Chapter 120 - The Moon Goddess won’t let you

EMMA

I balance the tray in my hands as I push her bedroom door open with my hips. “I made you some tea.” The cup wobbles on the saucer and I freeze. I exhale a breath when the cup doesn’t fall.

Graciella rises from the bed and quickly moves to me. “You don’t have to do that.” She tries to take the tray from my hand, but I pull it out of her reach.

“I was making tea anyway.” I place the tray on the dresser. The tray is filled with a mug of herbal tea of echinacea leaves and ginger root and a plate of orange slices. The strong smell of ginger wafts through the room.

Graciella looks from the tray to me and her features turn sad. “You made this for Prince Hadrian, didn’t you?

The smile on my face drops instantly. Hadrian is avoiding me. He’s still sick. I've been making him tea and bringing him fruit every day, but since yesterday he doesn’t want to see me anymore. I was getting desperate and Lucas had to force me to come back here.

“You need the vitamins too,” I say and swallow the burn of rejection. My hand still trembles as I hand Graciella the cup of tea. Which is already at drinking temperature.

Graciella reluctantly takes it from me. She bites her lip as she avoids my eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

Graciella has been here now for less than a week. She’s recovering fast. She stays inside the house most of the time, because humans don’t recover that quickly. She’s been doing great so far with concealing her identity.

She treats me as her equal most of the time, but there are other moments when she hardly dares to look at me.

“Of course.” I bite into a slice of orange and offer her a slice too. The fruit is juicy and has an intense sweet and sour flavor.

Graciella picks up one of the slices. “Why have you not let him mark you?”

The acid burns a way down my throat and I cough. I place the plate back on the dresser and now it’s my turn to avoid her gaze. “Marking is not something humans do.”

There are other things to worry about right now. Being marked by Hadrian caused me pain in the past. It distracted me from the state of the world. It made me forget that we don’t belong in each other’s worlds.

“But you’re his mate. The connection is there.”

“It’s not the right time.” *Maybe there will never be a right time.*

“You cannot keep ignoring it. The Moon Goddess won’t let you.” Graciella places the mug away. Her features turn serious. “When we recognize our mate, we have to act.”

She moves with poise like I’ve only seen werewolves do. Even malnourished she is beautiful and commands attention without effort. “We either need to mark them or reject them."

“What if we do neither?”

Her eyes widen and fill with shock. “You can’t. The pull will become too strong. It will demand an answer.” Her brows knit together and she gives me a once-over. “I’m actually surprised that she let this go on for so long.”

My nails dig in my palms. “I’m not like you. I don’t have the same pull.” Emotion burns in my chest. I’m failing as a human and as a werewolf.

The only thing I’m good at is healing myself. What good does that do me if I cannot even help anyone else with it? I cannot even heal Hadrian anymore.

“But Prince Hadrian does.” Her breath picks up and the aggravation is clear. It seems like Graciella is taking the situation personally. “This is hurting him. This disease is only getting worse.”

I don't think I particulary like her concern. “Hadrian has the flu, he’ll get better in a few days.”

“You said that five days ago.”

There’s a burning prickle in my eyes. My lips tremble and I blink away the tears from my eyes. “You think Hadrian is sick because of me?”

“Like he said, werewolves don’t get the flu.”

——————————

The group is gathered in the forest. Kelsey is stretching her body beyond what any of us is capable of. Her flexibility is enviable.

Alex has one hand perched on a tree while she holds her ankle with the other. She rolls her eyes when she catches my eye. We watch Kelsey move through the motions.

Carter is arguing with Ben in the distance. They stand further away from the group and I wonder what they are talking about. There are shadows under his eyes and worry lines on his forehead.

Lucas takes a seat next to me on the patch of grass and leans against a tree. He takes big bites of his sandwich. We all have routines before training. My brother's routine consists of eating.

The sun has dipped past the horizon and the moon is starting to make its ascend. The moon is full tonight. It looks bigger than usual and the white light illuminates the forest. The evening is warm and the wind blows over my skin.

“Is Jack still sick?” Dex asks as he looks around the group.

I pick at the grass as guilt flows through me. The blades of grass fall through my fingers and into a heap near my feet.

“Yeah,” Lucas says.

Dex frowns as he lights a cigarette. “That bug is really getting him.”

“Is that normal?” Alex asks in a whisper as she sinks down next to me.

“No,” I mutter low enough for only her to hear. The depression rolls off my tongue with a single word.

Alex turns her observing eyes to me. “Are you okay?”

I straighten my slumped shoulders. “I’m fine.” The lie is obvious, but Alex doesn’t press further. My mind keeps returning to Hadrian. I try to feel the energy of the moon like he showed me.

Dex starts to explain what the goal of the training session is. He explains that a big part of the mission will be in the dark. Either through the tunnels or through the forest. It’s important to know how to navigate through the darkness in those moments.

Dex has set out a route that goes around the town. The distance covers ten miles and teamwork is crucial.

“We will leave in one group and return as one.” He says as he concludes his explanation.

Eyes flit my way even if it’s just for a short second. Everybody knows that I’m the slowest of the group. I will determine the performance of the whole. I could use some of that moon energy right about now.

When we’re only one mile into the training things start to rapidly go downhill. My lungs are burning and the flames spread through the rest of my body. My muscles ache with the fire. My throat is dry and my heaving breaths turn into coughs.

“Are you okay?” Dex asks and he stops the rest of the group.

“I’m fi—“ My words are interrupted by more coughs. Sweat pours over my skin as heat builds from within. *I’m so not okay.*

My face must look like a tomato right now. I wait for the teasing jokes but they don’t come. Kelsey and Alex eye me with concern instead of the usual laughter and lighthearted banter.

My brother jogs towards me and scans me with knowing eyes. “I think she might have caught the same bug as Jack.”

I shake my head and try to refute it, but Lucas cuts me off before I can speak. “I’m taking her home. She cannot continue like this.”

Dex nods at my brother. “That’s for the best.”

Lucas guides me away from the group and towards the town.

I fan my face to cool down my skin. “I don’t think Hadrian has the flu.”

“I know,” Lucas mutters.