Chapter 14 - Don’t go, I’ll miss you

HADRIAN

The transformation back is harder than usual. Nero has never fought me to stay in our wolf form before, but now he does. I’m absolutely livid and force my wolf back in his place. My naked body falls into the grass. The ground is damp beneath my skin and grass sticks everywhere. The human is sleeping on the grass near the pond and her face is peaceful. She doesn’t move and hasn’t noticed anything of my transformation.

*“What the hell was that?”* I mentally shout at Nero.

*“I’m sorry.”*

I dig my fingers deep in the ground. *“You’re sorry? You fucking took control and the only thing you can say is sorry!”*

When Nero took control to save the human, I was ignored and disregarded. Never has my wolf tried to take over. Never had the animal in me full control and now he enforced himself over me, to save a mere human.

*“She’s our future mate.”* Nero counters.

“Shut up,” I say out loud.

A bored chuckle comes from above me. I look up and see Lela sitting on the edge of the balcony on the first floor. Dressed in all black and hidden in the shadows. She's hardly visible, but I’m surprised I didn’t notice her before.

“What are you doing here?” I growl.

Lela is the daughter of Gamma Silvius and used to be my best friend when we were kids. We're the same age and Lela used to visit the palace often with her father. She lives outside Sanguinem in the Midnight Moon pack with her family. She stopped accompanying her father six years ago and I haven’t seen her since. Not after she found out Morana was her fated mate. I don’t think that Morana knows that Lela is her fated mate, she never showed that she does.

Lela sighs and boredom is evident in her voice. “I was waiting for you to find me.”

Lela throws me some clothes and I’m surprised to see they’re mine. I’m curious why she’s here and I quickly change into the clothes. Lela has powerful psychic abilities and I could use some of her insight right now. The jeans and T-shirt are old, probably from a few years back. They fit tighter than I remember.

“Don’t move,” I tell Lela.

I ignore her piercing gaze when I pick up Emma. I’m careful not to lift her too quickly and incidentally wake her. She would probably scream bloody murder if she did.

I hold her close when I walk through the hallway to the first floor. I find myself leaning over and bringing her closer so that I can take in her delicious scent. It calms me and arouses me at the same time. I want her scent on my pillow, so that I, for once, can have a good night's sleep. I usually only sleep a few hours at night. The moon and the guilt for my troops usually keep me awake.

I open the door to the guest bedroom and the girl stirs in my arms. I fear for a second, that she has woken up. I look down and find her face contorting in pain.

“Lucas, where are you?” She mumbles in her sleep.

I feel fury burn in my veins when the name of another man leaves her lips. I take a deep breath to calm the unreasonable feelings down.

I place her on the bed. I remove her shoes, but won’t dare myself to remove her dress. There is still unease on her face and it’s painful to see. She’s stirring around.

“I’m here,” I whisper.

After a moment, she calms down and sinks further into the bed. I sit on the side of the bed and place a pillow beneath her head. Then I move away to let her sleep. Her fingers grip around my wrist and I halt.

“Don’t go. I’ll miss you.” Her grip is weak, but still, it keeps me firmly in place.

I sit back down on the bed and ignore the fact that she’s calling out for another man. She hums in contentment when she snuggles against my arm and I feel a sense of pride bloom in my chest.

Her neck is exposed and shows her flawless skin. The need to mark her as mine feels impossible to ignore. I wrap a lock of her white hair between my fingers. *What an unusual color she has.* It’s known that the color fur of our wolf is the same as the hair of our human form. That’s why Nero is raven black and my sister’s wolf is auburn red. *What would Emma look like if she had a wolf?*

The strength leaves her body when she falls into a deep sleep and her hand falls down my arm. I reluctantly leave the bed, but I feel more relaxed than ever.

————

I know Lela will still be on the balcony because she won’t ignore an order. When I reach the balcony I can see her clearly now. Her eyes match the raven color of her hair. Her wolf is chestnut brown, but she dyes her hair black. She is clothed in a long black robe. One leg outstretched on the railing and the other bent. Her hands rest on her knee.

“Why are you here?” I grumble.

Lela sighs like she’s already bored of this conversation. “Why do you think Hadrian?” Lela turns to look at me. Her bottomless black eyes bore into mine. “My father wouldn’t let an opportunity like this go. He’s still hoping you’ll choose me as your mate.”

“You know I won’t.”

Lela chuckles. “I know.”

I lean over the railing next to her, staring at the pond. Memories of the human girl fill my brain. “My father wants me to choose the human as my mate.”

Lela is quiet and I turn my head to look at her. She doesn’t show any hint of surprise. “You will.”

I grit my teeth. “You don’t know that.”

"Yes, I do Hadrian.” She breathes out a loud exhale. “You’ll eventually do what your father tells you to do. You always do.”

My face pulls into a scowl. It's not that simple.

“If it’s any consultation, Cato thinks you should choose the human.” Cato is her wolf. Cato can sense the future, but it’s more like an extra powerful intuition. She can also see mate bonds. Past, present and future.

“Did Morana put you up to this?” I ask

“Morana doesn’t even know that I’m here.” She says in a bored tone. “Believe it or not Hadrian, but I’m still your friend.”

There was a time when I trusted Lela with my life. She once was my best friend, but things changed when Lela realized that Morana was going to be her mate. Lela knew the moment she turned eighteen. They could never be together and Lela knows that. Sometimes the mate connection can be a cruel thing.

I shrug my shoulders. “Why should I choose the human then?” I ask. I came to her for advice, might as well listen to it.

“There is something there between you. I cannot quite place it.” Lela says.

I raise an eyebrow at her. “Something?”

“Hmm, not a bond. It’s just something I saw, just now. I can’t see a connection between you, but Nero is drawn to her. Why is that?” Lela asks with a scrutinizing stare.

“It’s nothing,” I mumble.

“You never chase a girl, but still you followed her. Why her?”

Lela is annoying me now. “Like I said, it's nothing.”

“What is it about this human?” Lela murmurs with true curiosity. She comes closer and scrunches her nose. “You even smell like her.”

I’m surprised that Lela is disgusted by her smell. How could anyone dislike that sweet smell? I grit my teeth and my muscles are taut. I growl in defeat. “I don’t know.”

Lela stands up with a sigh and places her hand on my shoulder. “You might not have a fated connection anymore, but you still deserve to be happy.” She says before she leaves me alone on the balcony.

The reminder of the fact I’ll never find my fated mate is a punch in the gut. I can still feel the pain in my chest when I felt the connection rip apart. She must have died that day and even though I never met her. I felt it. Lela confirmed that day, that the connection was broken and that there was no second chance mate in my future. If there is no fated connection, could there still be someone for a mateless wolf like me?