Chapter 133 - I’m the problem here

EMMA

The streets are quiet as I call out Graciella’s fake name. It echoes off the houses on the outskirts of the town. Compared to the center of the town, this part is devoid of life except for the growing weeds that crawl over cobblestones and brick walls.

I pass our old house on the small street in the furthest part of the town. The forest basically started in our backyard. Even after six months, I haven’t gone inside. There’s nothing in there that connects to my current life. It was a different one full of innocence and a part of me holds on to that last piece in the world that is untainted. A place where the happy memories from the past fill the space and continue to live on.

In the distance, I can hear the bustling sounds of boisterous music and joyful laughter. The sound is warm as it travels with the wind to the outer parts of the town, almost like a memory flowing through the streets and disappearing in the forest.

Graciella is nowhere to be found. Not in the house or in the town. The trees of the dark forest lurk in the distance. The path is dark as the leaves block the sunlight. It absorbs the music and laughter and it tapers off, being consumed by the trees.

Graciella seems upset or maybe even in panic. Maybe she shifted and ran into the dark forest. It’s the only thing I can think of, even if I cannot think of a reason why.

I debate going into the forest alone, but the small amount of self-preservation thinks better of it. I should find Hadrian, he can sense where she would have gone.

I go back to the square and life seeps back into the town. There’s laughter and people are dancing. There should be a ceremony, but it seems that the party has already started.

I search around for Hadrian and I already know in my stomach that he’s not here. There is always a heat in my core whenever he’s around. It builds when he comes closer even if I cannot see him. Now there is only a cold unease.

I don’t spot Hadrian or even Lucas anywhere. The music trembles in my tensons in an effort to dispel the unease I feel. The square is filled with happiness and lightheartedness all around. I try to shake away my worries and absorb a little of the euphoria going around.

I watch how the people laugh and how Arthur and Julie dance even when the ceremony is delayed. I spot Dex a few feet away spinning around one of the younger kids. Their feet fly in the air and their laughter is high-pitched and joyful.

Dex spots me and his grin turns wider. He releases the kid and moves to me. “Dance with me.” He says and offers me an outstretched hand.

“I can’t, Grace—“

“Don’t worry, Ben found her,” Dex says with a compassionate smile. “She wasn’t feeling well, so he took her to see doctor Harold.”

“Thank god.” I place my hand over my heart and release a breath. Some of the unease is lifted and I let the music release the tension. “I thought she might have run away or something.”

His features turn confused. “Why would she do that?”

I freeze when I realize what I said. A human wouldn’t just run into the forest like that. Especially not when there have been sightings of werewolves lately. “Uhm, I don’t know.”

Feeling that the ground is becoming hot beneath my feet, I turn. But before I can take a step, I’m stopped when an arm winds around my waist. Dex grabs my hand and spins me around. The velocity pulls me towards him and I crash into his chest.

Dex catches me and steadies me with a secure hand on my waist. “Where are you going?”

There’s barely a few inches between us. My skin slithers and squirms at the touch of someone who isn’t Hadrian. It’s like a constant reminder of the breach of faith in our bond. It’s unfortunate for Dex because he's not to blame for it.

“I’m going to see Grace,” I say and try to pull away, but Dex keeps a firm hold.

“Dance with me first.” There’s sadness in his eyes. “After that, I’ll let you off the hook.” The melancholy reverberates in his words. It’s filled with grief, but also acceptance.

The sadness is hard to refuse for anyone with a beating heart. And I’m prone to want to help the one in need, so this is no different. *One dance. I can do one dance.*

His touch is not warm like Hadrian's, it’s cold and chills my bones. I take a breath as I nod and ignore the shivers. His touch didn’t have this effect on me before. But ever since Hadrian marked me things changed.

His eyes linger for a moment on the full display of my ring as I place my hand on his shoulder. “New ring?”

“Yeah.” I don’t give him an explanation when his confused eyes turn from my hand to me. I don’t think I can come up with a convincing lie anymore.

Dex spins us away from the center where the music is the loudest. He leads me in an effortless dance that doesn’t require any difficult steps.

“At least tell me why.” He says after a short moment of silence and I know he isn’t talking about the ring anymore.

“Dex,” I say in exaspiration. I don’t want to be the one breaking his heart. He has been nothing but good to me since our initial meeting.

“Is it something I did?”

I shake my head. “No, it’s not that.”

Dex has always had my back, always helped me when I needed and allowed me to figure out things on my own. He always listens to what I have to say and values any contribution I’m able to give. He never forces me to do anything but still pushes me to my limits to become better.

*How do I tell him that I’m already in love with a werewolf without telling him that I’m already in love with a werewolf?*

“Is it my looks?” Dex asks in a more lighthearted tone, but I can tell it’s just a cover-up.

I chuckle. “No.”

Everyone knows that Dex is good-looking, even Dex. The worst thing is that he isn’t even annoying about it.

“It’s nothing you did wrong or how you look…” I say with a pointed look. “I’m the problem here.”

There’s curiosity in his hazel eyes. He deserves an answer that doesn’t skirt along the lines. I just cannot give him that without telling him the truth.

“You deserve someone who reciprocates your affection.”

“Have you even tried?” His words are a strained whisper now. His eyes are searching every inch of my face as if my features hold the answer. There’s a lack of understanding that fuels the ferocity of his quest.

I sigh. “No.”

It’s the truth at least. There has not been a moment in the six months apart where I felt I was able to let go of Hadrian. Even though my mark was gone, there was still something tying me to him.

There’s a heat building in my solar plexus. It doesn’t come from my surroundings and I can intuitively feel that Hadrian is coming near.

Dex spins me another round and further away from the center. His eyes burn with questioning flames. “Then how would you know?”

“I—

My words are cut off by his lips. They crush me with intensity and their chill freezes my whole body in place.