Chapter 35 - Don’t cry, my mate

EMMA

The moonlight casts a soft light through the room. It casts shadows over his features as he looks out the window. He mindlessly swirls the whiskey in his glass. I think I might have said something wrong because Hadrian is ignoring me now. He tilts the tumbler up and I watch how his throat moves when he drinks the amber liquid. The muscles in his neck are strained and his grip on the glass is strong.

*Okay Emma, stop watching him like a creep.*

I tear my gaze away from him and move my ass to the bathroom to wash away the day. What a day it has been. This morning I called him a filthy mutant and now I want to be friends with him. Yes, I want us to be friends. I know my body wants something different, but I can’t allow myself to think about that. I’m not ready to explore those implications.

I scrub my skin with scented soap. Honeysuckle and patchouli fill the bathroom. I scrub hard on the blood on my hands. I blink away the tears when memories resurface. I put them back behind the locked door in my brain.

I don’t allow myself to think about anything and go through the familiar motions of drying my body. I don’t think when I exit the bathroom. I'm only wrapped in a towel.

*Shit.*

Hadrian looks up from the book he was reading. It’s the one from my nightstand. His eyes roam from my toes to my eyes. His amber eyes turn darker than normal, more like a blazing fire of gold. I quickly turn back around, but I trip over my own two feet.

Two hands grip around my waist and pull me towards him before my face can hit the floor. My back hits his chest and he keeps his hands firmly on my waist. I grip one hand around the edge of the towel to keep it in place. My whole body flushes because of my clumsiness. I swear even my ankles are red right now.

“Thanks.” I want to disappear to the bathroom, but Hadrian doesn’t let me go.

“You’re not wearing your necklace.” His nose runs over the whole length of my neck and over the mark. It sends tingles to my stomach.

“It’s still in the bathroom,” I whisper in a breathy voice and I clear my throat.

His jaw locks beside my ear. “It’s better if you keep it on.” He lets me go and moves away from me. I look around and he’s gone.

“Okay.”

Hadrian is now facing the window again, his back turned to me and I can see the strain in them. We’re both adjusting to this situation.

——————

I come back into the bedroom, dressed in pajamas this time and with my necklace around my neck.

Hadrian is on the sofa, his eyes cast to the floor as he tightens his shoes.

“You’re leaving?” I choke out.

He looks up with a raised eyebrow. He has dark circles under his eyes, but it doesn’t look like he’s planning on getting sleep soon.

“I have to get back to the border.”

I freeze and clench my fists. Hot fury starts to build up in my chest. “What? Are you crazy? You nearly died not even twenty-four hours ago.” I really can’t handle people neglecting their own lives. Not when so many wished they still had them.

“I’m fine.”

“You need sleep to heal.” I try to explain, but it doesn’t seem to get into his thick skull.

“I’ll sleep in the forest, I’m already healed.” He says as he looks at me with a piercing gaze.

I cross my arms and put my foot down. “I won’t let you wander in the dark forest.”

He chuckles and rises from the sofa. “You won’t let me?”

He towers over me and I know the notion sounds ridiculous, but I don’t back down.

“No, we agreed to be friends. And friends look out for each other.”

His eyes narrow. “I never agreed to anything.”

I look away from him. *What am I doing?* The burn of rejection twists in my stomach, I swallow down the lump in my throat and turn away from him. “Fine, go! Get yourself killed. I don’t care.”

I move to the bed and get under the blanket. I close my eyes. I don't want him to see that I do care. I cannot even fathom why I care. It’s stupid and I force myself to remember all the pain they cost me, all the people I watched die.

Time passes and I wait for the sound of the door. The bed dips and the blanket moves. A weight settles on the mattress and I turn around and see Hadrian lying in the bed five feet away. The bed is big enough for him to keep a distance. He has his eyes closed.

“You’re staying?” I whisper in the night.

“I don’t want you to be angry with me.” He grumbles.

I can’t help the smirk tugging at my lips. “Good.”

I watch the moon lights up his features. He’s not wearing a shirt and his shoulders and arms lie exposed above the blanket. His chiseled chest and arms are cut with deep edges. Nobody could deny that Hadrian is a very attractive man. Well, maybe Cecile. Cecile could deny it.

I look up to the ceiling and shake away the raunchy images in my mind. I’ve never looked at a man that way.

“What is that human saying you have?” Hadrian asks with closed eyes. “Happy wife, happy life?”

I can’t help the giggle and Hadrian opens his eyes to look at me. I cover my mouth to smother the laugh. “What?”

He shakes his head and closes his eyes again. “Nothing. Just go to sleep.”

The air is charged in the darkness of the night. My body is aware that he’s near. I simultaneously feel calm and anxious. I close my eyes and I listen to his breathing. The soft inhale and exhale lull me to sleep

One thing I know for sure. That hollow feeling in my chest is gone.

—————

HADRIAN

Sleeping is not in the cards for me tonight. I wish it was because the few hours from last night weren't nearly enough. I could easily fall asleep right now and it probably would be the best sleep of my life.

Nero is sleeping soundly. He’s content when he is close to his mate. Even though he’s sleeping, his ears twitch when Emma makes a sound.

My body is too excited when close to her and I can’t get it to go down. I fear that if I go to sleep now, I’ll wake up humping my dick against her fine body.

I think about leaving to get some sleep in the dark forest, but I can’t make myself stand up.

Emma moves a lot in her sleep. She twists and turns my way. She becomes more and more restless.

*"Something’s wrong."* Nero says with perked ears.

He’s wide awake now and I open my eyes to look at Emma. Her hands clutch the blanket tight and her brows are furrowed in a deep frown.

“No, please, don’t.” She mumbles in her sleep. Perspiration starts at her temples.

I sit up when tears start to stream down her cheeks.

*"You should wake her, she’s having a nightmare."* Nero says and pushes me forward.

A bloodcurdling scream tears through the room and we both freeze for a second. The sound rips my soul apart.

*"Mate is hurting."* Nero howls.

I move forward in a flash. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and pull her towards me. “Emma, wake up.”

She blinks her teary eyes open and they’re red and hurt clouds them. My heart breaks with every sniffle and whimper she makes and I pull her closer to me. She’s so small that she almost disappears in my arms.

“Shh, don’t cry, my mate. You're safe here.”

Emma is shaking and her lip trembles. More tears stream down her cheeks.

Every tear feels like a dagger in my chest. “How can I make it better?”

She blinks back her tears and the clouds disappear from her eyes. She starts to wake up and look around her. She gasps when she really sees me and tries to pull back, but I won’t let her.

The distress disappears from her face. “What are you doing?” She asks.

*I’m starting to fall in love with you little mate and seeing you in pain is physically hurting me. You’re my weakness and I tear the world apart if something happens to you. *

*“Tell her.”* Nero says.

*“Are you crazy? She can never know.”*

I sigh and let her go. *“You had a nightmare.”*