The Billionaire Matchmaking Club Book5-Chapter1

Guilt.
It’s a nasty feeling that feeds on your soul and plants resentment in your heart. The thing about this emotion is that you can’t numb it. Until you find a way to repent, the memory of what you did keeps replaying on loop in your mind at the most inopportune moments. 
It had been forty five minutes since I entered my office and still, the same report displayed on the screen of my computer refused to make sense. My eyes were reading the numbers but my brain refused to interpret what they meant. Never before had I ever felt so completely thrown off my game. But then again, I had never hurt someone I cared about so badly. 
Cristo. 
It was over between us. For real this time. Any chance that we’d had left for mending the pieces that made up our complicated relationship had ceased to exist the moment he found me with that…jerk. How could I have been so stupid? I, of all people, understood how drinking past one’s limit had a tendency of shutting down all their brain cells. What the hell had I been thinking? Was I trying to prove something?
The buzzing of my phone snapped me into the present. 
With my heart leaping out of my chest, I snatched my purse and shoved my hand inside. In between taking deep breaths, I opened my eyes and stared at the caller ID. It took everything in me not to smash my phone with the heel of my shoe.
Why was Hugo calling me? What did he want? The damage he’d already caused was irrefutable, he didn’t need to remind me of that. The nagging feeling that haunted me was enough evidence of my screw up, I didn’t need anything else. 
Focus, Lilith!
With great difficulty, I abandoned my thoughts and stared at the numbers again. When did we upgrade our CCTV system? Why did it cost $15,375? Shouldn’t it have been $9,000 or something? Making a mental note to ask Lyra, I opened the next document. 
Before I had a chance to glance at it, my phone vibrated again. I knew better than to hope it was the person who probably never wanted to hear my voice for the rest of eternity but I still felt a rush when I lifted my phone. Like I suspected though, it was him. Hugo. 
“Take a hint, will you?” I clicked the reject button as I replaced the phone on my desk. Vowing to block the number if he called again, I skimmed through the list of our prospective clients. 
“Judging by the ugly scowl on your face, that must be Hugo,” Lyra commented as she closed the door behind her.
“Can you believe the audacity?” 
She let out a small laugh. “From what you’ve told me, it seems he doesn’t consider this to be a drunken mistake. For all you know, he could be calling to ask you out.” 
“Thank you for your comforting words,” I said sarcastically. “I don’t regret telling you about t all.” 
A look of concern washed over Lyra’s face. She stared at me for a few seconds and then pulled a chair to sit from across me. I knew that look. Dreaded it even. She was about to lecture me about self-preservation and what not.
“Don’t shoot the messenger,” she sighed.
“Just say whatever it is you have to say.”
“I think…” She began carefully. “I think you should call Cristo.” 
I blinked. “You are kidding me.”
“No, I’m not.”
“But…but he hates me! Don’t you get it?” I argued. “He won’t answer my calls.”
“Have you even tried calling him?” She fixed me with a hard glare. 
I shook my head slowly. 
Lyra shrugged. “Well, what are you waiting for?”
Her suggestion was ridiculous. She didn’t know him like I did. Heck, she hadn’t seen the pained look on his face when he’d spotted Hugo behind me. The look that carried layers and layers of hurt. My betrayal had pierced his heart like millions of sharp needles. The pain I had inflicted in him couldn’t just be erased with a single apologetic phone call. 
It’s easier when someone is pissed with you. At least that way, you can wait a little while for them to cool off before promising to be a better person in future.
With this kind of hurt, it was entirely different. 
Redemption isn’t easily earned. Time doesn’t necessarily heal those wounds either. Maybe it lessens the pain but people will never trust you the same again. Maybe the person you wronged will one day stand to be in the same room with you but in their eyes, your mistake will always define who you are. Dazzling memories will be replaced by that one moment in time that you let the irrational, human side of you fool you into doing something so unspeakable.
“Lyra, I’m telling you he doesn’t want to speak to me.” Now that I’d said the words out loud, they sounded real. And it stung. “Ever again.” 
“There is only one way to find out,” Lyra pressed. Realizing her words were not having any impact on my decision, she tried a different strategy. “Lilith, if you continue to sit here feeling sorry for yourself, you won’t get any work done. And that’s bad for business. I’m sorry but I have to be honest with you.”
“You came here to read me the riot act?” I deadpanned.
She didn’t laugh at my lame joke. “I know you, Lilith. You are scared of rejection, the same way you are terrified of letting people in. Tell you what, if you don’t go and explain to that man what happened and beg him to give you another chance, Blair will console him and before you know it, you will be reading their wedding announcement in the newspapers!”
I was at a loss for words. Never before had I felt so called out like that. If I was really honest, I was impressed by how well she’d summarized my dilemma and made the solution sound so simple.
Screw calling him. A face to face conversation was better. For one, Cristo would be forced to speak to me. And more importantly, I had a better chance of convincing him if I could see his facial expressions. 
“Is that what you want?” Lyra said. Her tone was fierce and her eyes commanding. 
“No,” I breathed. Pulling back my chair, I got up and grabbed my purse. “Can you take care of the office while I sort out my personal life?”
Lyra smiled proudly, touching my shoulder on her way out. “I will be happy to. Good luck.”


“I’m here to see Cristo.”
The secretary pushed her glasses higher up her nose to get a clearer look at me. I hated it when people scrutinized me. Most of the time, it meant that they didn’t think you were worth their time. And I was right. I could see it in her judgemental green eyes that she didn’t recognize me. 
“Please,” I felt compelled to add. 
“Mr. Caron is busy,” she said flippantly. “Maybe you can come back tomorrow?”
Tomorrow? I needed to see him now! Did she have any idea what could happen in another twenty four hours? In ten minutes, even? The man I loved could go back to Blair’s waiting arms. That couldn’t happen.
“It’s a fucking emergency. This can’t wait,” I spelled the words out for her.
“Who are you exactly?” She said disinterestedly. 
“Tell him it’s Lilith,” I said, my teeth grinding against each other. 
Because I didn’t say my last name, having seen no reason to, the name didn’t ring a bell. The woman shook her head again, plastering a fake smile on her face. “I’m sorry ma’am. I really can’t help you.” 
My patience was thinning. “In that case, I will just show myself into his office to wait!”
I walked past her, lifted the knob and pushed through the unlocked door. 
“Stop, please!” The secretary said behind me. “I could lose my job.”
I snorted. Was she serious? I was about to lose someone important to me. Her petty problems were of no interest to me at all.
Groaning, I shut the door behind me and turned to lock eyes with a shocked Cristo. My first instinct was to run to his side and apologize. I had a better shot of getting the whole story out if I struck whilst the iron was still hot. If I gave him a chance to recover, he was likely going to ask me to leave the premises. 
All that seemed like a solid plan, except that there was a bit of a complication. Complications actually. 
Cristo wasn’t alone. 
John and Selene, his parents, were staring at me, waiting for me to explain my behavior. They didn’t look pissed but rather, confused. 
“Miss Mendez, I see that you have decided to join us.” Cristo sounded detached and businesslike. He had never addressed me like that. His eyes were conveying a very different message; are you crazy?Maybe I was. I wasn’t sure. 
“I wanted to, um…”  I stuttered. My words refused to form anything coherent. What possible reason could I have to cause a scene at Alexakis Enterprises? 
“You wanted to carry on with our previous conversation?” Cristo finished for me. To his parents he said, “Miss Mendez was interested in buying shares in our company. The secretary must have mixed up my appointments.”
Selene nodded in understanding and gave me a warm smile. 
“We have heard so much about your work,” John said with a note of admiration in his voice.  Or was he saying that to be polite? 
Whilst I didn’t move in the same circles as the Carons, I had been in the industry long enough to know that it was the language of the rich. Nothing was ever personal. Even friendships were superficial, only formed to benefit both parties in terms of more profits. Of late, I had been in the spotlight but not because of my achievements. Blair did an outstanding job of soiling my reputation and I knew even hermits had learnt about my ‘unbecoming’ ways. 
Selene and John were just being casual about it since I was a potential ‘investor’ and all. It didn’t matter to them what my extracurricular activities were, just as long as I kept ploughing money into their business and causes. 
“All good I hope?” I said, finally managing to pull myself together. 
“Of course.” He gestured at Cristo. “I hope my son has been doing a great job of marketing the company.”
“Yes, yes,” I agreed hastily. “So far, I’m confident I will be getting my money’s worth.”
It was Selene who sensed we needed a few moments of privacy. Rising from her chair, she tapped John’s shoulder.
“Honey, maybe we should come back later?” She said. “I’m sure Lilith is a busy woman and every second counts.”
John smiled. “Of course.” 
I shot Selena an almost grateful smile. “Thank you.”
When they left, Cristo locked the door and turned to face me. 
“Care to explain yourself?” He crossed his arms. In a span of ten seconds, his expression had changed from tranquil to full blown fury. 
Again, my throat went dry. What was the plan again? Perhaps it would have been a good idea to rehearse my speech first. 
“Lilith,” he said with exaggerated patience. “Please explain to me why you decided to barge in and interrupt an important meeting.” 
I stared at the files on his desk to avoid his eyes. “From the look of things, it didn’t look like you were particularly enjoying the meeting anyway.”
He pursed his lips together. “Get out of my office.” 
“Cristo, I came to explain everything.” I had never injected so much desperation in my voice. Needless to say, his expression didn’t change. 
“You want to explain how hard he kissed you? How tight he held you in his arms?” He was shouting now. “How loud you screamed his name during sex? Is that it?” 
“No...” I didn’t get to finish my sentence. 
“You said you came to explain what happened,” he scoffed. “Unless there is a different definition of the word ‘explain’, then that’s exactly what you meant.”

“THAT’S NOT IT!” I shouted over him. At this point, I didn’t care if anyone heard me. Cristo’s office was mostly likely soundproofed but we were screaming at each other and there was only so much noise the room could trap. 
“Then what is it, Lilith?” He said calmly. 
“I was throwing a party at my house. A work party,” I said. “We had too much to drink and one thing led to another. We made out but I didn’t sleep with him. I regretted it all the next morning. I swear.” 
“Who is he?” 
“Hugo? We used to be friends. Maybe we flirted a little but it was never serious. It’s ancient history.”
He snorted. “Yeah, right.” 
“You don’t believe me?” I croaked. 
“Do you want me to spell it out to you?” His voice trembled with emotion, causing a fresh surge of panic in me. “You didn’t have clothes on, Lilith. And neither did he. Forgive me if I don’t believe you were undressed simply because the room was hot.”
“But…” I threw my hands in the air. No matter what angle I tried to look at the situation, it looked bad. So bad that I didn’t blame him for not believing me. 
“You should have thought up a better lie,” Cristo rebuked as he strolled away to stare out of the window. 
I followed him. 
“I missed you,” I said, feeling brave. “I was with him because I missed you so much but I was too scared to call you.”
His eyes flickered to me, softening a little. 
“I’m sorry.” I reached out to trap his cheeks between my palms. He didn’t push me away but he flinched at the sudden contact. 
“Why should I trust you, Lilith?” It came out as a whisper. He wasn’t mocking me. The question sounded genuine, like he wanted me to give him a valid reason. There it was. A ray of hope. 
“Because then I can prove to you that the person you saw that morning isn’t who I am,” I said. “You will see.”
He was silent as he weighed my words.
“Please,” I begged. “Cristo, give me a chance. It’s only you. Always has been.”
“Are you still involved with him?”
“We were supposed to create this online platform together…” He grabbed my hands and unglued my palms from his face. No, no, no. “But that’s all. Work, Cristo! Nothing more.” 
“You say that now,” he said. “What if you have drinks with him again? What if you can’t control yourself next time?” 
“I won’t screw this up,” I pledged. “Never again.”
“And if you do?” He challenged me. “Lilith, we are both adults. We don’t need to be wasting each other’s time.” 
“Then I will set you free,” I said, the heavy feeling in my chest bringing tears to my eyes. “But it won’t come to that. You will see.”
That seemed to shake his resolve a liitle.  
“I’ll think about it,” he said and went back to his desk. “Now, if you will excuse me, I have work to do.”
The Billionaire Matching Club Books 1-6
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