Chapter 88 - Come find us

FIVE MONTHS LATER

HADRIAN

The tumbler of dark smoky whiskey is torn from my hands and replaced by a plate of pork roast, mashed potatoes and steamed vegetables. The scents mix together and my stomach gives an appreciative growl, but the hollowness in my chest repels at the sight of food. My throat tightens at the food and only opens for the burn of alcohol.

“You need to eat,” Cecile says as she takes a swig of my whiskey and takes a seat in front of my desk.

I growl at her and rise to get the tumbler from her hand. Cecile is faster and holds the glass out of my reach.

“Give that back.” The amber liquid is the only thing that can marginally dull the edge of misery.

The other thing was her lingering scent in her clothes, but it had faded over the months. Things are getting worse. My body and soul are weakening. Outwardly, I can see the decline in my muscles and strength. Inwardly, I can see it in the weakening of my wolf and the power of my command.

“No,” Cecile says and downs the rest of the whiskey. I watch the liquor disappear from the glass with clenched fists.

“Then leave,” I command with a growl. I get up to get another bottle from the cabinet. The first one is already somewhere empty in the trash. Black spots enter my vision and I steady myself with one hand on the cabinet.

Cecile makes no move to leave. She crosses her legs and leans further in the seat. “Don’t you see what’s happening?”

I ignore her as I pour a new glass of whiskey. I ignore the socially accepted standards and fill it to half an inch from the rim. The tumbler still feels too small in my hand when I take a large swig. The liquor burns a way through my system and hopefully burns the memories from my brain.

“Your command is getting weaker.”

I already know this. I can see the difference between a soldier following my command because of self-inflicted duty or because their nature forces them to follow it. They don’t feel the crushing weight anymore.

I take the royally filled tumbler back to my desk as the chef keeps talking. The leather groans beneath my weight.

“I haven’t heard anything from Nero in weeks. Nobody has seen him either.”

My shoulders tense at the mention of my wolf. Nero is weakening at a rapid pace without his mate. I cannot communicate with him anymore.

The stories write about the strength a wolf gains when they find their fated mate, but few talk about the consequences of losing a mate. Being refused by a fated mate can make a wolf wither or go flat-out insane.

The food smells good and my stomach growls in neglect. I pick up the fork and start to force myself to eat. My body needs food, but every bite goes down like straw.

“The soldiers haven’t seen you training.” Cecile continues and she gets up from her seat. She places her hands on my desk. “People are starting to notice, Hadrian.”

“I know Cecile. Believe me.” My voice is harsh and bitter. I take a swig of whiskey and discard the fork in my hand. I need food, but I need Emma more. Food won’t heal me.

There is a knock on the door and I call them inside. Callum appears in the doorway with a stack of papers in his hand. “This is the latest report, sir.”

Callum has taken the lead on steering the troops to find Emma. He has crossed the kingdom to every far corner to help search for my mate. Callum is focused and committed to his duty. He doesn’t have a mate and a part of him died on the day she did.

I leaf through the report and growl. “There’s nothing here.” The paper fly through the air when I through them to the other side of the room.

There’s no lead, nothing. Nobody has sighted a human. The more time passes, the lower the chance that we’ll find her. The chances are already slim to none, but giving up is not an option. I need her like I need air to breathe.

“There are still a few packs left to check.” Callum is unfazed by my burst of anger. He has dealt with a lot in the past few months.

I can feel my resolve slowly, but surely start to deflate. “We already checked every pack around the border.”

“How did pass them?” Cecile asks with her sightless examination.

“It’s like she just traveled through them,” Callum tells her.

Cecile lifts her shoulders. “Maybe she had help.”

“It must be,” I grumble and lean down on my desk. Every day without her gets harder and harder to get through. I feel like I will lose my mind completely if I don’t find her soon.

We’re not made to live without our mate once we find them. The connection is undeniable for a reason.

“What are you going to do if you do find her? Cecile asks when I dismiss Callum and he leaves the office. “You cannot take her back here.”

“I know. I don’t plan on taking her back here.” The comment hangs in the air with the weight of the truth. I know Emma could never live a life here. She would never be accepted.

Therefore I must live in her world.

Cecile crosses her arms and sinks further into the seat. “I’m not leaving before you finish the food.”

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I kneel on the floor when I'm alone again. I gather every document from the ground and stack them in a neat pile. My hands go mindlessly through the motion and my mind finds a glimmer of rest at the humbling task.

I enter the combination of numbers of the safe. It beeps with every tick and the lock grinds when it unlocks. The heavy door is smooth when it opens. The heavy scent of silver trapped inside the safe is overwhelming. It makes the hairs on my neck stand up, but in a way, it also reminds me of Emma.

I take out the wooden box with silver daggers and place the documents Callum just brought inside. The last thing I want is for my father to find out.

The stack of documents is rapidly growing and nearly reaches the top now. Months of searching have left me nowhere thus far.

The box is taking up too much space. I take the daggers from the wooden box. They are wrapped in leather cloth and I place them in the safe.

I expect the box to be empty, but on the bottom lies a piece of paper. The paper is folded and slightly crumbled. The wooden box falls from my hands and clatters on the ground when I read what’s on the paper.

*We're moving the girls to a secure location. Come find us in the dark forest when you find a chance to escape. 92 miles southwest of the south border.*

The paper crumbles in my hand when the realization dawns that the answer has been here all along. This must be where she has gone, this is where I can find her.

There’s a knock on the door of my office and a guard steps into the room. “Sir, your father is requesting your presence in the throne room.”

I hide the paper in the pocket of my trousers and growl at the guard for barging in. I have no time for this. I need to find my mate. I can almost feel her within my reach again.

“Tell him to go to hell.” I pick up my glass of whiskey and turn to the window as I wait for the guard to leave. My muscles vibrate with anticipation and hope grows in my chest.

“I cannot do that sir.” The guard has a stern tone to his voice and there is no hint of fear in him.

I notice the presence of the four other guards too late. They sneak up on me and eight hands grab my arms. The tumbler falls from my hand and scatters on the ground. The glass splinters in a million pieces and liquor splashes against the window.

They chain my arms behind my back. The sting of silver burns through the sleeves of my shirt.

Nero has been incoherent for the past weeks. I haven’t been able to shift and I’m not able now. I fear that by pushing I will lose the connection at all.

The leather gloves protect them from the burn, but I’m not that lucky. I can already feel the silver blister on my skin through the fabric.