Chapter 5

The evening was calm as I walked home. The calmest I’d ever felt in such a long time. It was strange that the father (or so he thinks) to my abuser was the one who believed me. That he was the one to validate my pain and tell me what Mark did was wrong. That I should’ve never suffered like that and Emily deserves jail time.
For the first time, someone I told about it believed me.
If I wasn’t wearing my heels, I would’ve gone for a skip in the park. I felt like skipping, and I deserved it. I couldn’t explain how much lighter my chest and shoulders felt after carrying my pain around like a dirty secret.
But, alas, my happiness was not to last as I was spun around to face no one other than Marcus Blight himself.
Should I brush him off and pretend he didn’t exist? I felt like it.
“Where were you?” he demanded, eyes narrowed in contained rage that, once upon a time, would’ve intimidated me in a man.
Squaring my shoulders, I lifted my chin and answered firmly, “I had lunch with someone who came to visit me.”
“I saw.” He scoffed, “An old man at that! And in a shady alley restaurant. Who was he?”
It didn’t matter if I was a few inches shorter than him. It didn’t matter he was a guy. It didn’t matter if I liked him enough to not want to lose him as a friend. My eyes narrowed on their own, my lips pulling into a straight line of absolute distaste at the words that came out of his mouth.
“Tell me that was a slip of the tongue, Marcus.” My voice came out a lot more intimidating than I meant for it to. Honestly? I was kind of proud of myself. Because how absolutely dare he?
Marcus’s eyes widened, visibly shocked at the fluid change in my demeanor. He let go of the strong grip on my arm, studying me carefully as if he couldn’t recognize who I was. But the truth was, he never really knew me to begin with. Talking about random stuff and pop culture doesn’t cut it. And for once, I hoped that he hated what he saw and would change his mind about hoping for anything to happen between us. At this point, I wasn’t ready to even try and see him as a partner anymore.
“I said that out of concern.” He spoke slowly, “I know it sounded bad but I didn’t mean to come off like…racist or anything.”
“You stalked me.”
“You blew me off without an explanation.”
“Do I have to justify everything I do?” I challenged, “Isn’t me saying no enough?”
He clamped his mouth shut and shook his head, turning away from me. His hand found the back of his neck, rubbing furiously until he turned around still frustrated.
“You were gone for hours and I only got one text, Lilith.” He tried explaining himself, “And Aubrey? Yeah, she isn’t very quiet when tipsy.”
It dawned on me right then that she must’ve told him about me getting lost and chased in South Korea. I groaned in annoyance, knowing I had to talk to her about boundaries soon enough. I wasn’t ready to tell Marcus everything.
“Why didn’t you tell me about it?”
“Because! I didn’t want to.” I huffed, “It’s not fun having to bring back a scary moment to relive when I can just put it behind me and forget.”
He threw his hands in the air, “You can’t just forget about this stuff!”
“Watch me.”
I turned away from him to leave but he grabbed my arm and pulled me back, glaring at me.
“Your house is the other way.” He sighed, still annoyed. “Let me drop you home.”
With a roll of my eyes, I walked past him towards the right way, “I can take myself home, thank you very much.”
“It’s not sa–”
“I’ll tell you–” I huffed as I spun on my heel with a finger to his chest, “what’s not safe. Invading,” stab, “my,” stab, “PRIVACY! I just had a very good day and for once I would like for you to back the hell off and let me breathe! I don’t need to be around you all the time when I’m outside of work!”
A handful of people were starting to slow down to a stop around us, and I noticed it out of the corner of my eye. A sickening spark of thrill pulsed through my body as Marcus and I glared at each other in contempt. In the weirdest of turns, I almost smiled at him.
It felt nice to rile him up. I had that power over him.
Remembering who I was, I knew I couldn’t afford to make a scene. The thing with passerby's in America is that you don’t know if they’re there to help you, just watch for entertainment, or record you for their SnapChat. So, I dreadfully grabbed his hand and dragged him away to the nearest convenience store. I still felt the sourness radiate off of him from behind me, but I couldn’t let him leave until the people had dispersed.
I shivered as the short blast of the AC hit us upon entering the store. The fluorescent lighting flickered every now and then, and looking at the fridge reminded me of the thirst I’d been quenching for the past hour. I dropped Marcus’s hand and marched to the fridge, pulling out a box of juice for myself. Marcus appeared beside me, opening the other fridge for a beer. I quickly headed towards the chips and picked up a small bag, rushing to the counter to pay for my stuff before he could. I could practically feel him shaking his head all the way from where I stood, but he let me be.
Walking outside, I leaned against the glass of the convenience store lit up from the inside with a cursive neon sign. Punching the straw into the juice, I slipped the straw between my lips and set the box on my chest to balance while I tore open the chips. Marcus came out and stood next to me, watching in amusement. I scowled at him and stuffed the chips in my mouth.
He sipped on his beer while I on my juice, occasionally munching on a chip. I was halfway through the bag when I started to feel bad and slowly held the bag out to him. He looked down at my head, and wordlessly took a chip.
We both just stood there and stared ahead at the bright graffiti on a brick wall, munching. And for a moment, in the most terrifying sense…I felt familiar with the situation. And oddly comfortable. Because this wasn’t new. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. And after all these years, I was still okay with it.
The chuckle that slipped out was something I couldn’t help. He coughed lightly under his breath but I knew he was just as amused at the situation, smiling behind the collar of his jacket.
“That wasn’t okay.” He stated blankly, but I heard the faint laugh in his voice.
“I guess not.”
“You need help, Lilith.” He smiled at me like a best friend would after laying out a prank for the principal on the last year of high school. I only shrugged, staring harder at the graffiti that was starting to grow murky in my vision, shifting into a face I didn’t want to remember again.
“I’ll be fine.”

He’d left right after finishing his beer, patting my shoulder before parting ways with me with a promise not to follow me around. I’d only nodded in acknowledgement before walking off without so much as a goodnight.
It was obvious things were changing between us. I just wasn’t sure if it was in a good way. Arguments were normal, right? People fought all the time. That’s what relationships are, no matter what kind, as long as it didn’t go too far.
But…didn’t Marcus go too far? Isn’t that why the fight happened in the first place?
Shaking my head, I climbed into the elevator of my building and headed upwards. I was a little taken aback when I turned to look at myself in the mirror. I looked…different. Maybe older? I don’t know. I just didn’t look like myself. My eyes were definitely a little sunken. Maybe I wasn’t resting up properly. Was I sick? I didn’t feel sick. I felt just fine. It was just…today that I really snapped, so maybe I’m not taking good care of myself.
The lift dinged open and I stepped out with my phone in hand, ready to book a spa appointment for myself, I definitely needed it.
The rest of the evening went by in a blur of changing out of my clothes, washing up, my body hitting the bed and falling straight into oblivion.