Chapter 36 - Do you trust me?

EMMA

Today marks seventeen days since I arrived in the werewolf kingdom. Fourteen days since I let a werewolf sink his teeth in my neck. And one week since Hadrian returned within an inch of his life.

The night after he returned, I woke up in his arms after being roused from a nightmare. My reaction was one out of habit. If you lived a good part of your life hating werewolves, that is a logical reaction to have.

That was six days ago and Hadrian has been acting distanced ever since. *Which I should appreciate, right? I mean, that’s what I want.*

Paulina pulls on a strand of hair and I wince when she gets stuck. The wilderness is as untamable as ever. Paulina spews a string of apologies and I wave her off. Paulina uses a honey-infused hair oil to tame the natural waves of my hair. It smells nice, and not overly sweet.

I finally caved and let Paulina talk me into a lilac chiffon dress with soft, yellow flowers embroidered on the fabric. She places yellow flowers in my hair. I purse my lips but don’t say anything. Everything about the look is soft and sweet, but my gunmetal eyes are hard and withered. The scars on my arms and shoulder seem to stand out more now. I lived a life that gave me scars. I never minded before.

I have scars because on that day, seven years ago, the werewolf gripped me by my neck and shoulder. Sinking his claws in my skin. I have a scar on my other shoulder because Hadrian marked me as his mate. Furthermore, I have many scars on my arms from tearing down branches and roots.

Paulina drapes my hair over my shoulder to cover the worst scars and exposes the mark. “All done.” She says with a genuine smile. I'm glad she’s happy about it at least. Paulina has become like a little sister, who you allow to dress you up once in a while.

I watch myself in the full-length mirror. The dress is stunning, but I can’t help the feeling of not belonging. Like this life belongs to someone else. Someone sophisticated and poised. Someone powerful and fit to be Queen one day.

Hadrian comes up behind me in the mirror. He’s dressed in black and his hands casually rest in the pockets of his trousers as he watches me through the mirror. His gaze makes my heartbeat pick up. It happens more and more often lately.

We don’t talk or interact much. Usually, he’s already gone when I wake up and I’m asleep when he comes back. The only reason I know that he sleeps there is the scent of cedar, sandalwood and bergamot on his pillow and the rumpled bedsheets.

“Going somewhere?” He asks.

I shake my head and avoid his gaze. “I have no plans yet.”

Normally I go to Gaius in the city, help Cecile in the kitchen or go to the library with Paulina. I watch Paulina sneaking glances at Hadrian and her cheeks flush red. I bite on the inside of my cheek.

“Paulina, could you leave us?” Hadrian asks.

Paulina startles and bows down. “Of course, Your Highness.”

Hadrian doesn’t look at her when she leaves. His eyes are on me.

I look away and fumble with the dress. “She has a crush on you.”

He takes a step closer to me. “Hmm. Does it bother you?”

I scoff. “No, why would it?” I cross my arms.

Yes, it does bother me, but I’m not telling him that. It shouldn’t bother me. I pull at one of the yellow flowers in my hair and then scold myself for messing it up.

Hadrian keeps looking at me through the mirror. “It bothers me when someone has a crush on you.”

I roll my eyes and walk out of the dressing room. “Nobody has a crush on me.”

“There is.” He grumbles.

“Like who?”

“That guard.”

There is only one guard that is friendly to me. And it definitely isn’t Callum.

"Miles?" I ask as I reach for the door handle and Hadrian nods.

“He’s harmless. I’m pretty sure he acts that way to everyone.” I open the door and Miles is standing behind it.

He has a big smile when he turns around. “Good morning Emma, you look beautiful this morning.”

There is a growl behind me and I start to feel uncomfortable between the two men. “Uhm, thanks.”

“Are we going to the city or the library?” Miles asks.

I open my mouth to answer him, but Hadrian wraps an arm around my waist. He pulls me back and away from the door. “She’s coming with me today,” Hadrian says and slams the door shut.

I turn around to face him. “What’s your problem? That was so rude.”

He doesn’t move away and holds my gaze. “Do you still want to help or not?”

The question hangs in the air. For a second I’m lost about the meaning of his question. His face is stern and there is gravity in his eyes. This is something important to him. It hits me that he’s talking about the missing daughter of the rogue.

“I do,” I say sincerely.

“Good.” There is a hint of relief in his eyes. “You should probably change, where we’re going is going to be cold and dusty.” Hadrian walks away to his office.

“At least Miles said I was beautiful,” I mutter to myself.

Hadrian turns his head and shoots me a scowl with narrowed eyes. I gulp and quickly walk back to the dressing room.

I take my old jeans and sweater from the closet. I take off the dress and hang it aside to change. I sigh a breath of relief when the familiar fabric hugs my body.

The yellow flowers are still placed in my hair and I carefully pull them out. I pull my hair in a ponytail and tuck my necklace into my sweater.

I walk over to his office and twirl in my worn outfit. “Better, right?” I say with as much sarcasm as I can manage.

Hadrian stands up from behind his desk and steps closer to me. His eyes pierce into mine and my breathing stops. He towers over me, reaches for an escaped white lock and places it behind my ear. The small touch against the shell of my ear sends sparks through my whole body.

His eyes never leave mine. “Better.”

My skin warms up under his gaze and my heartbeat trumps at high speed. I part my lips to take a breath and his eyes follow the movement. The air is charged between us. His presence draws me closer to him. For a second I think he’s going to kiss me. I stand there rooted in place, waiting for what comes next, but he moves away.

I try to ignore the pang of disappointment in my chest. That is not something I want. Maybe if I tell myself enough times, I will believe it eventually.

Hadrian turns one of the lanterns on the wall beside me. It is a handle and the wood paneling beside me moves away. It reveals a tunnel. There is no light coming from the tunnel and a gust of cold air moves through the room. It leaves a shiver on my skin.

When he said cold, he meant *cold cold*.

“Was that there all this time?” I ask while pointing at the dark tunnel. I kind of expect bats to come flying out of it at any moment.

Hadrian nods. “Ever since my great-grandfather built this palace.”

I peek my head into the dark space and there's a stairs that leads into a dark endless abyss. *Yeah, not great.*

“Yes, well that’s great and all, but—“

Hadrian raises one eyebrow at me. “Are you afraid?”

I look back and forth between the dark abyss and Hadrian. “I mean, you know. Dark, confined spaces are not my favorite place in the world.” I try to casually brush it off, but my heartbeat is thumping loudly in my chest and sweat beads gather on my skin.

I fidget with the charm on my neck and Hadrian pries my hand loose. He’s careful not to touch my necklace. I look at him with wide eyes when he interlaces our fingers. A wave of calm washes through me.

“Do you trust me?”

The answer is clear, right? No is the answer. A werewolf cannot be trusted. That has been proven time after time. No should be the answer.

“Yes.”