30.Self Pity

Hecate beamed at me. “My my Queen Persephone you are practically glowing, I assume your wedding night went well.” I shot her a blushing look. She just laughed. “For someone who has only had one sexual partner and hardly any experience it seems you have become rather wanton. I mean all night the underworld shook with Hades and you orgasming all night long and well into this morning.” I was blushing harder now.  

“He never shook this place when he was with Mithe or any other nymph he took to bed that is for sure.” Hecate said and my whole face fell. I didn’t know why I felt so sad knowing that he had been with anyone else. Hecate came to me and ran her hands on my back. “I am sorry I thought I was being funny I didn’t mean to upset you Persephone.” She said but it had already been put out there, and it made me sad to know I wasn’t the only one that got that from him.  

It made me feel small like I was back to being a child or something. It didn’t matter that I was well over a century old. I felt like I was a little girl. What was this feeling? I knew I was naive I had been really until I encountered Hades that day years ago. He had opened the world for me, and he had shown me things. I now knew I was beyond stupid. I had to be to  think I was the only being he shared something with.  

Lola said nymphs were sexual beings and just now it was occurring to me there were others. Gods, I felt so stupid. “Hecate I am going to go” I said, I wanted to think I wanted to think why I was so dam stupid, and I wanted to be alone to do that. “What, you just got here we were supposed to train today.” She snapped. “Well I don’t want to anymore” I waved walking off. “You can’t just” She said but I used my power to vanish.  

I didn’t want to cry in front of her. I found myself alone close to the flames that blocked Tartarus. I just needed to be alone to think about everything I knew or didn’t know. I knew I was younger than many of the gods. But I was defiantly older than any mortal, yet even Mortals were more informed-on things than me. I woke up this morning feeling more in control than I had since being released from my mother's cage.  

Hades said it was all the worship from the souls in the underworld. Apparently, they knew they had a queen now, and their worship made my control formidable, and my power had grown it seemed overnight. That or Hades had shared a lot with me when we tied ourselves in marriage and coronation. I didn’t know.  

But even with more power and way more control here I was feeling like a naive child. How could I be so stupid. Of course, Hades had other lovers, how had it not occurred to me? I never knew what I was doing yet he always did. For gods sake Lola taught me what blushing was not to mention she explained sex to me. And Hades had to explain some of his crude names for body parts to me after the first time.  

I laid down on the long grass and cried. I felt so small and stupid, then stupid again for feeling this way. I knew Hades loved me, of course he did, he married me, made me his queen. We were fated for god's sake. But I was so naive. My mothers' words came back to me about me being a child and being powerless, and I just cried more.  

I heard “Queen Persephone” Being called out and sat up a little and saw several people out walking my name was called again. Then I saw they were nymphs and my insides felt coarse over it. They had slept with my husband too. I hated feeling insecure. I hated it. But I wasn’t ready to face it, not yet. I laid back down on the grass. I didn’t want to be found. I ruled this place now too, just like Hades.  

Surely that meant if I didn’t want to be found I wouldn’t be. My name kept being called but I didn’t respond. I completely ignored them, not wanting to be seen, and I wasn’t. Eventually they stopped searching where I was which relaxed me and I was able to go back to wallowing in my self pity.  

But the longer I laid there, the pity shifted. I then became angry. Why wouldn’t Hades tell me this. He kept Mithe around still. True I hadn’t seen her since I returned, but she was around. Of that, I was sure. Lola had said she attempted to seduce my husband while I was locked up. Then there were others. He hadn’t just been with Mithe, other nymphs worked in our home and why did he keep them around, his old lovers?  

I stood up brushing off the ash that coated the grass here. I knew it was childish what I was about to do, but I didn’t care. Every nymph but Lola was about to be kicked out of my home. We could have souls working in our home for all I cared. I always got what I wanted, and I wanted no former lovers around. I hated it, in fact they were going to go do something else. I glanced at the burning river and a smile formed on my face. If they really irritated me, then they could go to Tartarus then.  

Yes, this seemed like a good plan, I wanted them away from Hades especially the old lovers. They would need to find new employment and my husband well he had some apologizing to do to me. I was determined to get my way as I always did.