19. Trauma

Hades and I were sitting in the courtyard. Cerebrus heads were at my feet as he laid by my chair. I had no idea why the three headed dog seemed to be attached to me. He had slept in Hades and my room the night before. Hades and I had moved our passion to our room after the dining room, Cerberus following. Then afterwards while we were in our massive bed, Cerberus crawled in. Hades was not happy about it.

But I told him it was fine, Hades complained but I liked the three headed dog. Hades caved and Cerberus snuggled up to me. I thought it was cute. Hades glared at his pet. “He likes you more than me now.” I smiled at Cerberus and took one of my pastries breaking it into threes and offered it to the massive dog. Hades looked at me like I was nuts “You shouldn’t feed him from the table.”

One of the dogs' heads turned to Hades, He didn’t growl but showed his teeth. I laughed and petted that head. “You are right Cerberus loves me the most.” Hades just watched as the center head moved a little, so it laid in my lap. Hecate appeared. Her eyes looked horrified by what she was seeing. “That infernal beast, I thought once you woke, he would scamper off.” I just ran my hands over Cerberus heads. “It is good to see you Hecate.” I said but my face showed no emotion. “I missed you; I am glad your back, without you Hades is the most unpleasant of the gods.”

Hades snorted. It was early in the morning in the underworld. “Has Hades filled you in on what is going on, with the mortals, the other gods?” I shook my head. Hades spoke glaringly at Hecate. “She needs time to adjust being back to something normal.” Hecate rolled her eyes. “Has he at least told you he brought your nymph here for you?” I turned my head not understanding. “Lola?” she said. I looked at Hades who said, “I planned on telling you today, I wasn’t keeping her from you.”

My hands tightened on the arms of the metal chairs and black vines with small black thorns jutted out of them. I felt my skin sliced but I didn’t react. Thorns and vines seemed to come from me anytime I felt something too strongly. It happened the day before when Hades and I had been together in the dining room. It happened last night when I fell asleep and went into a nightmare. Luckily Cerberus had barked loudly, and I woke up before I had done too much damage. Hecates eyes looked down on my hands. I swore she smiled but it quickly fell away.

Cerberus nudged me and I released the magic and the vines withered into ash. I knew Hades would take me to see Lola, probably after we finished having breakfast in the courtyard. So, I let go of the anger. But I was dying to know something. “Hades you said my mother.” I saw Hade's jaw clench at the mention of my parent, I paused but went on. “Did she get our deal broken?” Hades nodded slowly. So, I was free to go wherever I wanted. I wasn’t under my mother's control now and was not demanded to come to Hades whenever he wanted me.

But I looked at him. The God of the Dead was looking at me intently. Maybe he was wondering if this was my out. I was not bound to him. I could leave and never come back if I wanted. I was sure this played into his pity party the day prior. “What did Zuese want my mother's help with?” I asked. I wanted to know all I had missed a decade was a long time, at least to mortals it was. Hecate was about to start but Hades told her “Silence, we will all speak about this in a few days.” The vines were creeping back up my arms.

I was angry I had a right to be informed and not treated like I was of no importance. Hades looked at my arms and then face. He didn’t have a look of pity. “Persephone Darling, Hecate and I will tell you everything that has been happening, I don’t plan on keeping anything from you. I just want you to have a few days, you have been asleep for two months, you have a lot of power, and it is not super controlled right now. You need some time. I know you will tell me what you can handle, you made that clear yesterday, but please just a few days.”

Hades continued. “A few days is going to make no difference with the state of things for the mortals.” Hecate cut in “Hades makes a point.” She glanced at my arms. “Yeah, and if you want to be a part of anything going on we will need to work on you using your gift, it is a bit erratic right now.” I looked at her and she said with a snark “See I told you. You are more powerful than you thought.” I tried to offer her a smile, but my face wouldn’t form one.

I knew I had some slices from the thorns, but it would heal. Instead of talking to me Hecate turned to Hades. “Has Persephone shown any other signs of trauma other than not controlling her gift.” I stood flipping the whole table. “Don’t talk about me like I am not here.” I had thorns that were attached to my hands jutting out. Hecate looked at me. “Sorry, you are right, but you wouldn’t know Persephone, everything for you is just you. Hades would have noticed a difference that is why I asked him.”

I understood what she was saying, but I didn’t like it even if I could understand it. I didn’t even know why I had acted out that way. It was out of the blue. I was not one to lash out. I pulled my chair up and sat back down. It took a moment to get the massive thorns to go away. Hecate said. “So, I take that as, yes there is trauma.” I didn’t respond and neither did Hades. Though Cerberus growled at the goddess. “Stop dog.” she said firmly. Cerberus turned to me, and I nodded, and he came to sit beside me.

“Does my mother know that I am not in her cage anymore?” I asked. I had to know if she would try to come get me. Hades and Hecate answered simultaneously. “I don’t know.” I nodded. “I am going to play with Cerberus, I am sure you two want to talk. Please come get me when you're done, so you can bring me to Lola.” I was aggravated and wanted to be alone, or at least not around anyone who could talk. I didn’t want to see Lola when I was this agitated. I wondered if I would always be on edge like this? Hades grabbed my hand as I began to walk. I stopped and turned to him. He stood and kissed me, softly. I let him but pulled away.

As I walked away, I caught what Hecate said, “Hades, when are you going to make her queen?” I kept walking. Cerberus was next to me. “Find your ball I will throw it for you.” I said to the dog. He bounded off as I sat down in the field. He came back with a red ball. Dropping it in front of me. We started our game. I couldn’t stop thinking about what Hecate asked Hades. He was going to make me his queen? I doubted he would know. Maybe before I was imprisoned but certainly not now. Before the cage, I had just learned about the world. Ten years had passed, and I was sure things were different now.

Maybe technology had changed, maybe not. I didn’t know. I was just figuring things out, but then I was imprisoned and for what love. I sneered and a massive thorn shot up from the ground. Cerberus ran around it. I threw his ball again. Hecate was right though, I was erratic because of trauma. But, even if I knew it, I didn’t feel that way. I felt normal, like everything I did was normal until after I did it.

Hades thought I would leave him, but it was more likely he would leave me. I was a mess; I couldn’t control these thorns or vines. I ran my hand over the grass I sat on. Maybe if I could just form some flowers, I would feel like me, or the old me that was. I concentrated but all that happened was a thick black thorn started to sprout from the ground like a sharp mini mountain. I didn’t at the time even know how I had learned to do this. I figured it must be isolation, but there was no way to know for sure.

I looked out at the field. This was my home now. I knew when I went into that cage the Underworld would end up being my home, if I ever escaped, because that was where Hades was. I laid back in the field Cerberus lying next to me. “At least you are here Cerberus, I don’t scare you, do I?” The three heads came in close and licked my face. “I am glad you are here.” I didn’t close my eyes, just looked up into the sky of the underworld. I don’t know how long I laid there but then Charon face was looking down at me. “Persephone.” He smiled and I tried to smile, but it wouldn’t form on my face. I guess Cerberus and Hades only got that expression now.