Chapter 7

Lyra had gone to escort Rinka out of the building, leaving me alone in the dim office with my thoughts in disarray. Bad idea. The dark reminded me of…of things. Like his warmth against the cold. On my body. His large and calloused hands, hot on my waist and traveling lower. His breath on my neck and lips on my chest.
The smile in his eyes when I cried out, realizing he’d hit the spot.
“Fuck…” I cursed under my breath with my head in my hands. I missed Cristo. I really did. And even though I really had to talk to Lyra about the way she’d been acting, I just wanted to go home and cry my heart out. Maybe throw away my phone to keep myself from checking his Instagram through a damned fake account so he didn’t think I missed him.
Pathetic.
I was pathetic.
Lyra was back way too soon for me to compose myself. “You looked like you wanted to talk to me.”
I looked at her calculatingly, and decided I couldn’t do it today. I was too distraught for it. Funny, really, seeing as how Cristo and I never even dated but I felt like I was going through a break up.
“Not right now.” I shook my head. “I need to get home and…sleep. Maybe call up the therapist later.”
“Should I make an early appointment for you?”
“You do that.”
Lyra gave me a worried look, but turned and left the room to make some calls on her phone. Once I had gathered myself, I walked out of my office and through the building. Greeting the janitor who was getting ready to lock up, I hopped into the car and let Lyra drive me away.
I headed to my bedroom as soon as I got home. I was exhausted, my muscles were a little tense and sore for some reason. I shut the curtains, enjoying the quiet for a moment and as soon as my head hit the pillow I knew that it wasn’t going to be long before I fell asleep. 
Moments later, someone was slipping under the sheets and I flinched, wondering if I really had drifted straight away. For a split second, panic got hold of my body before I recognised his scent. 
“Hmmm … what are you doing in here? I thought you were in Greece?” I asked him, half awake. How did I not hear the door and how did he get inside without a key?
He wrapped his body around mine and I was suddenly very awake, feeling his hard erection that was now poking me in my backside. All the questions and doubts were slowly melting away. It no longer mattered how Cristo got in here. 
Heat rushed through my bones, spreading like a molten lava as Cristo moved his hand over my breasts, lazily circling his finger over my nipple.
“I came back … I couldn’t stay away Lilith. It has been far too long,” he rasped directly into my ear, sending chills down my body. I was already so damn wet for him and my sex was throbbing. His other hand began circling around my stomach, moving down to the panty line. I must have taken my bra off earlier on because I was only in my lace panties whereas Cristo was still wearing several items of clothing. 
“We need to–”
“Shhhh, right now, we need to fuck … and that’s all you have to think of, my dear Lilith,” he cut me off turning me around, so that he was now laying on top of me, situated right between my legs. The room was dark, but his face was so close to mine that I could see my own reflection in his blue eyes. 
I giggled loudly because I was ready to tell him to get lost, but my sex was throbbing with the need for release. My heart skipped a beat as he rubbed himself over my crotch. His scent as usual turned me into wild Lilith–the one that wanted to experiment in the bedroom; the one without fear and anxiety. The dark side of me flooded my veins as if my blood were alive and whispering my deepest, dirtiest fantasies with every beat of my heart.  
Cristo pressed his mouth to mine with a searing hot, demanding kiss that left me breathless. His shaft was pressing over my entrance. I just wanted him to rip those panties off.  Cristo reduced me to a quivering mess with his molten touch. 
“Good girl … now try not make too much noise,” he said, moving his lips down to my erect nipples. 
“No dear, it’s my turn now,” I protested suddenly, after I realised that I was the one that wanted to be in control right now.
I quickly pushed him off me and smiled seductively. The look of confusion on his face was priceless, but I didn’t give him any time to think about what I was planning as I slid myself down under the covers. My fingertips brushed down his body, all the way to his hard rock shaft and I bit my lip. I wanted to please him right now, there was no other way and I was so turned on. There was no concealing his arousal now. 
“Lilith what the hell are you doing? You don’t have to,” he was mumbling something now. 
“But I want to please you Cristo,” I whispered, pulling his boxers down and breathing into his cock, my lips were nearly touching it. He was so hard and my whole body was trembling thinking about that last time in my apartment. 
“Dear lord, you’re magnificent,” he growled as I moved my hand over his length, teasing him a little more. Then I lowered myself down and wrapped my lips around over his cock, sucking it in and out. He moaned some incoherent words tensing his thighs as I began working my mouth up and down quickly. 
My tongue focused on his tip once he was locked in and soon he was going crazy, telling me that I was a devil queen and he wasn’t going to last long. I moved my mouth up and down his pulsating shaft, quickly picking up the pace. I liked being in control this time and I was enjoying this so much. It felt so liberating. 
“Arghhh … you’re killing me … fuck keep doing this,” he rasped, panting. I then wrapped my left hand around his shaft and continued sucking him until his whole body was so tense and shaky. He arched his hips forward and I started to sweat a little. My own sex was throbbing, I was desperate to have him inside me. 
I pulled out just as he was ejaculating, making those sexy wolf noises.  My lips were a little swollen and I thought I’d broken him for a minute because for a long time afterwards he just lay there breathing hard. 
“Are you …” 
“I am absolutely wonderful,” he growled, suddenly jumping on his knees. I was so shocked when all of a sudden, he flipped me over so I was on all fours. “Now, I’m going to fuck you so hard that you won’t be able to walk straight for days.”
“Bring it on then,” I laughed as a cold shiver crawled over my spine.  Cristo ripped my panties off me, tearing them to pieces, fulfilling my earlier desire. Oh lord, it seemed as if he could read my mind. 
“You won’t be needing these anymore,” he added, casting them onto the floor and then he thrust his erection inside me without any warning. The heat ravaged me, pouring into my bones as he dug his nails into my hips, pounding into me. He felt amazing and I was already panting.
“You’re so tight, so perfect Lilith,”  he panted. 
I quickly forgot about the panties as my orgasm was nearing. He thrust his hard cock into me quickly, so fast that I was having trouble to keep up with the rhythm. Moments later, I was cumming, the divine ecstasy crashed through my body in waves as Cristo held me climaxing along with me. Shortly after that we both collapsed on the bed, panting for breath, my whole body still shaking, trembling.
 I could see stars dancing in front of me as I took long, deep breaths to slow my heartbeat back down. That was definitely not what I expected when Lyra dropped me off earlier. 
“Are you okay?” I asked him after a long moment, once I was able to talk again. I just had to stay awake now, I couldn’t let him leave. He turned to face me, supporting himself on one elbow.  
There was a giant smile on his face. Damn, my heart exploded inside my chest as these strange feelings began pouring in. Was this? No … No Lilith, don't even go there now. This isn’t love. 
“I have never felt better, you’re a beast.” 
“Just don’t leave again please. I want you to stay,” I said, feeling my darkness start to slowly creep in again.  
“What do you mean Lilith? I’m not going anywhere,” he said, grabbing my hand and moving me closer to his chest. 
“You always leave …you never stay. Every-time we get close you’re not there in the morning. Remember our first night in Japan and then all the others,” I complained. Alright, I was sulking a little because he wasn’t there when I woke up. I hated waking up alone. 
“I’m sorry, I don’t do it deliberately. I just want you to have your beauty sleep,” he replied. “I won’t leave again. I promise this time all right?” 
“Good, because I really like waking up with you,” I commented. 
“Agreed,” he responded quietly.
***
 
I woke up abruptly in a cold sweat. A rude awakening compared to Cristo’s warmth I’d felt just seconds ago. The dream…it had felt so real. I thought he was back.
Maybe I was wishing too hard.
Why couldn’t I just shoot him a message? Call him. Ask how he was doing. Why did my ego get in the way of the simplest things?
I was ruining us.
Looking at the faintly lit window, I reached for my phone to check the time. Almost seven. Barely sunrise at this time, with winter right around the corner.
I was so lonely; the walls were closing in on me again. I needed to get out of here.
 The walls were crying again. Waves of…emptiness.
Lonely.
It was so lonely in here and the walls were closing in on me again. I needed to get out of here quickly. With my mind fuzzy and vision even fuzzier, I washed up quickly and threw on a pair of sweats. Finding my long coat, I pulled on a pair of comfortable sneakers and headed out with Holly’s leash in my hand. She seemed excited to have me back, and even happier to be going out on a walk with me.
“At least you appreciate me as I am and have no additional expectations.” I sighed at her as we took the elevator down. The cold nipped at my face as we exited the building and I instantly regretted not grabbing a hat.
Well, actually, I was just too lazy to turn back now.
With no particular route in mind, I started to walk quickly to generate some heat in my body. Winter was close, and that meant Christmas was coming up soon too. How dreadfully delightful. I hadn’t the heart to cut my mother off my payment plans after what she did. I also knew she’d emotionally blackmail me to come home for the holidays.
For once, I wanted to spend the holidays alone. It always felt so lonely at her place anyway, seeing as how all my aunts, uncles, and cousins would pick me apart regardless of how well I did for myself.
What I would give to be truly appreciated. Without someone taking advantage of me, or having ulterior motives.
Maybe I didn’t want to be alone…
Ugh, I shook my head, Christmas is weeks away, stop thinking about it.
Clearing my mind, I looked straight ahead with determination. I needed to get as far away from my lonely apartment as possible and–
How on earth did I get here? I thought in surprise as I looked around. Holly was tugging against her leash, barking at the ducks in the lake. My favorite lake.
I wasn’t meaning to end up there at all. Guess I had been relying on muscle memory and came here on auto pilot. If I thought my apartment was lonely, then my usual bench looked even lonelier. Memories from the night we talked in this very place came flooding back to me.
Cristo was haunting me.
My eyes held onto the bench. I had half a mind to run away and not confront anything but…maybe I needed to be the one to stop running away from things, for once in my life. So, with timid and small steps, I approached the bench and sat on it lightly. I wasn’t comfortable, on edge as if ready to bolt at a moment’s notice. But I held myself down to sit and try being okay with the feelings at least. The feeling of being heard by Cristo. His patience. The pain I caused him because of my internal walls.
Why was it so hard to accept that he wanted me?
“Fancy an early morning jog, love?”
“I will smack you in the face, Hugo.” I snapped in absolute annoyance, turning my head to look at him venomously. His evergreen smirk remained, unbothered and unintimidated. Hugo was dressed in a pair of brown designer sweats, hair held back by a band of similar color, and…the same colored shoes. Holly laid on the ground and watched him. 
“What are you? Starbuck’s mascot?” I snorted.
“It’s fashion, Lily.”
“Lilith.”
“You’re too soft for such a name.”
Ticked off, I got up and marched up to him, “I’ll show you who’s soft, Evans.”
“Whoa, whoa, hey!” his face finally paled as he threw his hands up in defense, backing away with each step I took towards him. “Let’s not get violent now. It was just silly banter. Come on, Lilith, it’s just like the old times.”
“And you’re just as annoying as you were back then.” I smiled sarcastically, “Find someone else to pay attention to you.”
“Okay, you know what?” he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, “We need to talk. Seriously, we do.”
“No, we don’t.”
“It’s been years.” He demanded. “I know we’ve always been rivals but…you got colder after that stupid party and–”
“That party never happened.”
“It did.” He scolded me. “It did and we shared a drunken kiss.”
The memory of it made me almost physically cringe, “DID NOT!”
“Stop acting like a brat!”
I scoffed and turned away from him immediately, walking quickly and not interested in dealing with him at all. Holly didn’t seem wanting to go, but I pulled her leash. The mere sight of him ticked me off for some reason and I wish I understood why. But I had enough problems on my plate right now to try and see this one through as well.
His footsteps, or rather his panting, was getting nearer, until he latched onto my arm. I stopped and looked at his hand, surprised by the hint of desperation in his fingers and the pleading in his eyes.
“Lilith, please…” he breathed in exasperation. “Let’s just…sit down and have a proper, real chat for once?”
Staring at him and trying to work out his intentions, I could see there really was no malice in his request. Regardless, I still couldn’t help feeling cautious.
“Fine.” I huffed. “What do you have in mind?”
“Let’s have some breakfast.” He smiled softly, although a little scared. “Wherever you choose. My treat, all right? Please?”
I bit my lip and took a moment to consider. It was just breakfast, I wouldn’t die. So, I nodded. 
“Okay, but I need to drop Holly off first,” I said and Hugo breathed in relief and followed me home. I made him wait outside until I was sure that Holly was comfortable. Twenty minutes later I led us away from my apartment to a nearby diner. 
The atmosphere was calm and quiet. A waitress at the counter stood, barely awake, as she blinked herself out of a daydream to take a customer’s order at the bar. The red booths along with the black and white tiles were right out of a classic 80s diner. Jazz music played softly in the air as the smell of bacon and hash browns wafted around us.
We slid into a booth across from each other and the waitress joined us shortly after with menus in hand. “Can I start you off with anything to drink?”
“A medium black coffee for me,” I replied and looked at Hugo who eyes the beverages on the menu carefully. I could see the waitress look him up and down, a little confused and skeptical.
“Is the tea authentic?” he pondered aloud. It was such a painfully British question.
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Never mind. Um, I’ll just have the orange juice, please.”
“Right away.”
I gave him a look of contempt as he flipped through the menu with furrowed brows. He was acting like he couldn’t understand a word written on it.
“What?” I asked him. “Can’t find the beans on toast?”
“I would never pick on you and your tacos.”
“Because tacos are great.”
“Well, I haven’t touched a plate of beans and toast in six months. Thank you for your concern.”
I snorted sarcastically behind my menu. As if six months counted for anything. He glared at me from over his menu and rolled his eyes, returning to scanning the pages. I skimmed through the options and settled on a plate of classic breakfast. Hugo was still stuck with his decision and I groaned.
“Just go with the classic breakfast, Hugo. Ask for the omelette.”
“I’m not a child.” He snapped.
“You’re acting like one.”
“I’m just taking my time!”
“The waitress is already here!” I lied.
“I can give you more time.” She said appearing out of nowhere and I jumped in my seat. It startled both the waitress and Hugo, but the young lady composed herself and set our drinks down. I threw her an apologetic look as Hugo snickered. She gave us both a look of concern.
“Would you…um, like more time?”
“A classic breakfast for me.” I told her and slid the menu away from myself. Hugo sighed with a sour look at me.
“I’ll have the same.”
“All right.” She sighed, obviously relieved as she collected the menus. “It’ll be ready in five minutes.”
Hugo and I were left with nothing to do but stare each other down, occasionally checking our phones or looking around the place blankly. If we accidentally caught each other’s eye, we’d be sneering. Soon, we were having a stare down contest, both of us unwilling to blink. It must’ve been pretty unnerving because in the corner of my eye the couple at the barstools kept glancing at us with concern.
“You’re doing it again.” He sniped.
I smirked, “Doing what?”
“Looking like you’ll kill me the first chance you get.”
“Will I, or won’t I?” I shrugged. “That is the question.”
He groaned exasperatedly and threw his hands in the air. “Lilith, you need to stop being so hostile. All I ever do is joke around with you!”
“You annoy me.”
“W-well then…” he stammered, looking upset. “You’re boring!”
I gasped, “Am not!”
“Here are your orders.” The waitress appeared, placed our food, and disappeared so quickly I could barely tell she was there at all. I could see my steaming plate under my nose. Sunny-side up eggs, bacon strips, and hash browns. It made my stomach grumble and I was considering forsaking the silent competition to just eat up and leave already. Hugo and I were fated to be rivals. We were always fighting but…it was strangely fun. Because it was familiar.
He was someone I could understand if I allowed it. Despite that, I knew it would be unhealthy to let him in. Familiarity mixed with conflict was a terrible reason to get closer to anyone.
Plus, I missed Cristo so much. So very much and I knew that if anything were to happen between Hugo and I, it would hurt the three of us very deeply in the end.
It’s why I kept my distance with Hugo. I didn’t even like him romantically anymore. It would be unfair to involve myself with him as anything more than the competition. He thought he was in the clear right now, but I saw the way he’d looked at me six years ago at that damned party. The way he held me when he kissed me. It was obvious he liked me back then, and all I could do in that moment was pray he didn’t find out about my feelings.
Hugo’s eyes were starting to redden from the strain. So were his cheeks. When his ears started turning pink, I knew immediately that although we had been so far apart in time and distance since then, things really hadn’t changed for him.
My gaze softened, a little taken aback and perhaps…a little sad.
“You still like me, don’t you?” I said softly. His face went slack, blinking a bit in a daze until he sighed and looked down at his food. Picking his fork and knife, he only shook his head.
“Just eat, Lilith.”
I’d won, but at what cost? Slowly, I reached out for my cutlery and ate. The silence was awkward, tensions growing thicker by the minute. It encased us in its viscous hold, and we were too stuck to try and move ourselves out of this mess.
We ate in silence. And when we were done, he put a fifty on the table, got up, and left without another word.