Chapter 8

I’d left quietly, early the next morning, with all the documents in hand. Back into the city, I stopped at a diner for breakfast before continuing the ride. It was weird, coming home in broad daylight. I hadn’t done that in forever.
The walls seemed lonelier than ever. I wasn’t sure if I was hallucinating or grieving, but it looked like the paintings were melting off the walls, looking for an escape from the unbearable emptiness of the air. I didn’t understand why it felt like that. I was home, there was furniture, there was food. Did I need a smaller place?
Maybe I needed a smaller place.
Holly came bounding towards me in excitement and I opened my arms for her to jump into. Holding her tight as she licked me, I realized I hadn’t taken her on a walk myself in ages. I grabbed my phone and called her dogwalker to tell her to take the day off.
“Let’s go for a walk after breakfast, yeah?” I whispered to her, “I can’t take it being cooped up in here anymore.”
I changed into my athletic gear and decided a run would do me good. I got into a light tracksuit and slipped on my unused running sneakers, glad I was finally putting them to use. Holly barked when her bowl was empty, and I grabbed her leash to secure around her neck. We walked out the door and I began my run as soon as I left the building.
Was it a subconscious decision that I found myself at ‘my favorite pond’? It always reminded me of Cristo, being in this spot. Against my own awareness, I caught myself smiling at the memory.
“Is it fair to assume you’re the one stalking me today?”
“I wasn’t!”
“You’re pretty far away from your favorite pond.”
“It’s not my favorite.”
Why was I so mean to him? It’s not like he ever meant me any harm. I messed things up with a perfectly nice guy before anything could even happ–
No.
Ah, now I know why. I liked him, didn’t I? Even if I didn’t know him that well, he still got under my skin and got comfortable in a nook right under my rib where it was the most vulnerable.
How did he do that whilst being so mysterious?
I found myself walking towards the seat across from the pond and sitting down, lost in thoughts. What did I know about him? I’d profiled him all those years go, and I’m sure I remembered enough about him.
He was alcohol intolerant. Was born in Greece and stayed there until he was five. Loved languages and arts. Is an architect, was a sculptor? Maybe still is? He had social media, didn’t he?
I pulled my phone out and headed straight to Instagram. His username was generic enough, it was literally just his name. Laughing at the memory where he playfully accused me of stalking, I stalked him through his pictures. Didn’t post many selfies, he had professional pictures of himself standing next to his pieces. He put up a lot of pottery videos. It was cute, always in a full sleeved shirt rolled up, a messy apron, and experimenting with various types and colors of clay. He had a lot of followers, but was still rather inconspicuous compared to most influencers I was aware of.
But I was getting nowhere closer to knowing him.
My phone’s screen changed and I almost dropped it upon seeing an unknown number. Snapping myself out of the jump-scare, I breathed deeply and accepted the call.
“Hello?”
“Hi, is this Lilith Mendez?”
“Yes?” I said unsurely, but the voice sounded awfully familiar.
“It’s Blair, I hope I’m not bothering you. My assistant called yours and she told me you weren’t in the office today. Is everything all right?”
I rolled my eyes. Of course, it had to be her.
“Yeah, no, everything’s fine. I wasn’t expecting your call.”
“I’m so sorry about this but my team forgot to mention that there was going to be a one on one rehearsal before the speed dating event. I’m urgently getting everyone’s available timing to have a meeting with them. Are you free any time soon?”
“I’m free right now.” I offered, wanting to get this over with and have two peaceful weeks before she infected my peace again.
What was this peace I kept talking about? As if I ever had any of it to begin with.
“Great!” she cheered a little too enthusiastically, “Oh, this is wonderful. How about you drop by in…”
“An hour.” I filled in.
“Awesome. See you soon!”

I got home immediately and dressed myself appropriately in an all-black base with a beige overcoat. Clipping on some minimalistic gold jewelry and holding my hair back in a ponytail, I grabbed my stuff and headed out for hers. Driving through the city felt calming, especially late morning when it was mostly empty because everyone was at work. I wish I did this for myself more.
After finding a parking spot, I made my way to the entrance of the large, overly fancy building made of nothing but glass and steel. It looked like the looming structure would collapse on me any moment, but that was just me. I hated overly large buildings.
Passing by the cars, one of them caught my eye. A red Ferrari. Bright.
My heart rose up to my throat, but I knew I was overthinking it. There was no way she was the one who visited my mom at night. I didn’t even know if the Ferrari was really her car. I couldn’t assume anything.
Assume nothing, I reminded myself and entered the building, the car well out of my mind.
I went up to the receptionist to introduce myself but I didn’t need to. They knew me. They took me straight to Blair’s office on one of the topmost floors. I almost rolled my eyes at the long elevator ride.
How inconvenient.
This is why I hated large buildings. The imposition of status and how unreachable the higher ups made themselves look. It was unnecessary.
Finally, the doors dinged open after a full two minutes of unbearable pop and classic fusion. I wasn’t purposely hating on the company, but the music was genuinely awful. I thought they’d be careful about the music seeing as how it sets the mood at a wedding to begin with.
I followed the receptionist down the ridiculously long hallway that I would’ve expected to be lined with offices, but no. It was literally a glass walkway with a view. That was it.
What was Helvig thinking?
We approached large white doors inscribed with the company logo, with the initials B.H plated in gold and placed seamlessly on either door. And I couldn’t help but stop and stare at the ridiculousness of it all. The letters were the quarters of my size!
The receptionist opened the door and gestured for me to follow her inside. A wide expanse opened before me, well furnished with couches, rugs, impeccable lamps and chandeliers for lighting, and paintings. Good gosh, the office was as big as my entire apartment!
IT EVEN HAD A DAMNED LOFT!
I wasn’t going to lie; it was very nice in there. The interior designers had worked wonders. Maybe I should hire one to freshen up my apartment.
“Her desk’s right up ahead.” She informed. I could only see a frosted wall and understood I would have to walk around it to get there. I could spot two figures already behind it. I could easily tell Blair’s silhouette. The other was clearly a man. I walked nearer to the glass and noticed she was standing particularly close to him, her face inches away from his. He almost leaned in until the door closed behind me with an echo, and I froze.
“Ah, must be one of them.” Blair laughed delicately. It irked me, how much femininity she oozed. Not that it was a bad thing, it just reminded me of everything my mother wanted me to be. Everything I couldn’t be for Mark. Everything I would never be for myself.
Blair was physically perfect in every way I could see when she turned around the glass. Donned in a pale pink classic Chanel suit and skirt, she ran her nude acrylic tipped nails through her hair to fix them. Her eyes brightened when she saw me. I straightened up to greet her.
“Lilith, you made it, right on time!”
“You sure?” I chuckled unsurely, “Seemed like you were, uh…a little preoccupied?”
“Oh, it was nothing.” She shook her head and led me by the arm around the frosted glass. I almost froze in place seeing the one and only Cristo leaning against her desk.
Fuck…
Was I hurting? A little. Well, maybe that was an understatement. I was hurting a lot. His misty silver eyes caught mine in shock, and I found us frozen in time for just a moment that felt like forever.
You only feel like this because Marcus isn’t around, I reminded myself, Cristo is merely a distraction now. You don’t actually like him.
I didn’t. I really hoped I didn’t.
I wasn’t so sure anymore.
Did…she do this on purpose? Did Blair know something I didn’t?
“Is everything all right?” Blair asked with a small laugh in her voice, “I wasn’t aware things were that sour between you two.”
“Oh, no.” I shook my head and forced a smile, “He and I just don’t talk a lot.”
“Ah…” she said unsurely, “if you say so, then. Lilith, how about you make yourself comfortable? I just need to deal with a little something, won’t take more than five minutes.”
“Sure.”
And with that she tiptoed to kiss Cristo on the cheek and disappeared.
Goddammit.
“What a surprise…” Cristo said pouring himself out a glass of water, “We meet again in the most unlikely of circumstances.”
“Please tell me you didn’t cheat on her with me.”
Cristo looked at me like I’d grown two heads. He also looked a little insulted, if I wasn’t imagining it.
“She was and still is my ex.”
“I didn’t know exes met up in each other’s offices so quietly.” I sang nonchalantly as I inspected the office a bit more. It truly was a nice place.
He only sighed and shook his head, sipping on his water. I took a seat before Blair’s desk and waiting for her patiently. I guess Cristo wasn’t one to put up with silences for too long.
“What did you think of the building?”
“A waste of space.” I admitted openly, “A whole damn hallway leading to an office with just a view? Please.”
“Glad I’m not alone in that thought.” He murmured and finished his water, “What are you here for, anyway?”
“The speed-dating event she’s got planned. Got it in the mail yesterday.”
“Ah, I remember now.” He nodded with a laugh under his breath, “Mrs. Beaumont got one too.”
“What about it?” I prodded curiously. How was that amusing at all?
“She asked how Blair had the nerve.”
I bit my lip to keep from laughing, but I had to agree with it. Mrs. Beaumont was such an old-fashioned woman and had just retired, sending her an invite felt like an entitled jab at coaxing her out of her retirement so early.
“Blair’s a little…well, she’s still catching onto things but she’s a good person.”
“I guess.” I said softly.
“Hm?”
“I don’t know her well enough personally to make a judgement.” I shrugged, “I keep my guard up, just in case.”
His gaze on me was like fuel on fire. I think he caught onto what I was trying to imply. That I didn’t know him well either. But I wanted nothing more for him to take my hand and show me.
No.
I sighed internally. My mind was right. It couldn’t happen. I could tell he still had feelings for Blair deep inside.
“Why did you guys break up?” I asked as casually as I could. He cleared his throat and put his glass away, crossing his arms. He was comforting himself. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked.
“I was rebelling against my family a lot when we first got together.” He explained, “It was turbulent in my household and I simply wouldn’t rely on my parents for anything. I wanted my own path and…I wasn’t in the best place then, I guess. You have firsthand experience of me running away.”
I nodded in understanding.
“Anyway, she didn’t want someone who was so uncertain. I guess it was smart of her and she had the right to call quits on what she couldn’t see as a longterm prospect. I didn’t really get it back then so I was…very, very hurt. We were on and off for a long time until really calling it quits about three years ago when I moved to Greece with my grandfather. It took a while to bring myself to the level I am right now. I guess she sees something to keep me around now? I don’t know.”
“You still love her?”
He was silent, and I glanced at him. He looked away from me immediately, but it was too late. I’d caught him.
“I’m trying to figure that out.”