38

CHAPTER 38
This thought bugged me greatly as I felt like I didn't deserve to be her mate with what has happened since she got to my mansion.

‘Maybei shouldn't have accepted her and instead let her live her life.’ I thought to myself.

With Queen gone, I need to make sure I can protect her even if it's the last thing I do. Maybe this will repay her for what she had endured for me, during the past months that she has been here.

The day's passed quickly and Damien decided to leave the mansion, claiming that it had become too boring for me.

“Aiden, I need to leave, I just can't stay here and I think if I did, I would die of boredom, so I have to go back now.” Damien spoke as he met up with me.

“Okay, I understand. Alright, do take care of yourself.” I said.

“No problem, we will see later.” He promised before leaving the mansion.

Now looking at the big mansion, I felt empty without anyone around. ‘The past few days have left me empty without Ryan around but now that even Dakien has left, it makes me feel lonely.’ I thought as I walked through the mansion.

Immersing myself in my own thoughts without knowing when Ryan entered my vision as I could see her once again. Opening the door with smiles all over her face as she made herbway through the mansion.

The more I saw, this the more immersed I became in the vision. I could feel her as if she was present and a part of me felt restored until I tried touching her and everything disappeared as if it was never there.

Immediately this happened, I felt a part of me disappear as if lost as a result of the lack of her presence.

When Damien was still with me, I didn't feel it to this extent, there was still some kind of void in my heart but it is more obvious now.

‘Did I really like her this much, but how come?’ I thought to myself as I considered all this strange feeling that is coming over me.

‘When did it even happen?’ I thought for a whole before I almost slept my hear with my hand as I remembered when it started. ‘Umm, I guess it started when I saw her with Damien as i felt a little jealous since she was with him at that time and the second time is when I saw her pass through pain in front of me, which also brings me pain. During that time, I didn't know why but now I'm sure of it, I think I fell in love with her.’

I aged heavily as I thought about these things in my mind. Walking slowly in the mansion, I shook my head to get rid of the thoughts, but then I realized that I had walked into Ryan's former room.

Just looking at the room from the door reminded me so much about her, I could still smell her scent as I took a step further into the room.

I could see her acting carefree and also when she would be late and tries to meet up with us by increasing her speed in dressing up and joining us in the car.

I smiled bitterly as I recalled the mocking expression she would have on her face when speaking to me sometimes.

Even the coffee incident that happened in the office reminded me of her although I knew that it wasn't her doing.

Thinking about this made me feel more pain in my heart as I recollected each incident that had happened in the mansion and how many times I had failed to help or believe her.

“How stupid of me.” I muttered under my breath, while rubbing my head with my hands.

Sitting down on the bed, I used my hands to feel.the surface and immersed myself in the memory.

After some time had passed, I got ready for the thought. ‘It's time to focus, Aiden, you have no time to waste. Just focus on what you have to do and work very hard until you forget about her.’ I thought to myself.

Standing ho, I walked out of the room in large strides and went back to my room to sleep but before that I went to pick a wine glass and wine as well.

When I got to my room, I went to the balcony along with the glass of wine and wine. On getting there, I poured some of the content into the glass wine.

After taking a few sips and looking at the city landscape, I sighed once again “maybe it will disappear on a few days,’ i thought as I went back to the room.

In no time, a few days had passed and instead of things getting better, things became worse as I began to lose focus and only became more filled with Ryan's thoughts.

It had even gotten worse, to the extent that I could see her everywhere while sometimes tapping strangers on the shoulders thinking it's hard.

I could feel myself losing my sanity as tome goes on, it felt like torture yet I have no courage to confront her or dare to search for her.

I feel like I don't even deserve to be in her world after what she had endured for me and what I had made her pass through in the process.

I felt like in the sun of the earth, maybe it's because Ryan is the person in question, I don't know but if I'm sure of one thing, it's that I care a lot for her.

I didn't notice it before, because I still had Queen and I was uncertain of what I felt towards her at the time but now I'm sure of it, if not more than sure.

Sitting in my office chair, I couldn't help but glance at the seat beside me, only to see another female assistant there, I was somewhat disappointed by what I saw.

I don't know why I was expecting to see Tuan there but I had that hope in me, but seeing my assistant there, whenever I look at the seat now annoys me more than ever.