Chapter 71 - You love her?

HADRIAN

My name on her lips is coming from far away. Her melody is soft and filled with pain. It travels through the layers of the haze. The scent of roses, orange peel and something bitter is overwhelming. *This isn’t right.* Nero has control, but I fight back to follow the sound of her voice.

Emma watches me with horror in her eyes. She is still standing at the entrance without me next to her.

My fingers are tangled in dark, smooth hair. My hand is placed on soft, but firm skin. My hands are on the body of a woman, but Emma is standing fifteen feet away from me. *What is going on?*

Nero fights and pushes me to mark the woman in my hands. He growls and I growl back. I fight the instinct of my nature. I fight the urge to claim what’s mine.

*“NO.”*

I command my wolf, but Nero isn’t seeing reason. He has one purpose and that’s to find his fated mate, mark her and mate her. It draws him in and consumes him and therefore consumes me.

I pull myself back and tear away my hands. I step away to give myself a second of clear thought. I look at Gaia and the truth is clear in her chocolate brown eyes.

*Mate, mate, mate.*

It overrules every thought and every conscious decision. It pulls me toward her like a magnet. I look around, but Emma is gone. I ball my fists and grit my teeth. People around me are watching me with a hold of their breath. The room is so quiet that I can hear a pin drop to the floor.

*No. This isn’t right.*

Emma is my mate. I chose her. I have no fated connection.

Every fiber of my being pulls me towards Gaia except for my heart. It belongs to Emma. I pull strength from that and push my legs toward the exit. Nero howls in my head and every step is agony. It stabs into my legs as if a thousand needles dig into my muscles.

Opposing my wolf is causing me physical pain.

I do what many believe is an unthinkable sin. I block my wolf and disrupt the connection. My mind goes silent and a sharp rapture tears through me.

“Hadrian, where are you going?” Gaia clamors behind me. Her voice doesn’t lure me like Emma. Her scent doesn’t captivate me like rich vanilla. And still, my soul begs me to claim her as my mate.

My muscles scream when I push myself harder. I focus on the scent of vanilla, custard and lemongrass going into the hallway.

The figure of a familiar guard blocks my path. Callum has his arms crossed and sends me a hard look that not many dare to do. He’s bold enough to stand in the way of me and Emma.

“Get out of my way,” I command.

His muscles strain as he tries to fight the command. He fails as his nature demands him to obey the Alpha. Still, there is perspiration on his skin as he tries to fight it.

“My duty is to protect Emma from harm’s way.” He says with a strain when I pass him.

I turn back to face the guard. “And you think I would harm her?” I growl.

I tower over him and he pales under my presence and still, he finds the strength to defy me. He gives me an affirmative nod. “You should let her go if you care for her.”

Fury ignites in my veins. I clutch the fabric of his uniform and pull him towards me. “I don’t just *care* for her.”

Caring doesn’t come close to what I feel for Emma.

The guard matches my stare with hard eyes. “You love her?” He studies me with a scowl. “Do you think we can fall in love? Truly love someone other than our fated mate?” There is curiosity in his eyes.

I could just walk away and ignore the guard. I don’t need to entertain his questions. He cannot stop me from going to Emma, but a part of me wants him to understand that my intention never was to hurt her.

“Yes, I do,” I answer. I open my mouth to elaborate, but words fail me when something lodges itself in my throat.

I didn’t start to love her because of the connection. I hated the connection at first, but things changed when she showed more of herself. Her tenacity, her curiosity and her compassion. I fell in love along the way because of the person she is. Every single moment with her broke off a piece of my heart and kept it in her possession. I don’t know when I gave her all of it, only that I did.

Callum nods and he must see my sincerity. “She’s with the chef.”

I nod and let go of him. I run out of the palace as I chase the scent of Emma. The day has shifted to the night and the light drizzle is cold on my skin. The wind blows away any trace of vanilla.

Cecile lives in the third ring. Nero will definitely take over when I shift, so I run the way to the end of the city.

My muscles feel sore as I force myself to take every step through sheer willpower. I’m swimming upstream and it would be so easy to let go and let myself be taken by the currents of my nature.

But the idea of marking Gaia and making her my mate feels wrong in so many ways. The pull is strong, almost undeniable, but I’m stronger.

The drizzle becomes stronger and soaks my clothes. The cold wind sends a shiver over my skin. Without my wolf, I’m nearly as human as Emma.

Cecile is waiting for me outside. She is sitting under the canopy in front of her house. Her face is aghast and that’s something I’ve never seen with the strong-willed chef. “Don’t make any commands, I won’t let you inside.” Her voice is strong, but she won’t be able to deny me if I do.

“Why?” I grumble.

Cecile takes a swig of the bottle of liquor in her hands. “She’s finally asleep, don’t wake her right now.”

First Callum, now Cecile. Emma has found friends in some of the toughest people I know. They hold thick walls of armour around themselves and here they are protecting a human girl.

I take a seat next to Cecile and I shake off the rain in my hair. I take a swig of the bottle of liquor. It’s strong, stronger than whiskey and the burn is harsh down my throat, but I welcome the pain.

“How can this even happen?” Cecile growls.

I take another swig. Hopefully, it will make me forget about everything and bring me back to this morning when Emma was screaming out my name in pleasure.

“I don’t know.”

There are many things in this world beyond my understanding. There are rules and there are exceptions. The Moon Goddess works in mysterious ways. There have been many stories in our world where there was an exception to the rule.

We sit there in silence for a moment as we pass back and forth the bottle.

Cecile passes me the bottle again and I take a long swig.

“Her mark is gone.”

The liquor burns a way through my windpipe and I cough. I grip the neck of the bottle and turn my eyes to the moon. I curse and growl at the Goddess ruling our world. “I didn’t do it.”

I didn’t mark Gaia, this shouldn’t happen.

“It doesn’t matter, it still broke her.”

I turn back to Cecile. “What?”

Cecile twists her hands as she casts her blind eyes to the distance. “The girl has gone through a lot, Hadrian. What do you expect would happen? She just collapsed.”

I notice the light glisten of moisture in her eyes, but Cecile turns her head away. She truly started caring for Emma. “Hadrian, don’t go in there now. Give her some time to work through this.” Cecile is not one to beg.

I hurt her. I did the thing that I never wanted to. The least I can do now is give her some space. I throw the empty bottle across the square and it shatters in a thousand pieces like the rest of me.