Chapter 2

I couldn’t get myself to move much for the hours that led up to the wedding. And suddenly, I only had three hours left to get there. Of course, I was required to be an extra hour late to not raise suspicions with Barry Hall’s sister. She couldn’t know what I was there for but I doubt she’d even know who I was.
She wasn’t the one I was worried about. Just thinking about seeing Cristo there made me want to throw up with absolute dread. Obviously, he’d be there. I knew Alexakis and Caron would be there so their son would have to tag along.
Just what was it that pulled me to him the way it did that night?! A frustrated, low groan bubbled behind my throat as I covered my face helplessly.
“To fucking hell with you, Cristo.” I breathed. And I hated the way the air felt on my lips when I said his name. The way it rolled onto my tongue. The way my mouth remembered his skin and wanted hi–
ENOUGH! I yelled inside my head and threw myself off the bed, rushing into the bathroom for a quick, cold shower. I needed to get up and focus.
Although everything was a blur, I had a carefully planned list in my head that I was ticking off. Legs? Shaved. Arms? Moisturized. Face? Threaded and hairless. I was as soft as a baby’s bottom and it felt wonderful. Pulling on my robe, I headed out and threw my closet open. My hand floated around over the hangers, indecisive. But there was a memory tugging at the back of my head of a beautiful dress I once bought but never wore…
But it’s so old, I thought to myself, Most definitely out of season.
Shaking my head, I decided to close the wardrobe and turn away from it. I didn’t care how old that dress was, I needed it.
Marching off to my storage room at the back of the apartment, I rummaged through one of my unpacked suitcases that I thought I would never open again. A suitcase of dresses from my late teens to early 20s. When things were good with Mark.
I’m not sure why I packed that dress in there. Aunt Marina, mom’s older sister had given it to me, saying she hoped to see me in it when Mark and I held an “engagement”. This was shortly after mom told everyone I was pregnant and it was a horrible memory because that was why I told mom that Mark had done what he did to me. That it was against my will. That I was injured and broken. And how I knew what he did wasn’t okay because just because we were dating didn’t mean he could touch me if I didn’t want him to.
Of course, to my family, I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Mark and I had to get married now that I was having a baby. I wasn’t allowed to abort it either. My family was so ridiculously religious that mom disowned me when I told her what Mark did. Years after, when I got pregnant and had a slight seizure because of the morning sickness, the hospital called her up. She didn’t come to see me, but Aunt Marina did.
It hurt so much. I knew she only wanted to support me but none of them were willing to understand how I didn’t want this at all.
“Mija,” she said softly, naively affectionate, “God’s blessings come in strange ways.”
“He hurt me, tía!” My heart was churning in my chest as I started to sob in fear, clinging to her arm as my face heated up, “Please, tía, don’t let him take me home please!”
“He is your–”
“HE’S NOTHING TO ME!” I screamed in her face, throat clogging with bile as tears streamed down my face, “HE HURT ME! I DON’T WANT THIS BABY!”
Smack!
My cheek felt a lot hotter than it already was, stinging. But it wasn’t painful. I didn’t feel like crying anymore.
I felt anger.
Her eyes were almost regretful when I turned to look at her. Almost. She was guarding her emotions now for the sake of complacency. But I knew that deep down, she understood that what had happened to me wasn’t okay in the slightest. The only thing holding her back was her religious fear that grandfather had instilled in her. And I wondered if her kids were here for the same reason my kid would be. My uncle wasn’t exactly a good man behind closed doors, I knew that. Everyone knew that.
“Leave.” I ordered calmly. And she did, leaving the neatly wrapped dress behind.
Holly barked next to me, snapping me out of my reverie. I jumped back in shock when I looked down. The dress had popped out from between the clothes unexpectedly as I moved an old shirt away. It lay there in a transparent airtight bag, the fabric just as pristine when I first saw it. Iridescent blue velvet. I slowly reached out for it, hands trembling.
Should I? I asked myself, fingers inching closer. In all honesty, I was having second thoughts. This dress had horrible memories but…it was such a pretty dress.
My phone rang in my back pocket, making me jump out of my skin.
“Lilith?”
“Marcus! Hi.”
“I’ll be there in an hour, okay? Are you done?”
“Yeah, almost…” I breathed, looking at the dress once again. It had to be this one. There was no going back. I hung up on Marcus and snatched the bag out of the suitcase, rushing to the bedroom with Holly excitedly in tow.

I stared at myself, somewhat in awe.
“Holy shit…” I whispered. I had no idea it was this gorgeous. The blue shimmered occasionally to a faint deep red only for a millisecond as the light hit it. It had a cowl neck that rested limply just over the swell of my chest, the thin straps resting on my shoulders delicately. A long strip ran down from my mid-thigh, and I stuck a leg out to look at the deep blue star-studded Louboutin’s I’d paired them with. A very thin gold chain fell fluidly onto my collarbones, coupled with gold drop earrings.
“Do you think I should put my hair up?” I looked at Holly. A small smile slipped onto my face as she barked happily, and I turned back to the mirror to pull my hair into an updo, leaving a few loose strands to frame my face.
Years ago, I wouldn’t have looked good in this dress. I was horribly weak, depressed, and sometimes gained too much weight before Mark cut off my food. Hell, I didn’t look this good six years ago when I first met Cristo.
Why the hell am I still thinking about him?
The doorbell rang and I rushed to gather my things into my purse, grabbing my white mink stole to wrap around myself for on the way. Holly jumped onto my bed and I leaned down to kiss her head, dropping my lipstick into my purse before leaving the room. I opened the door to Marcus standing in the doorway in a nice grey suit. Definitely from Dior. He hadn’t looked up at me yet as he fixed his deep blue tie.
“I had to get this tie last minute.” He chuckled, “Would be weird to not match with you in some–”
Finally raising his head to look at me, I blushed under his dropped jaw.
“Li…Lilith.” He sounded breathless. I chuckled nervously and wrapped my stole around my chest, lightly clearing my throat.
“Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, but…” his eyes travelled to assess me, “Wow. You’re absolutely beautiful, you know that?”
I was hoping my chest would warm up at his words but…it didn’t. And I didn’t care. I just smiled at him and looked away, walking out to lock the door behind me. I slipped my arm under his elbow and pulled him along before we could be late.

The sun was low in the horizon, but nowhere near setting when the guests started to arrive. A live band serenaded light, lively music into the air, and a server offered me a cream puff which I accepted in delight. I hadn’t had a cream puff in a while. Marcus took one too and shoved it carefully in his mouth.
“Gosh, this is good.” He moaned.
“I know, right?” I sighed, “The food is always the best part about these gatherings.”
“Well, I don’t know,” he said looking around, “the place is wonderful. Who designed this?”
He was right. The wedding was set within the vicinity of a golf course. The grass was fresh, and the bushes sprung with delicate little flowers. White pillars defined the space that were connected with silk and purple wisteria flowers flowing down from them. Simple yet elegant chandeliers were seemingly suspended in mid-air, along with crystals peppered overhead. It looked magical, but it would be even more so when it was darker. I had expected a daytime wedding but Barry was an unconventional guy.
“Renée Helvig.” I said, “She’s a budding interior designer and a great events manager. I think she designed for the Alexakis and Caron charity party last month, too. Barry Halls’ sister, Blair Halls, is her apprentice. Woman’s got an innovative eye so I won’t be surprised if she’s further up the ranks by next year in Renée’s team. Who knows, she might even have her own team within the company.”
“You know a lot about these people.”
I chuckled and looked at him in amusement, “That’s literally my job!”
“Oh!” his eyes lightened humorously, “Sorry, I’m not familiar with match-making. Say, you think I’ll get a good rep being here with you? Like, will people know me and come to my clinic?”
“I’ll introduce you to some people.” I rolled my eyes and led him around as I met people. I saw the familiar glint of Mrs. Beaumont’s silvery white hair in the distance and rushed to her. She was dressed elegantly in a jade floral dress that flared around her hips, banding around her torso held by flowing sleeves that made her look so much younger than she was. She had really aged like fine wine.
“Lilith, my dear!” she cried out softly in awe as I went in for a kiss on the cheek, “Look at you! It’s been so long. Oh, turn around for me!”
Despite feeling bashful, I gave her a nice and confident twirl. I could never really stop feeling like her student, and she’d kill me if I showed anything lesser than my head held high. I couldn’t afford to be vulnerable or shy as a matchmaker. As part of the crowd, I needed to be on level with everyone else there. No more, no less.
“Should I be surprised you’re here?” Mrs. Beaumont smiled at me.
“Not at all,” I winked, “I have a client here.”
“Of course, I suppose Barry called you in. I suggested you to him.”
“Oh?” I was caught by surprise.
“You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders for today’s generation.” She waved her hand, “Back then, it was all about money and status. Young people don’t care for that anymore; you know? I’ve grown out of this work.”
“Oh my, have you retired?”
“Most definitely so. I’ve got enough to live on comfortably for a good twenty years…if I have that many, that is.” she laughed and I shook my head, patting her shoulder.
“Oh, do meet my plus one for today.” I remembered Marcus standing behind me and brought him closer. “This is Marcus Blight. He somehow knows a lot of random things.”
“I’m also a cosmetic surgeon.” He smiled politely and shook her hand gently, “How do you do?”
“Very well, thank you.” She smiled back, but I knew she was assessing him with her eyes and matching him up to me. Her eyes darted to me almost accusingly. I looked away quickly, pretending to know nothing. She clearly didn’t approve. Marcus, the poor sweet guy, didn’t seem to notice a thing.
“A-anyway!” I squeaked higher than I meant to, “I really should go meet the others. Mrs. Beaumont, we really should meet and catch up someday soon.”
“I might have a dinner party in a few weeks.” She grabbed my hand tenderly, “Do come. Also, you look absolutely stunning, my dear. It feels like only yesterday when you walked into my office to intern for me.”
I almost chortled, mortified. Those weren’t my best days. My fashion sense was horrible and I couldn’t speak without stammering from anxiety. Mrs. Beaumont really had made me the woman I was in front of her. She was practically the mother figure that I’d never had.
Almost.
I was still learning to let people in. Speaking of which, I needed to find Aubrey. I would need her help in getting me closer to Blair Halls.
“Ah, good times.” I shook my head and squeezed her hand softly, “I’ll be waiting for your invitation then.”
She smiled and let me go.
Walking around with Marcus for a few minutes, I finally spotted Aubrey in a turquoise dress, a little towards the back of the party which was quite unusual. Aubrey loved being the center of attention to attract men. I guess it was a good thing that she was trying to set herself in the background for a change, to just observe people.
“Found her.” I stated and Marcus followed behind me.
“Will you need me to help you with whatever your mission is?”
“No, you can walk around if you wish.”
“Fair enough.”
I walked closer to Aubrey who was moving further and further away from me. I would’ve called her out but it felt inappropriate within the crowd that was starting to fill up the place. People were starting to take their seats and I knew I had to catch Aubrey quickly.
It took a while before she finally stopped behind a large vase with an overgrown bush bursting with forget-me-nots.
“Aubrey!” I hissed, hoping she’d hear. And she did. Her eye were filled with surprise as I approached her, and as I weaved through the crowd to get closer, I saw Jenna with her too.
“Ah, Jenna!” I perked up and she smiled, coming in to hug me, “Wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“I go where my parents go.” She rolled her eyes, “But, well, Aubrey invited me so I didn’t bother fighting them to stay home.”
“The trip’s been good to you, I see.”
Aubrey looked distracted, her eyes everywhere but on me.
“Hey, Aubrey.” I reached out for her arm, “I need an opening for Blair.”
She looked at me, realization dawning onto her, “Oh, she’s the target. I got you. After the vows then?”
“Yes.” I confirmed, “Stick with me for a bit then you’re free to go.”
Marcus and I were seated not too far from the altar. I couldn’t register any of it, in all honesty. The bride passed me, stood at the alter, kissed the groom as the sun set behind them and the little crystals in the air lit up, leaving everyone in awe. I’m sure it was beautiful but good fucking grief Cristo was right there! As the best man no less!
Should I really be surprised?
“Gosh, that was lovely.” Marcus breathed next to me. I tore my eyes away from Cristo.
“Hm? Yes, very.”
“I guess I’m kind of a romantic.” He shrugged, “Weddings are so nice.”
“It’s all just a show.” I shook my head. Marcus was silent beside me and I scanned for Aubrey. She was the bridesmaid and was to be positioned right by Blair Halls at all times.
“You really think that?” he said. I looked over at him quickly because he sounded genuinely upset.
“I mean…” I trailed off, not really knowing what to say, “it’s just a picture, you know. Who knows what goes on when we leave. Not all marriages in the world of the rich are based on love.”
“I suppose.” He sighed. I gave him a quick smile and went back to looking for Aubrey. Admittedly, Marcus was a bit naïve. Perhaps sheltered. Perhaps too privileged. I wondered if his parents ever fought in front of him, or did something out of line, or ever slammed a door in the others’ face. I wondered if his mom had ever ran off to her own mom’s in the middle of the day for a break and left him with his dad.
Was his life really that good?
I felt a hand on my shoulder as the couple disappeared for their dance. A quick glance over my shoulder revealed Aubrey looking at me expectantly. We shared a knowing look and I got up to go with her. I turned to Marcus and placed a hand on his shoulder for his attention. “You’ll be okay? I’ll be gone for just a bit.”
“Yeah, I’ll be at the bar.” He smiled. With that confirmation, Aubrey whisked me away.

It was quite a wait, but once Blair was done dancing with her brother, Aubrey led me to her at a long food table by a fountain. And we were almost there until a familiar face popped in front of me. My eyes stopped as his silver stormy eyes pierced into mine.
My heart stopped for a moment and the skin on my chest sparked with goosebumps. I felt embarrassed that he could do that with just a look and I was left wishing I’d worn a firmer bra.
“Aubrey, Lilith, hi!” Cristo’s voice was low and strained. “What, uh,” his hand caught onto the air awkwardly until it settled onto the table, “What are you ladies doing here?”
“Uh, work?” I said coldly. Aubrey nudged me but I ignored her. I could see her roll her eyes from the corner of my vision.
“Jenna’s gone towards the bar if you’re looking for her.” She said.
“No, um…” he said, his voice dry. His eyes held mine and I felt like I’d combust any moment now. “Lilith, we…need to talk.”
“Right now?” I deadpanned. Did I have to sound so dead? Aubrey visibly flinched next to me and Cristo looked a little hurt. I didn’t care, though. I had my guard up. Hard.
My lips still tingled achingly for him, though.
“Please?”
I sighed and looked at Aubrey. She wordlessly walked away, but squeezed my arm for assurance. I turned back to Cristo, trying to breathe. He looked as playful as always, with a pale turquoise shirt with a deep turquoise suit, paired with a floral tie. It brought out the deep copper in his skin and the intensity of his deep grey eyes.
Holding his arm out to me, he gave me a pleading look. I took it and let him lead me away.