have ruined this faction and gotten things all messed up. Can you teach me how to use it?"
She leaned forward and looked into my eyes. "Use it..." she hummed as she stared at me. She was uncomfortably close, but I didn't pull away. "How will you use it?"
"I want to defeat the darkness."
She pulled back in surprise. "You can't."
I blinked. "What do you mean I can't?" My stomach started to knot. She was my only hope.
"You are only a child. The darkness, as you call it, has been around for much longer. She has gained power over a century, whereas you have only been gaining power for three months. You are no match for her in your current state."
"That's why I want you to teach me."
She sucked her teeth as she shook her head. "Child, the kind of power you have will take a long time to master and the amount of power you need, well, you'd have to suck the energy out of thousands of magical beings to match her power. Besides, it's taken you this long just to ask for help. You don't have what it takes to bring her down."
I felt a deep sense of loss in the pit of my stomach, but then it grew to something more. I could feel my insides vibrate and grow hot. Rage started to form. It sloshed and settled. Before I knew it, words were shouting from my mouth.
"You gave me this power. You left me with it with no guide, no instructions. You just vanished. I don't know what the hell I'm doing, and now you're telling me I have no chance."
Juno cocked her head to the side until I finished. When the last words tumbled from my lips, her eyes lit pink. Her voice dropped into menace. "Daughter of Gemini, you forget yourself. I am Juno. I am the mother. You will speak to me with respect. I created you and can destroy your insignificant presence in a blink of an eyelash. Do not shout at me!"
I couldn't keep my body from trembling. My knees grew weak. The vertigo took over and I fell forward on my palms. I bowed my head in front of her as I stayed on my knees. When she finished, I tipped my face up to her just enough to see the enraged expression on her face.
"Yes, goddess. I am sorry. I forgot my place." I stared down at my hands. "Please teach me to use my powers better. I want to protect the people I care for."
Juno knelt in front of me. She lifted my chin to meet her gaze. The pink had vanished from her eyes. They were filled with love again. I wasn't going to be fooled this time, though. Her eyes were not the window to her soul.
"Child, you are still nameless. Until you figure out who you are, you cannot begin to develop your power. The ones you love will pass and fade away. You are of a different world now. Don't concern yourself with them. You have much to learn and, even more importantly, so much to decide. You will destroy lives and create beautiful things on your journey to developing your powers. Don't get so caught up in such trivial matters as these mortals. You are so much more."
I could feel tears welling in my eyes. "What do you mean, destroy lives?"
"You have already done so. You have killed one hundred and thirty-three people just the other night."
"No, no, I didn't mean..."
"Yes, you did, and in the process, you restored just as many. You kept a balance, and yet you didn't keep any for yourself. You have decided who lived and died, and yet you did not make yourself stronger. You are already making decisions that will develop your power, but without a name, the step you have taken is meaningless."
Tears streaked down my face. She was right. I had killed people. I had played god. I was a god. I was doing what a god did. I was judging their lives, messing with them. Shit. I didn't even realize it. "Juno... I... I..."
"You must choose a name."
I dropped my head. "I can't. I don't know what I'm doing." I lifted my head back to her. "Please name me, mother. Please..." I begged.
She stood and looked down on me. Her words bit out more harshly. "I cannot. I told you what you need to do. Do it. I cannot be of any more help." She gave me one more look like she was looking at something pathetic. She snapped her fingers, and the pink smoke puffed then vanished with her.