CHAPTER 42: Acting Weird

EREVELL’s P.O.V.

I woke up in the very same place as I always do. Hospital. I looked up, seeing the bright lights and and the white ceilings. I sighed, before gulping. I feel tired, as if my body was about to give up. But I know that I can’t do that... Not yet. I have to stay for a little bit longer, I have to stay awake until I can.

“You’re awake...” I was shocked, hearing my best friend’s voice instead of my Mom.

“Gab...” I trailed off, before I tried to sit down but he stopped me before I could even make a move.

“Don’t. Just lay down, Erevell.”

“What are you doing here? Where is my Mom?” I asked him, getting worried.

“Well, she got out to get some food. Are you feeling alright now?” he asked, and I just nodded as a sign of response.

“I’m fine now, Gab. You shouldn’t have come here. I disturbed you again,” I stated, feeling worried.

“I already knew everything, Erevell. You don’t have to lie to me and pretend like you are fine,” Gabriel firmly stated, ignoring my last statement.

“About what?”

“You’re... D-dying...” He gasped for some air, before tears fell into his cheeks. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Gab... I-I... I never intended to lie to you... I was just... I’m sorry...” I burst out crying, more afraid of what his reaction is going to be rather than dying. “I’m really sorry! Please don’t be mad at me...” Gab surprisingly pulled me for a hug, before I sobbed out loud.

“Shhh... Don’t cry... Don’t cry, Erevell... I’m not mad at you. I already prepared myself for this... Now listen to me...” He held my face before staring into my eyes. “We’re going to make each second count, alright? We will do everything and make it memorable... Please don’t be scared... I am here for you...”

I nodded several times, before hugging him once again. I felt safe, fear slowly vanishing out of my system. It turns out, I am not scared to die because I already prepared myself for that a long time ago. I was just scared not to be with them... To be with the person I love.

Days passed by. Nothing changed. The doctors already warn me about death. My body is not accepting any medications at all, and slowly, the last strand of hope is fading out of the blue. It was Saturday morning when Gabriel came to visit me again, this time, with a wide but bitter smile plastered upon his face.

“Can I ask you something?” he wondered, holding my hand.

“What is that?” I asked him, feeling tired but still holding on to my consciousness.

“Can I... Take you out?”

“Of course. Don’t you remember? I only got a few weeks left. And the doctors, they can’t do anything about my situation anymore. Besides, my body is rejecting all the medications so what’s the point of staying in this hospital, right? Of course you can take me out. I wanted to enjoy the remaining days of my life.”

“Please don’t talk like that. You sounded morbid.”

“But it’s true, Gab. I’m just accepting that fact.”

“Well, I won’t be accepting defeat not until it happened. Now can I take you out on a date?”

“Uhm... A friendly one?”

“A real one. I don’t care how you will look at it. But I wanted to take you out on a real date.” I smiled.

“Is it because you thought I never experienced one before?” I asked him, making him laughed.

“Well, I never said that. But anyways... What do you think about it?”

“Sure... Take me anywhere you want.”

He grinned, before he asked for my Mom’s permission. As usual, she allowed us to go. Even though she doesn’t want to say i verbally, I could feel that she wanted me to live my life to the fullest... So that when the inevitable thing happens, I will have no regrets.

Gabriel helped me out in preparing myself. We also borrowed a wheelchair from the hospital, before he helped me get inside of his car. After that, we reached one of our favorite restaurant during our high school days. I feel nostalgic, thousands of memories are coming back to me now.

“Do you like the place?” Gabriel asked me.

“Of course... This is our favorite place...”

“I’m glad you remembered that.”

He pushed my wheelchair inside, before the two of us ordered our meals. As we did, we began talking about the things that we did during high school. The order finally arrived, before we began eating. But as we did, something caught my full attention. Gabriel’s mouth is now covered with sauce, and as much as I wanted to tell him, I couldn’t because of the embarrassment. I thought that wiping it out myself would be much easier than telling him about it.

I pulled my handkerchief out, before wiping off the sauce at the corner of his lips. All of the sudden, I saw him blush, making me feel uneasy. I chuckled, trying to hide how mesmerized I am to witness him looking like that.

“Why are you blushing?” I asked him.

“Me? I am not!” he retorted, refusing to accept the truth.

I just laughed, before I continued eating my soup. This feels heavenly. I only got a few days left, yet I haven’t eaten everything that I want. I guess that’s better rather than nothing at all. Dying out of a disease and getting the warning that I need is better than suffering from an accident. At least, in this way, I would still be able to bid my goodbyes to the people I love. To tell them how important they are to me... That I love them, and I’m going to miss all of them even I ended up too early in the afterlife. I can’t do all of that if I died in an accident. So I guess that this is a better way to say goodbye... To spend my remaining days being happy and giving appreciation to the simple things in life.

I should have spend my remaining days in blissful moments, so I decided that confessing my feelings to Gab, should be excluded from that. I don’t want him to be pressured on loving me just because I am dying. I don’t want him pretending that he’s happy with me when in fact, he’s just staying because I needed him. I don’t want to look pathetic, not that I could feel that he doesn’t care about me. I know that he loves me as a friend, but more than that, it will only complicate things. Besides, if ever that he truly loves me, I don’t want to die knowing that I will be leaving him behind while suffering.

After those realizations, only now that I noticed how Gab is acting really weird. I wanted to ask him what’s wrong, but ever since he found out that I’m dying, he became like this. More appreciative and as if he doesn’t want to leave me even just for one second. Although I couldn’t blame him either. Being with a dying person... Surely, it will make anyone look weird, for no one ever wanted to be left alone one day without saying a proper goodbyes.