Chapter 28 - Are they not my enemy?

EMMA

Everyone has stopped talking to me. Prince Hadrian, Paulina, Miles, Callum. They avoid my eyes and only talk to me when I ask for something. Callum and Miles are still here, but only because they have orders to be. Paulina is still doing my hair like every other day for the past week, but only because I asked her to. Physically she’s here, but she refuses any engagement with me other than what’s necessary. I didn’t realize I would miss her company. The timid servant that refuses to call me by my name and pushes me to read. Who I have come to rely on, without even realizing it.

Prince Hadrian has left me without another word, after I called him and everyone around me a filthy mutant. I don’t know why I said that. I want to say that I did, because I was angry for all the werewolves did to me and my people. There is truth to that. I’m still angry and devastated at everything that has happened . Sometimes I feel like that anger could consume me, but that wasn’t the reason. The words coming from my mouth at that moment didn’t feel true anymore. I was angry for sure, but it was mostly anger at myself. I don’t know why I helped the prince when he nearly died and I only realized that I wasn’t supposed to when he asked me about it. The words of insult were familiar. It fixed that weakening barrier between us.

Paulina combs through my hair and gets stuck on a knot and I wince. “My apologies, Princess Emma.”

“Don’t apologize. I feel like I should apologize instead. I should never have said what I did.“

Her eyes are still hurt in the mirror, but she waves away my apology.

“Your hair is done, Princess Emma. Would you please dismiss me, if you’re so kind?” Paulina says with a small bow.

“Oh, yes of course.” I awkwardly say and follow her out of the dressing room. I’m not really sure how to say ‘sorry I called you a filthy mutant’ without sounding like a jerk.

Paulina bows and exits the room, leaving me alone. I catch a glimpse of Miles in the doorway, but he averts his eyes. Even Miles avoids me now. I really messed up.

I open the bedroom door and I swear I see Miles hesitate for a second. His shoulders tense, but he still turns around and only out of duty. “Good morning princess, are you going somewhere?” The kindness in his eyes is gone.

I shouldn’t mind. Are they not my enemy? “I want to get some fresh air.”

Miles nods and we head for the gardens.

———

The air is crisp in the morning and cold against my cheeks.The wind creates ripples in the pond and the birds sing their songs in the high trees. The grass gives way to our footsteps. Miles is quiet, which is a first.

“I’m sorry.” I say, breaking the silence.

Miles shrugs his shoulders. “For what? Calling us filthy mutants or lying to me yesterday?”

I wince as the truth is laid in front of me. “Both, I guess.” I sink down in the grass and Miles does the same, only five feet away from me. I’ve noticed he always keeps a five feet distance from me as much as possible.

“I know you don’t want to be here.” He says as he picks at the grass and keeps his gaze away from me. “And believe me. There are many who don’t want you here either.”

“Like your brother.” I counter. Callum is nowhere to be found. He probably thinks the assignment is not worth it.

Miles’s face turns into a grimace and the sight is disheartening. “You can’t blame him Emma, just like we can’t blame you for hating us.”

I sigh and I can’t look at him, so I focus my eyes on the pond. “I don’t hate you. I just—“

“I know.”

I look up. “You do?”

The grimace is still on his face and I wish he would smile. “You’re not the only one who has lost people you love to this war.”

“You did?” I guess it makes sense, but it still surprises me.

Miles nods. “My parents.”

I can’t help, but be ridden with curiosity and I turn to face him.

“They met in the army. My mother was a captain and my father became one of her lieutenants. They were fated mates and knew the moment they looked into each other's eyes. It didn’t take long before my mother became pregnant of Callum and later me.”

I cannot comprehend the fact that werewolves can find their true love with one look in their eyes. That’s not how love works right? Isn’t love based on the actions they take, the experience you share and the person they are? I have so many questions, but don’t want to interrupt him.

“They died in each other's arms. Their hearts, pierced with silver.”

I take a deep breath, letting the information settle in. “That’s why your brother hates me, because I’m human.”

Miles is silent, not denying my statement.

“Do you hate me?” I whisper the question.

He shakes his head. “No. You weren’t the one who killed them.”

“I’m a jerk, aren’t I?” I say with a heavy head.

“No, only human.”

The saying feels less soothing than it usually would. “I don’t know if that’s supposed to be soothing or an insult.”

Miles smiles. “I guess a little bit of both.”

“I’m sorry I called you a fifty mutant.”

Miles chuckles. “I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.”

I lean my head against my knees, because I know he’s right. It was easier to apologize to Paulina and Miles, but the one I directed my insults to deserves one to.

————

The door to his office is daunting. Black wood with decorative carvings. My fingers trail along the edges as I try to convince myself to knock on the door. At the same time, I debate if I could survive running off in the dark forest instead.

“Are you going to stand there all day?” A low voice calls behind me.

I gasp and turn around to face the prince. Hadrian stands two feet away from me and I take a step back until my back hits the door. His presence surrounds me and reaches inside me. Waves of feelings that I cannot place roll through my body. Warmth? Jitters? Fever? My heart beats in rapid speed and it leaves me vulnerable and exposed. *Get a grip*. The need to pull up a barrier again feels imperative.

“I— eh…”

I wet my lips to explain why I’m here and his eyes zero in on the movement. He takes a deep breath and his jaw locks. He has a stack of papers in his hand and the pages rumple beneath his grip. “Move.”

The command is harsh. Fitting for a General in an army and I instinctively move away. He moves past me for the door and I grab his forearm. There is something about him that just wants me to throw a fit. I’m not one of his subjects. I’m human and he has no authority over me. “No. I came here to apologize and you’re going to listen.”

Hadrian watches my hand and turns his narrowed eyes at me. He tugs at his arm and pulls me with him. I fall forward onto his chest. “Go on then.”

I move my face away from his chest and place my hands on the hard muscles under his collarbone to steady myself. The scent of cedar, sandalwood and bergamot engulfs me. It fills my lungs with every breath I take. I can’t help the flutter of my eyes and the fog clouding my brain. When I look up, his eyes are smoldering. The warm whiskey color swirls with intensity. It sends a heatwave to the pit of my stomach and fills it with an unfamiliar need.