20. Your Calling

“What can I help you with Charon?” I asked not moving from laying in the grass. Instead of looming over me Charon laid next to me. I didn’t look at him as he spoke “You know Hades missed you. He has been a wreck since you were gone.” I laid there “Yeah, I heard.” I said with no emotion. I was trying to not get angry and lash out, as my gift seemed to do. “I don’t think you understand what I mean?” He spoke. I couldn’t help but feel a little selfish. What about what I had gone through.

“Hades, lashed out.” I finally turned to look at Charon, wanting him to go on. “He lost his temper on the souls in the Underworld, dragged a bunch of them to Tartarus and tortured them.” I didn’t think he would do that. It didn’t even sound like him. Hades had built a paradise for the souls, or at least something that resembled the world of mortals. “He even tortured me, and I am his best friend. Hecate was the only one who went unscathed from his wrath, mostly because she is just as powerful.”

“Hades tortured you?” I asked curiously. “Yeah, I could take it. I think he felt bad afterward, but I knew he had to take his frustrations, and it was just my turn that day, among others.” I didn’t understand why he would do that. “Why would he do that, especially to you. I thought you were best friends.” I spoke. He nodded and said “Of course we are. But I said the wrong thing and he lost it. It has been a long ten years.” He looked solemn. “Charon are you guys' still friends?”

He nodded. “But why would he hurt you?” I didn’t understand. “Because he needed it, and I would heal and knew I could take his wrath. Honestly, I thought after me he would stop. Seeing what he had done. It did work, though. He went to the fates after he saw what he did and then brought you back.” I laid there thinking but Charon continued. “Persephone, he needs you. You keep him calm; I have never seen Hade's love anyone, even with me. Yes, we are friends, but he does not yield for me or anyone, not even his brothers. He has been an island since the beginning. He needs you by his side. Especially with what is going on up top.”

There it was again. The thing I had yet to learn. “I don’t know anything about that.” He nodded. “Hades doesn’t want to burden you with it. He is scared that if you help, he will lose you again. I will tell you it has gotten really bad up top. Zues wanted Hades to participate, but Hades wouldn’t. Not until he found you and even Zues can’t control him. I am not telling you all of this to freak you out, but you must know what has and will happen if he loses you again. His temper is unmatched, even amongst the other gods.”

I rolled my eyes and said, “There is one God, or should I say Goddess, that has worse anger.” He was quiet. “My mother.” I spoke. He nodded “That may be true. Demeter can be vicious.” I looked back to the sky. “I don’t know what you expect of me Charon?” He sighed. “I want you to be his queen. He would have gotten around to making you his equal before your mother locked you up. I think now he won’t ask you because he is nervous you will say no. When your deal with Hade's was broken, he thought once he got you out, your freedom would be all you wanted.”

I was silent for a long time. “Hades has not asked that of me.” I said calmly. I liked talking to Charon. He was straightforward and told me the truth. Open and honest. “He won't Persephone, he won’t want you to ever feel trapped again. You are the only being I have even known him to love.” Cerberus had come back and even laying down I threw his ball again. “Even Cerberus he doesn’t love. He likes him, but he does not love him.” I sighed but Charon kept talking. “Persephone, you will have to ask for the crown.” I looked at him. That was something big of him to ask me.

“He won’t deny it to you. He wants that, to be tied to you forever and tying you as the Queen of the Underworld will tell him are never going anywhere. And if you do, you will always be back because you oversee helping him run the Underworld. No God or Goddess could restrict access to your domain.” I looked away. “Charon, I am a mess, I can’t control my gift. Everything I can do is shrouded in darkness; I can’t even grow flowers anymore. I can only manage a smile for Cerberus and Hades. What kind of queen will I be if I am wrapped in insanity and darkness?”

“You two are a pair, Hades is all darkness and when you left, he went insane, so really you guys are one in the same, but I can tell you still have compassion. He needs that, we all do.” I didn’t respond. I just lay there. “Persephone, you have to ask him for the crown. He needs you; we all need you.” I again didn’t respond, but then a thought occurred to me. “Wouldn’t me becoming queen mean I have to marry Hades?” He nodded. “He won’t want that.” I said. “You are wrong, he has wanted that since he first saw you.” I rolled my eyes. “How do you know?” Charon responded. “He told me. He knew what you were capable of when he saw you, the way you sassed him but had no fear or anger. Your lack of hatred and anger made him feel, well his words he used was, it felt foreign and refreshing.”

I snorted. “Persephone, all gods are expected to play a role in the world. Weather on earth, Olympus, or the Underworld. You have been kept away from a role for far too long. Not just during your imprisonment but growing up with Demeter. She stopped you from having any obligations. But everyone must serve. But, unlike all of us, you have a choice in where you serve. Eventually Zues will ask you to do something. He asks that of everyone. Demeter did a good job keeping you hidden from him. But she asked to break your deal with Hades so now he knows about you. It is only a matter of time.”

He made a good point, but I hardly knew anything. My mother's words ran across my mind. “You are small.” Charon had to see the doubt in my eyes. “Persephone, you have opinions on things, Hades told me so. He said you were thoughtful about your views, asking for some time to think things over before you gave your impute. That shows you have good discernment. Also keeping you from the gods, did you a service, you are not vain and not rash. That is something most gods do not possess.

“Charon, I can’t control my magic, it just shoots out when I can’t get ahold of my emotions.” That was evident from breakfast and my nightmares. Cerberus was back but instead of wanting me to throw the ball, he lay next to me. “So, you learn to control it. Hades will help you, and so with Hecate, and even I can help. Though, my power is fairly weak compared to the other two, mostly because I am not a god.” I nodded. “So will you consider everything I said?” I lay there silently, then spoke. “I will. But I think you overestimate me.”

Charon shook his head. “I do not. Do you love Hades?” My heart pounded. “I do.” Charon smiled. “That is all there is to know. If you can love him, you can love the underworld.” I sighed. “My mother said Hades is Death and death cannot love.” I spoke. Charon was now silent but then said. “That may have been so up until a little over ten years ago. He fell in love with you. I am actually sure you two have been fated. But I wouldn’t know only the fates do. But I would advise not going to find out. There prices are too steep.” I knew that was true. “Well, I better let you go, with everything going on up top, there have been a lot of souls coming down.”

I wanted to know what was going on with the mortals. Charon, Hecate, and even Hades seemed stressed about it. Hades said he would tell me in a few days. I wondered about what Charon said. Was I going to be asked to serve at some point by the king of the gods, Zues. I didn’t want to do that. But ruling by Hades' side seemed like something I would be terrible at. Even if I was getting the hand of things before the cage, that didn’t mean I would still be able to do it well now. I started to get stressed about my inadequacies and a massive thorn shot up from where Charon had lain. Cerberus leaned into me, and I calmed down.

“Thanks” I said to the three headed dog. He seemed to want to help me, and I had no idea why, but I appreciated it. I let silence fill me and felt calm. Then I felt him before I saw him. Hades, the king of the underworld, and I smiled. He was mine; my mother was wrong. If she had been so wrong about him, maybe she was wrong about me having no real power. I could even have the opportunity to prove her wrong and make her see me. “Want to go see your friend?” Hades asked and I nodded as he helped me up.