Chapter Forty Three

After my father was laid to rest, my brothers pleaded with me to stay a while in the house before going back to my house but I did not agree. I had already planned to go home after my father was laid to rest, but I didn't want to spend time with my brothers. I was not going to listen to any of them. The only person I ever listened to was dead and gone.

I was much angry with myself as I was angry with Francis and Gabe. I was angry with Gabe because he didn't listen to my father and Francis was the main cause of my father's death. If only he had not done what he did, I wouldn't have come home ranting like a mad woman. I just needed somebody to blame for my father's death.

If only I had left when I said my mind, my father would not have been six feet under. If only could not bring my father back, he was gone forever and I was never going to see him again probably till I die. My father was my rock, my adviser, my father, my everything. He has been the one taking care of us for a very long time since my mother died. He was both my father and mother.

We always advised him to remarry but he never agreed to it. He always said he couldn't marry another person that is not my mother. I understood his love for my mother but I also knew he was lonely sometimes even though he did not agree he was.

I remembered the first time I got my period. I can vividly remember his advice that day.

"My princess, this is a sign of maturity. It shows you are now a woman and you can pregnant if you start having sexual intercourse with the opposite gender" those were his words that day. I had learned about menstruation in school but my father insisted that he needed to tell me too.

Every time I got my period, he was always the one that bought tampons. Even when I had menstrual cramps he was always there taking care of me and he also bought drugs for me. The day, I graduated from high school my father threw a party for me, I remembered inviting my friends over for the party. My father always pampered me as the only girl and last child, be ensured I did not lack a single thing.

He didn't want me to feel the absence of a mother figure in my life. Sometimes, I cried about my mum leaving so early but I was also happy I had a father like mine. He had been very supportive of us. Tears flowed like a river as I remembered old memories. I wish I could turn back time to the good old days. My father will forever remain evergreen in my mind. I will tell my children about my father.

I was forced back to reality by the sound of my phone vibrating. I checked it and I had 27 missed calls, 3 text messages, and 1 voice mail. Some were from Gabe while most of them were from Constantine. Mandy also called me

I read Constantine's message and it said; "Are you okay? Where are you? Please call me when you see this message. I'm worried

Worried. You all should keep worrying, I'm not coming home.

There was also a voicemail from him but I ignored it. I was not in the mood to talk or see anybody, I just wanted to be alone and clear my head. I poured myself whiskey into a cup I saw in the room. I swallowed everything in a gulp. My phone was ringing again and Mandy was calling me. She was the only person I wanted to talk to now.

"Hello," I said

"Euli, where are you? Everybody's been looking for you. We are worried about you"

"I left earlier, I just want to be alone"

"Okay. Tell me where you are so I can come to you. I don't want you to be alone for a minute"

"Mandy promise me you won't tell anybody where I am if I tell you"

"C'mon"

"You have to promise me first"

"Fine, I promise"

"I don't want anybody to come with you please. Just come alone"

"Nobody is coming with me, I'm alone. I just want to make sure you are fine"

"I'm at a hotel. I'll text your address". I quickly texted her the address and suddenly I felt nauseous. I ran to the toilet to throw up, I didn't vomit much because my stomach was empty. I just remembered I hadn't eaten since yesterday morning and I took alcohol on an empty stomach.

I rinsed my mouth and went back to the room. There was a knock on the door and I peeped the hole to see if Mandy was alone when I was sure no one was with her. I opened the door.

"Hey baby girl" she had two bags in her hand and she entered the room and I locked the door back.

"Come here baby," she said wrapping her arms around me "It's okay baby. Stop crying your father is in a better place and he won't like to see you crying like this"

"W-why now? Why did he have to die now" I sobbed "He promised he was going to be alive to walk me down the aisle and see my children"

"Everything happens for a reason"

"No, it didn't. My brothers are at fault they were too busy to notice their father had a weak heart"

"No, don't say that. You told me your father didn't tell anyone if your brothers are at fault what about you? How many times did you visit your father and ask about his health?" There was sense in what she said. If that was the case, then I'm also to blame.

"When I was coming here, I met Constantine and he asked about you. I told him I don't know where you are?"

"Thank you. I'm not ready to speak to him now"

"You look pale. Have you eaten anything?" I shook my head

"That's fine. I brought food"